I need advice (1 Viewer)

[won_young]

So, me and my one friend had taken a break because this one girl didn't like me and controlled her, were friends again I'll call my friend A and the girl R. I found out R is talking about me and saying I did all the rude stuff like taking her friends 3 years ago, and in 8th grade a year ago I took her friends and talked about her. I didn't even talk or remember about R during 8th grade. I'm going to confront her tomorrow but I don't know how to approach her, I think it's her having some grudge against me and not letting go because I'm very kind. A had said and sent ss of her talking about me saying I'm manipulative etc.. because I had texted A over break and apologized to her and she said to ignore her. R has been telling A to not hangout with me or to not talk to me again but A and me have been super close since 8th grade and neither of us talked about her.

HELP!!

 

[Horizonshard]

I wouldn't confront R at all. That hardly ever helps anything.

If you and Friend A are good, then it doesn't matter what R is saying. If that's not the case, then you need to talk to A, not to R.

That's where I think your energy needs to go. Working through whatever potential problems you have with Friend A. Especially if you value her friendship enough to keep trying for it.

 

[won_young]

I wouldn't confront R at all. That hardly ever helps anything.

If you and Friend A are good, then it doesn't matter what R is saying. If that's not the case, then you need to talk to A, not to R.

That's where I think your energy needs to go. Working through whatever potential problems you have with Friend A. Especially if you value her friendship enough to keep trying for it.

Me and A have worked through it but I just feel like a whole group of people hate me for no reason and I don't like the way R is treating A and A feels stuck, I'm so lost but at the same time very mad and upset because people may not like me but lying and spreading rumors isn't something I'm used to. Me and A have been talking about it because I want to clear up the whole me being rude and apologize if I did do something, I just got very upset and in the rage of the moment said I was going to

 

[won_young]

UPDATE: A and me are texting and A is saying R is acting even more controlling and making A Uncomfortable but if A mentions it R gets mad? I really want to help my friend but don't know how

 

[Horizonshard]

Me and A have worked through it but I just feel like a whole group of people hate me for no reason and I don't like the way R is treating A and A feels stuck, I'm so lost but at the same time very mad and upset because people may not like me but lying and spreading rumors isn't something I'm used to. Me and A have been talking about it because I want to clear up the whole me being rude and apologize if I did do something, I just got very upset and in the rage of the moment said I was going to

I still don't think lashing out at R is the right thing to do. If A is having trouble with R, she needs to work through it. Your job, as her friend, is to be there for her and support her.

You lashing out at R might make all those lies and rumors worse. You'll be seen as the aggressor. Who cares what she says about you? You know it's not true. Your real friends know it's not true. Anyone that blindly believes R over you (or believes R without even talking to you) is, in my opinion, not worth knowing.

Be there for your friend, help her, support her, be the person she can talk to, the shoulder she can cry on. That's what I think is the best things to do.

 

[won_young]

I still don't think lashing out at R is the right thing to do. If A is having trouble with R, she needs to work through it. Your job, as her friend, is to be there for her and support her.

You lashing out at R might make all those lies and rumors worse. You'll be seen as the aggressor. Who cares what she says about you? You know it's not true. Your real friends know it's not true. Anyone that blindly believes R over you (or believes R without even talking to you) is, in my opinion, not worth knowing.

Be there for your friend, help her, support her, be the person she can talk to, the shoulder she can cry on. That's what I think is the best things to do.

Thank you, this really helped :)

 

[Myth]

UPDATE: A and me are texting and A is saying R is acting even more controlling and making A Uncomfortable but if A mentions it R gets mad? I really want to help my friend but don't know how

What does A want out of this? I don’t think R can be reasoned with so it might be a lost cause.

If it doesn’t end up working out, step back, take a deep breath, and try to not think about it or get worked up. Some people can never be reasoned with and the best you can do, is to focus on yourself and not waste energy on it. I do understand that it’s frustrating to be embroiled in bad rumors. I’ve been there. Paranoid cold because I was so scared of what people thought of me because I felt alone, but the truth is, I’m not and neither are you. Like horizon said, your true friends will believe in you and their the ones who are worth it.

 

[MK3AM]

So, me and my one friend had taken a break because this one girl didn't like me and controlled her, were friends again I'll call my friend A and the girl R. I found out R is talking about me and saying I did all the rude stuff like taking her friends 3 years ago, and in 8th grade a year ago I took her friends and talked about her. I didn't even talk or remember about R during 8th grade. I'm going to confront her tomorrow but I don't know how to approach her, I think it's her having some grudge against me and not letting go because I'm very kind. A had said and sent ss of her talking about me saying I'm manipulative etc.. because I had texted A over break and apologized to her and she said to ignore her. R has been telling A to not hangout with me or to not talk to me again but A and me have been super close since 8th grade and neither of us talked about her.

HELP!!

I'm going say this DO NOT CONFRONT HER I've been a situation kinda like this and my "friends" confronted me it just made so much more drama it really isn't worth it and if A is a real friend she will know and hopefully wont be blinded

UPDATE: A and me are texting and A is saying R is acting even more controlling and making A Uncomfortable but if A mentions it R gets mad? I really want to help my friend but don't know how

tell A to drop her and BLOCK HER and if R still isn't understanding Counsel office/ APs it really isn't good to be in a friendship like that its draining...