why do parents (1 Viewer)

[Villains]

think that Bs are a bad grade....??

 

[tai]

Because they're dumb and have unrealistic expectations of their children.

 

[Villains]

Because they're dumb and have unrealistic expectations of their children.

lmao yes
that happened to me yesterday cause I have an 85 in english and my mom says that i need to do better :(

 

[tai]

lmao yes
that happened to me yesterday cause I have an 85 in english and my mom says that i need to do better :(

School is very hard for me, mostly because of my adhd and autism and I usually can't get over a 70%. My parents when I try to tell them why I'm failing and that I need help, my parents tell me I am using my diagnosis as an excuse :/

 

[brekker]

because they want the best for you and they know you can do better
after all, you are their child, their shining star

 

[Villains]

School is very hard for me, mostly because of my adhd and autism and I usually can't get over a 70%. My parents when I try to tell them why I'm failing and that I need help, my parents tell me I am using my diagnosis as an excuse :/

i'm so sorry they say that :( like that's not even funny

 

[Villains]

because they want the best for you and they know you can do better
after all, you are their child, their shining star

but it stresses me out :(

 

[tai]

i'm so sorry they say that :( like that's not even funny

Eh, I'm used to it, but luckily I don't live with them anymore so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

 

[brekker]

but it stresses me out :(

life is stressful and all of us need to learn how to cope with it. there are worse things to be stressed about: not having enough money to pay off the mortgage, health of your parents, children, responsibilities that come with your job ... if you are stressing about grades that´s just the easier part.

 

[Villains]

Eh, I'm used to it, but luckily I don't live with them anymore so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

that's good :)

 

[Villains]

life is stressful and all of us need to learn how to cope with it. there are worse things to be stressed about: not having enough money to pay off the mortgage, health of your parents, children, responsibilities that come with your job ... if you are stressing about grades that´s just the easier part.

yeah i understand that, yay can't wait to be an adult

 

[tai]

life is stressful and all of us need to learn how to cope with it. there are worse things to be stressed about: not having enough money to pay off the mortgage, health of your parents, children, responsibilities that come with your job ... if you are stressing about grades that´s just the easier part.

Yes, there are worse things to be stressed about, but the thing is... if you don't make it through school, you might as well kiss your chance at a successful life goodbye. School is the stepping stone to having a successful life.

 

[brekker]

Yes, there are worse things to be stressed about, but the thing is... if you don't make it through school, you might as well kiss your chance at a successful life goodbye. School is the stepping stone to having a successful life.

aaaaand that´s exactly why you should study and get good grades? not that there are not people who didn´t have good grades and are successful enough but they are more naturally intelligent, more street smart and those are exceptions. the rest of us work our asses off.

 

[tai]

aaaaand that´s exactly why you should study and get good grades? not that there are not people who didn´t have good grades and are successful enough but they are more naturally intelligent, more street smart and those are exceptions. the rest of us work out asses off.

True. You should always try your best at school, but there are some instances when your best might not be enough.

 

[brekker]

True. You should always try your best at school, but there are some instances when your best might not be enough.

enough for who?

 

[tai]

enough for who?

Your parents, the school system. But let me add onto that. Your work/grades. Might be enough for you, But others would expect more.

Not to mention people who are academically challenged or who are Neurodivergent don't get the help they need in schools for them to succeed. Am I making sense?

Also, I hope you see this as just a friendly debate ^ ^

 

[brekker]

Your parents, the school system. But let me add onto that. Your work/grades. Might be enough for you, But others would expect more.

Not to mention people who are academically challenged or who are Neurodivergent don't get the help they need in schools for them to succeed. Am I making sense?

Also, I hope you see this as just a friendly debate ^ ^

and who are you studying for? your parents? your school system?
you have to decide what you want. your parents always expect their best from their children, they always want them to get good grades, because they know that would lead to a good school. my parents didn´t push me. they told me "it is your life, if you wanna be a house keeper, be it" I was allowed to slack off and became a house keeper. I wish my parents pushed me harder to get better grades.
I am not saying your parents did the best, but they were probably trying to do their best.

also just because you think you are doing your best, doesn´t mean that´s true. with all due respect, a lot of people don´t know how to study properly, how to take notes and how to memorize needed things. I was one of them. I became a nerd at uni, but high school? oh please

I don´t know what kind of school system you are in, so I cannot criticise, we have a lot of offers here and a lot of options so maybe we are just lucky. the question also is, a lot of people (and I am not saying you are one of them) don´t really ask for help and just .... expect it. I´m pretty sure most American school offer counselling at least. we do have extra classes free of charge that we offer to weaker students or students with learning disabilities. most primary school classes even have an assistant who works with kids with learning or behavioural disabilities (as well as physical and mental). I am also sure American schools can provide a school psychologist that is a great help to create a bridge between a student and teachers as well as parents.


of course parents should have realistic expectations and not everyone needs a college degree but you can always try at least as long as it is a common dream that you can reach for.

