Sensitive Exhausted (CW: transphobia) (1 Viewer)

[Hoemantic]

Sorry for this thread I need to let it out somewhere.
I'm so tired...

Today I basically revealed at work I'm trans and when I got home
I wanted to share the experience to my mom but instead of being proud
of me she proceeded to complain saying that I am confusing her and everyone
around me. ''I thought you didn't want to transition''. Basically in her head, you aren't
really trans if you didn't transition (surgery and all). Even when I tell her I don't feel like
transitioning because I'm already super passing (I'm very androgynous and flat chested luckily)
she continues to deny me. When I told her about how I found the Bi-gender
label and thought it suited me better, to be both he/him and they/them,
she said '''I don't understand this whole they/them thing. I'm okay with she/her and he/him
but not they/they. Yes, she literally invalidated me in my face and without a single tone of
regret in her voice. I thought she was someone supportive but more I become myself and more
I become confident with who I am, more she becomes a bigot. Looks like
I was right to worry about how she was ''supportive'' but would never use the
right pronouns with me ever, not even when we are alone together.

My life is literal shit these days, I can't have a break...​

 

[Kamistar]

I'm very sorry, some parents don't have the skills to be parents and still have kids :/
Maybe she doesn't understand how much it hurts you but yeah, it's your mom, she should understand and listen when you explain :(
Is it a new/recent thing to her or have you already explained how you feel in other moments?

 

[scaramouche]

Sorry for this thread I need to let it out somewhere.
I'm so tired...

Today I basically revealed at work I'm trans and when I got home
I wanted to share the experience to my mom but instead of being proud
of me she proceeded to complain saying that I am confusing her and everyone
around me. ''I thought you didn't want to transition''. Basically in her head, you aren't
really trans if you didn't transition (surgery and all). Even when I tell her I don't feel like
transitioning because I'm already super passing (I'm very androgynous and flat chested luckily)
she continues to deny me. When I told her about how I found the Bi-gender
label and thought it suited me better, to be both he/him and they/them,
she said '''I don't understand this whole they/them thing. I'm okay with she/her and he/him
but not they/they. Yes, she literally invalidated me in my face and without a single tone of
regret in her voice. I thought she was someone supportive but more I become myself and more
I become confident with who I am, more she becomes a bigot. Looks like
I was right to worry about how she was ''supportive'' but would never use the
right pronouns with me ever, not even when we are alone together.

My life is literal shit these days, I can't have a break...​

that is utterly shitty i hope you're okay
i know exactly how you feel and it fucking sucks, parents should not act that whether it be their child or someone elses. if you ever need to talk im always open and like @Goldenstar said she probably doesn't realize how much it hurts and imo, you shouldn't let it bother you too bad, i know its easier said than done and i mean, i still struggle with it, but when things like that happen write it and throw the paper away. this is an exercise my counselor is making me do and it actually helps...

im not trying to tell you what to do i promise, its just exercises like that help with emotions
and i hope you feel better

 

[Hoemantic]

Is it a new/recent thing to her

Spoiler: kinda oversharing but it's needed?

Last Winter, I came out as trans to her. She told me she already had a feeling because I changed my name to a masculine one when I was 16 and ever since my whole appearance changed drastically because I was finally comfortable to be myself. I was always androgynous but the fact I'd go in public with my mom and people assumed I was a guy and I wasn't uncomfortable about it was a huge hint. I think I came out to her as bisexual around 18 (at first, I'm actually pan) and she was completely fine with it. She kinda knew it already anyway, I dropped hints here and there. So it's just weird how she was supportive and now suddenly she says all those shitty things to me.

 

[athenaaa]

This is very frustrating and sorry you have to go through this with someone you thought was supportive. Idk if it helps to disclose but I get how you feel in a sense. Although my dad was always unsupportive he says comments like “I don’t get the whole they/them thing” and “your gender is whats between your legs”

 

[Kamistar]

Spoiler: kinda oversharing but it's needed?

