Sensitive I just remembered something disturbing and can't forget it now (1 Viewer)

Suzy

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When I was 15, I moved to an all girls private (religious) school that my cousins and close family friends all attended. It was supposed to be the school that I was supposed to stay in until I graduated but I only ended up going there for 6 months before my mum forced us to move.

The reason was that one of my classmate's older brother (who was in his late 20s) came to pick up his sister once and saw me talking to one of the teachers (who was a mutual family friend of ours) outside the gates and asked her to speak to my mum and ask for my hand in marriage. The teacher told my mum that since I'm still young we can get married so that we can meet up without it affecting my reputation but we'll only move in together once I turn 18. She also told my mum that he came from a family with a good reputation and he had a good stable job so he would be able to take care of me. At the time, after I heard that I felt special that an older and reputable guy was interested in me. I remember telling my mum that I was even willing to meet him. However, my mum didn't like this situation at all and forced me to move schools and we ended up breaking all contact with that teacher too. We only ever met her like once again since then at my cousin's wedding but our relationship with her family had ended after that incident.

I never understood why my mum had reacted the way she did since at that time I thought it was a good thing and honestly liked that an older and more mature man thought I was pretty and wanted to marry me. I was 15. Having an older boyfriend at the time was cool. However now that I'm an adult, I can't help but feel disturbed by that situation. I can't believe that happened to me and I'm not surprised my mum transferred me right after that incident. Knowing my mum's personality, I'm surprised she even kept it that civil honestly.

It's interesting comparing my thoughts at 15 and 25 and realising how different my mindset is. Like at that age I thought I was mature and understood the world but looking back, I can't believe how immature I was. I was even angry at my mum for rejecting the guy without even letting me meet him.

And now I'm just really disturbed by this and can't forget it. What if my mum had agreed and let me meet him? How different would my life be now? I probably would have been a housewife with a few kids which is the exact opposite of my dreams right now. And I can't believe a teacher was the one who was trying to hook us up. She's a very respected member in our community too and everyone knows her.

I'm just so disgusted by this. I wasn't even out of high school yet and this guy had graduated uni years ago and had a full stable job and everything. Shouldn't this be considered pedophilia? I'm lucky that it was a religious environment so he never approached me by himself but instead asked the elders directly. I can't imagine what would have happened if he approached me himself, especially with the mindset I had as a child...
 
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Suzy

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I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this story. I'm just so disturbed and need to vent but it feels weird venting about this to my brothers... Like I have this weird lump in my throat now and my whole perception of that teacher is down the drain. My opinion of her was always positive but now I'm just so disgusted. I'm never going to be able to view her the same again. I honestly hope I never have to see her again.
 
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Yili

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I'm so glad that your mom refused to let you meet him. That situation is by all accounts extremely disturbing, whoever is willing to marry (i think a) a minor in their late 20s is some kind of screwed up human being.

But I don't think you ought to blame yourself for not seeing it sooner, when we're young it's hard for us to see things from certain perspectives I think it's just part of being young. As you grow up you begin to see the world differently, it's not your fault for not knowing that it was really creepy and wrong
 
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OnlyCalB

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I'm so pleased nothing came of this situation and that your mum protected you (naturally).
:sanapray:

It's disturbing for sure. But now you are hopefully living the life you want, and are fulfilling your dreams.
:saranghae:
 
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Suzy

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I'm so glad that your mom refused to let you meet him. That situation is by all accounts extremely disturbing, whoever is willing to marry (i think a) a minor in their late 20s is some kind of screwed up human being.

But I don't think you ought to blame yourself for not seeing it sooner, when we're young it's hard for us to see things from certain perspectives I think it's just part of being young. As you grow up you begin to see the world differently, it's not your fault for not knowing that it was really creepy and wrong
I think the fact that this teacher was so happy about match making me with him and made it feel like a normal occurrence is SO scary. It makes me wonder how many other students she hooked up with older men. I hope their parents reacted the same way mine did but judging by the community, I honestly doubt it. I mean, I had classmates who married right after they graduated high school and some even have 5-6 year old kids now even though they're still in their early 20s. Like I have absolutely NO issue with people marrying early, it just makes me wonder how old they were when they met their older partners...

But I can definitely see how much a person's entire mindset can change over a few years. Children are so vulnerable and naive. I'm lucky my mum wasn't influenced by anyone and stuck to what she believed. She married really young too to an older man (my dad was 29 and she was 19) and her experience wasn't good so she would have been scared of me having a similar life to her. Even though I was a dramatic kid, I'm glad she was so protective. I can't thank her enough.
 
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Suzy

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I'm so pleased nothing came of this situation and that your mum protected you (naturally).
:sanapray:

It's disturbing for sure. But now you are hopefully living the life you want, and are fulfilling your dreams.
:saranghae:
I'm really lucky in that regards. I'm living life doing everything I want now and achieving all my goals one by one. :pandalove:
 
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Yili

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I think the fact that this teacher was so happy about match making me with him and made it feel like a normal occurrence is SO scary. It makes me wonder how many other students she hooked up with older men. I hope their parents reacted the same way mine did but judging by the community, I honestly doubt it. I mean, I had classmates who married right after they graduated high school and some even have 5-6 year old kids now even though they're still in their early 20s. Like I have absolutely NO issue with people marrying early, it just makes me wonder how old they were when they met their older partners...

But I can definitely see how much a person's entire mindset can change over a few years. Children are so vulnerable and naive. I'm lucky my mum wasn't influenced by anyone and stuck to what she believed. She married really young too to an older man (my dad was 29 and she was 19) and her experience wasn't good so she would have been scared of me having a similar life to her. Even though I was a dramatic kid, I'm glad she was so protective. I can't thank her enough.
The teacher gives me horrible vibes, I don't know what makes someone want to do that to their students. Early marriage scares me too, I won't say it never works but most of the time I feel like it's a commitment that is too big to put on a young person that just graduated from highschool.

I really admire your mom for wanting the best for you and protecting you like that, she sounds amazing
 
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Suzy

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The teacher gives me horrible vibes, I don't know what makes someone want to do that to their students. Early marriage scares me too, I won't say it never works but most of the time I feel like it's a commitment that is too big to put on a young person that just graduated from highschool.

I really admire your mom for wanting the best for you and protecting you like that, she sounds amazing
She really is. Honestly my main dream in life is for her to be happy. She sacrificed so much for me and my siblings.
lol now I'm feeling emotional
 
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