I am afraid people these days just expect everything to be without stress and in their safe zone but that´s not ... life? helping students to cope with stress is essential but expecting them not to be stressed about grades at all? hmm I think there are types like that....but they usually leave before even finishing high school. great if they manage to pull it off, but the majority? nagh

I´m not saying don´t ask for help ... I´m saying, don´t blame your parents for wanting the best for you. If I were blessed with children, I´d definitely make sure education is their priority as well as not being jerks :D. thankfully for this world, I am not a mother.

 

[tai]

and who are you studying for? your parents? your school system?
you have to decide what you want. your parents always expect their best from their children, they always want them to get good grades, because they know that would lead to a good school. my parents didn´t push me. they told me "it is your life, if you wanna be a house keeper, be it" I was allowed to slack off and became a house keeper. I wish my parents pushed me harder to get better grades.
I am not saying your parents did the best, but they were probably trying to do your best.

also just because you think you are doing your best, doesn´t mean that´s true. with all due respect, a lot of people don´t know how to study properly, how to take notes and how to memorize needed things. I was one of them. I became a nerd at uni, but high school? oh please

I don´t know what kind of school system you are in, so I cannot criticise, we have a lot of offers here and a lot of options so maybe we are just lucky. the question also is, a lot of people (and I am not saying you are one of them) don´t really ask for help and just .... expect it. I´m pretty sure most American school offer counselling at least. we do have extra classes free of charge that we offer to weaker students or students with learning disabilities. most primary school classes even have an assistant who works with kids with learning or behavioural disabilities (as well as physical and mental). I am also sure American schools can provide a school psychologist that is a great help to create a bridge between a student and teachers as well as parents.


of course parents should have realistic expectations and not everyone needs a college degree but you can always try at least as long as it is a common dream that you can reach for.

I am afraid people these days just expect everything to be without stress and in their safe zone but that´s not ... life? helping students to cope with stress is essential but expecting them not to be stressed about grades at all? hmm I think there are types like that....but they usually leave before even finishing high school. great if they manage to pull it off, but the majority? nagh

I´m not saying don´t ask for help ... I´m saying, don´t blame your parents for wanting the best for you. If I were blessed with children, I´d definitely make sure education is their priority as well as not being jerks :D. thankfully for this world, I am not a mother.

I knew when it took you longer than five minutes to reply, I was about to get owned lmao

All good points I must admit. But as for counseling goes-- One would rather see an actual therapist than a counselor. School counselors are literally shit at their job, at least at my school. You tell them one thing and miraculously the entire school will know.

The asking for help thing-- I mean if you don't ask for help, naturally the teacher won't know to help you. But the thing is, teachers and parents don't usually try and help you cope with stress -- The only advice they give you is 'do your work' And I know like that I should probably do my work if I want to be less stressed, but with adhd that's kinda hard to just do. Its one thing to just not do your work and a completely different thing to not be able to physically make yourself do it.

 

[brekker]

I knew when it took you longer than five minutes to reply, I was about to get owned lmao

All good points I must admit. But as for counseling goes-- One would rather see an actual therapist than a counselor. School counselors are literally shit at their job, at least at my school. You tell them one thing and miraculously the entire school will know.

The asking for help thing-- I mean if you don't ask for help, naturally the teacher won't know to help you. But the thing is, teachers and parents don't usually try and help you cope with stress -- The only advice they give you is 'do your work' And I know like that I should probably do my work if I want to be less stressed, but with adhd that's kinda hard to just do. Its one thing to just not do your work and a completely different thing to not be able to physically make yourself do it.

if you can afford a therapist or their help is free in your country, then I would definitely use that, especially since you know what helps you. therapists are not free of charge where I live so I guess the counselling is what most people do unless they can afford a therapist or are sent there by the court (in that case I believe it is free of any charge).

as for your teachers not giving you any help, I´m sorry to hear that you didn´t get the support you deserved but the thing also is, at high school you need to show some progress. you are supposed to learn how to deal with ADHD, if no help was offered to you, I am sorry, but in that case, it may be the right time to learn what you can do to improve your life because it can affect your job performance and no one cares in the adult world about anything but money and an employer who brings it. OR you can always go freelance and depend fully on yourself. that is a sweet and brilliant option. honestly if I was brave enough I´d go that route.

 

[tai]

if you can afford a therapist or their help is free in your country, then I would definitely use that, especially since you know what helps you. therapists are not free of charge where I live so I guess the counselling is what most people do unless they can afford a therapist or are sent there by the court (in that case I believe it is free of any charge).

as for your teachers not giving you any help, I´m sorry to hear that you didn´t get the support you deserved but the thing also is, at high school you need to show some progress. you are supposed to learn how to deal with ADHD, if no help was offered to you, I am sorry, but in that case, it may be the right time to learn what you can do to improve your life because it can affect your job performance and no one cares in the adult world about anything but money and an employer who brings it. OR you can always go freelance and depend fully on yourself. that is a sweet and brilliant option. honestly if I was brave enough I´d go that route.

Honestly, freelance would be amazing. I've always wanted to try van life..