Last Winter, I came out as trans to her. She told me she already had a feeling because I changed my name to a masculine one when I was 16 and ever since my whole appearance changed drastically because I was finally comfortable to be myself. I was always androgynous but the fact I'd go in public with my mom and people assumed I was a guy and I wasn't uncomfortable about it was a huge hint. I think I came out to her as bisexual around 18 (at first, I'm actually pan) and she was completely fine with it. She kinda knew it already anyway, I dropped hints here and there. So it's just weird how she was supportive and now suddenly she says all those shitty things to me.

Oh damn, she seemed to be open for it before :/ Do you think someone is influecing her? What obviously would be no excuse since you're her kid so ofc you and how you feel come first

 

[Hoemantic]

This is very frustrating and sorry you have to go through this with someone you thought was supportive. Idk if it helps to disclose but I get how you feel in a sense. Although my dad was always unsupportive he says comments like “I don’t get the whole they/them thing” and “your gender is whats between your legs”

Your dad is a vile being

Let's run away and live together shall we

 

[athenaaa]

Your dad is a vile being

Let's run away and live together shall we

Well I am looking for an apartment for next semester 🤔

 

[Hoemantic]

Oh damn, she seemed to be open for it before :/ Do you think someone is influecing her? What obviously would be no excuse since you're her kid so ofc you and how you feel come first

I have no idea what's up with her and I don't wanna know. Suddenly thankful she's kicking me out, I won't see her face ever again....

 

[Soogi]

aw im sorry... as someone who is not trans i feel like it's not my place to give advice or input, since i cant relate to your struggles i dont wanna risk putting you in a bad situation, but for what its worth you're absolutely valid and i hope your mom learns to fully embrace who you are. also ! im proud of you for speaking about it at work, that takes a lot of courage

 

[Hoemantic]

Well I am looking for an apartment for next semester 🤔

That would be sick honestly, finally some motivation to save for a car LMAO

let's be the sickest roommates

 

[athenaaa]

That would be sick honestly, finally some motivation to save for a car LMAO

let's be the sickest roommates

Fr if you’re serious I’d love to be roommates. I’m looking to find a place in that near city to me for January

 

[Hoemantic]

aw im sorry... as someone who is not trans i feel like it's not my place to give advice or input, since i cant relate to your struggles i dont wanna risk putting you in a bad situation, but for what its worth you're absolutely valid and i hope your mom learns to fully embrace who you are. also ! im proud of you for speaking about it at work, that takes a lot of courage

Thank you, those are kind words.

If you wish you can still say what you want to me, I don't get offend easily (unless you are my mom lol)

 

[Hoemantic]

Fr if you’re serious I’d love to be roommates. I’m looking to find a place in that near city to me for January

I'd be down, I got nowhere to go anyway and the salary is higher in that province

 

[athenaaa]

I'd be down, I got nowhere to go anyway and the salary is higher in that province

Now this gives me more motivation to look for a place!

 

[Hoemantic]

Now this gives me more motivation to look for a place!

My only plan is to move with Dylan but it's unrealistic right now since he's literally in a different country and we both still have things to accomplish before this ever happens so... yeah I got nowhere to go beside with you if we make it happen.

 

[athenaaa]

My only plan is to move with Dylan but it's unrealistic right now since he's literally in a different country and we both still have things to accomplish before this ever happens so... yeah I got nowhere to go beside with you if we make it happen.

I have nowhere to really go until I’m done school besides on my own, or now rooming with you. Like I wanna eventually live with Vik but realistically I need to finish school first which is another three years

 

[Hoemantic]

I have nowhere to really go until I’m done school besides on my own, or now rooming with you. Like I wanna eventually live with Vik but realistically I need to finish school first which is another three years

Sounds like a plan. Also pretty sure Dylan will end up living in Canada, living conditions are way better than the US

 

[athenaaa]

Sounds like a plan. Also pretty sure Dylan will end up living in Canada, living conditions are way better than the US

Yeah we’ve talked about staying in Canada too but nothings for sure set in stone so idk. We’ll get to it when it comes to it. I just need to figure out for January lol

 

[Hoemantic]

Yeah we’ve talked about staying in Canada too but nothings for sure set in stone so idk. We’ll get to it when it comes to it. I just need to figure out for January lol

I love how this went from a venting thread to us planning moving out together LMFAOGSJFHSKGJH