Yeah and broke my own at the same time, he forgave me eventually...
We dated for a year and 3 months.
I was emotionally complicated at the time (self harming, depression, dealing with my mothers schizophrenia, caring for my siblings etc) I didn't want to be a burden to him and bring him down especially when his career was just starting, but he wouldn't let me go..after numerous talks and telling him we couldnt do it anymore, him always convincing me we could make it work, when he could hardly see me without jeopardising his job. I purposely broke his heart and cheated on him so he could hate me so he would just let me go... He still wouldn't let me go though... He hated me for a bit but I think it was harder because he knew i had run out of options and I wanted him to have better than what I could give him at that time... First love and all...it hurt me alot to hurt him but it was the only answer at the time,
I always wondered if he would be okay, he was first person I ever trusted emotionally and loved but I didn't trust myself during that time to not ruin his life with my issues, (mainly having him watch me spiral, drink, cut.. Attempt suicide... Etc)
We are however still friends..., we still have a decent friendship, trusting but also distant.. Sometimes its hard to believe we dated 14 years ago as troubled teens and how far we have come, it wasn't all bad but our lives were really heavy for 16/17 year olds considering family issues and such..
We turned out okay as people tbh lol