Discussion Relationships Revealing Your Issues (2 Viewers)

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Is this a common thing?

I'm essentially in my first relationship and it's been about a year but being in one has really opened my eyes to some issues I have and that I need to work on. Like I knew I had problems but being with someone revealed a host more of them that can actually affect others and it's kind of mind-blowing and a little discouraging at the same tie.

Like for example, I used to pretend to be unbothered by things or at least make it seem like I was so I somehow made myself think that other's actions don't affect me that greatly or that much. But being with someone made me realize that I am SUPER sensitive and dramatic too and have a hard time sorting through feelings when something upsets me and then tend to overthink and worry about that incident too much when it's a simple fix or it's not even a LEGIT problem.

It's a REALLY taxing trait to have and hard to deal with and I can tell it is so I want to work on it. But before I got into a relationship, I didn't even realize it was a thing or if it was, it was something I only had to deal with-no one else.
 

Vipmulti

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I know how you feel.
Mine might be a different case from yours, but
My boyfriend (Er fiance now) and I were really close friends before dating, but when we actually started to date, we noticed small things that didn’t bother us when we were friends, but it became a nuisance when we got to know each other more.
like you I am super sensitive over things that do not mater, and I tend to dramatize things that shouldn’t be. However I tend to not talk about my feelings, but rather release it in anger with no explanation.

And my boyfriend who has a personality of polietness/peacemaker approached me with a sense of letting me do what I want and keeping his frustration to himself because it was idk how to explain like unpolite (?) to lash out and say his feelings.

Over the years we learned that talking out our feelings to each other is the best way to go through, and by giving small signals to each other when things are over the top to either of us.

I’m sure that if you’re willing to change, it’s good, but make sure to talk it out with your partner as you go, or you or your partner might end up misunderstanding each other. Congrats on a one year anniversary grace :)
 

Petra_the_Poetic

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Don't really know. Never been in a real relationship before. They were mostly flings if nothing else.
Or they felt like flings anyways. :( Some people just don't know what they are missing out on I guess?

Been single for far too long and I feel like it's never going to change for me anytime soon.
The world is a harsh mistress indeed.
 

Gogije

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I think it's normal if you're inexperienced with relationships that you'll find out more about yourself because of it since you will not only think more about your actions and the consequences they might have but also you have someone else to notice them too.
 

vogue

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I think you are appealing the truth. A lot influences us and we definitely can learn a lot about our self with how our relationship with others are
 

kodoku

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being on your own is tough, being with someone else is too. Dealing with just you is hard enough, but then you gotta worry about the other person too..... so naturally, a lot of issues arise.. that's why they say to make it so you're fine on your own first before being with someone else
 

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