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Sensitive For my own Amusement: The Pain Never Ends (1 Viewer)

_Enid_Sinclair_

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Releasing the demons in my head
suicidal thoughts are my new bed
a comfort I need to sleep forever too
I have been drinking too much negativity
and now I am addicted
hungover and leaning over a ledge
always on edge
like the knife tip in the moonlight glistening
never missing a beat
a darkness that never ends
mending a void of nothingness seems pointless
living a fantasy that is all I know
turning to a reality that isn't mine
the voices kill my mood
kill my happiness like a murder victim
always a victim to my own madness
my own sadness knows no limits
just want to bin myself like trash on the rebound
a lifeless corpse in the rain
the rain in my head never seems to leave
as I leave this world
as I leave this world
I could care less about being open as a book
when my mind is closed like a dark carnival
a dark mood is my new energy
a dark circumference is my realisation
the new me is the old me
and the old me is a lost cause
A reason to exist lessening
as I lessen the pain in my heart
I splatter like clothing tatter against the matter
what matters is death
and life is just an illusion

Note: I have been feeling shit over the past few weeks and this is what I made from it.
It's not supposed to be enjoyable. But just to reveal all the problems in my mind state and mentality : /

@vogue @kodoku @Lady_Grey @DrowningFishy @gayzone @Saythename17 @Jimmychimchim @Somi@Bookworm

I am in a good mood now. Just needed to release these thoughts, rather than bottle them up. Like I have been doing.
I didn't mean any harm by it to anyone. It feels like a death metal song if nothing else.

This is what I used to first write. : / It feels weird to go back to that part of my life : /
 
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Releasing the demons in my head
suicidal thoughts are my new bed
a comfort I need to sleep forever too
I have been drinking too much negativity
and now I am addicted
hungover and leaning over a ledge
always on edge
like the knife tip in the moonlight glistening
never missing a beat
a darkness that never ends
mending a void of nothingness seems pointless
living a fantasy that is all I know
turning to a reality that isn't mine
the voices kill my mood
kill my happiness like a murder victim
always a victim to my own madness
my own sadness knows no limits
just want to bin myself like trash on the rebound
a lifeless corpse in the rain
the rain in my head never seems to leave
as I leave this world
as I leave this world
I could care less about being open as a book
when my mind is closed like a dark carnival
a dark mood is my new energy
a dark circumference is my realisation
the new me is the old me
and the old me is a lost cause
A reason to exist lessening
as I lessen the pain in my heart
I splatter like clothing tatter against the matter
what matters is death
and life is just an illusion

Note: I have been feeling shit over the past few weeks and this is what I made from it.
It's not supposed to be enjoyable. But just to reveal all the problems in my mind state and mentality : /

@vogue @kodoku @Lady_Grey @DrowningFishy @gayzone @Saythename17 @Jimmychimchim @Somi@Bookworm

I am in a good mood now. Just needed to release these thoughts, rather than bottle them up. Like I have been doing.
I didn't mean any harm by it to anyone. It feels like a death metal song if nothing else.

This is what I used to first write. : / It feels weird to go back to that part of my life : /
You have gone through a lot :(
This is a good poem tho
 
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Releasing the demons in my head
suicidal thoughts are my new bed
a comfort I need to sleep forever too
I have been drinking too much negativity
and now I am addicted
hungover and leaning over a ledge
always on edge
like the knife tip in the moonlight glistening
never missing a beat
a darkness that never ends
mending a void of nothingness seems pointless
living a fantasy that is all I know
turning to a reality that isn't mine
the voices kill my mood
kill my happiness like a murder victim
always a victim to my own madness
my own sadness knows no limits
just want to bin myself like trash on the rebound
a lifeless corpse in the rain
the rain in my head never seems to leave
as I leave this world
as I leave this world
I could care less about being open as a book
when my mind is closed like a dark carnival
a dark mood is my new energy
a dark circumference is my realisation
the new me is the old me
and the old me is a lost cause
A reason to exist lessening
as I lessen the pain in my heart
I splatter like clothing tatter against the matter
what matters is death
and life is just an illusion

Note: I have been feeling shit over the past few weeks and this is what I made from it.
It's not supposed to be enjoyable. But just to reveal all the problems in my mind state and mentality : /

@vogue @kodoku @Lady_Grey @DrowningFishy @gayzone @Saythename17 @Jimmychimchim @Somi@Bookworm

I am in a good mood now. Just needed to release these thoughts, rather than bottle them up. Like I have been doing.
I didn't mean any harm by it to anyone. It feels like a death metal song if nothing else.

This is what I used to first write. : / It feels weird to go back to that part of my life : /
The poem is so sad but I appreciate your talents
 

_Enid_Sinclair_

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The poem is so sad but I appreciate your talents
Yeah. Been going through a lot on my own because I don't ask anyone for help.
I'd rather not and just deal with it in my own way.
 
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Really powerful. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much TT *big hugs*
 

_Enid_Sinclair_

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Really powerful. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much TT *big hugs*
Thanks bookworm <3 Yeah and it seems like it's not going to stop anytime soon.
I sometimes feel like giving up. But I know my friends will miss me here If I did.
 

yeji

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just glad you released it all
 

yeji

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yeji

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I have trust issues among other things preventing that most of the time. (slowly working on trusting people again though)... <3
that’s definitely good hun
 

_Enid_Sinclair_

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that’s definitely good hun
Mostly due to intense paranoia and just bad experiences with people.
Also why I don't really feel up to hanging with people or making friends much.
 

yeji

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Mostly due to intense paranoia and just bad experiences with people.
Also why I don't really feel up to hanging with people or making friends much.
yeah totally get it
 

yeji

❧@bulletproof is the noora to my eva
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I have more voices in my head these days than actual friends.
: /

I think I am going to be alone with them forever. :(
you won’t be alone forever
 

yeji

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