Something to give off my chest (1 Viewer)

[pinkmelodies]

It's kind of embarrassing to admit given my age but I honestly don't have my sense of independence. I grew up very sheltered since my mom is overprotective. It's kind of something that has been weighing on me more recently and it's mentally tiring. If you can relate maybe you can share your way of dealing with it

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

Well tbh. I am in my late twenties and I still feel like I have no clue whats going on-I mean I'm in college, again and not able to live on my own because of the shit economy and juggling work with schooling. I still feel like I'm a college student back in my early 20's I don't feel like I'm almost 30 at all....it's weird.

Not to mention I can say I became an assistant manager before my 30s which I think is dope but I still feel like a child because I'm starting back at ground zero by getting an entry-level job in the hopes to move forward and upward with my education I'm earning now.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

It's kind of embarrassing to admit given my age but I honestly don't have my sense of independence. I grew up very sheltered since my mom is overprotective. It's kind of something that has been weighing on me more recently and it's mentally tiring. If you can relate maybe you can share your way of dealing with it

You'll be ok. Independence isn't something you actually learn. It's a decision that causes you to experience independence. Tons of people grew up crazy shelted, rich, silver spoon type stuff. Then life happens, some ended up homeless or worse. Walked across war zones, fought wars. Independence is nothing more than making the decision that no matter what happens, I'm going to survive. Your not alone in your feelings either. I've been married, had my own apartment. I'm now living back at home in my mothers basement. I even have those feelings.

 

[Belgizen]

We're similar in age and I felt the same way.
Almost a year ago, I made the big jump and moved out on my own.
It's helped me a lot
I've also been on holiday alone

 

[athenaaa]

I still live with my parents, and honestly I don’t know how to function on my own. It’s confusing. I lived a year in dorms and made poor life decisions. I am 22 for context. I have no clue what I am doing with my life in all honesty

 

[pinkmelodies]

Well tbh. I am in my late twenties and I still feel like I have no clue whats going on-I mean I'm in college, again and not able to live on my own because of the shit economy and juggling work with schooling. I still feel like I'm a college student back in my early 20's I don't feel like I'm almost 30 at all....it's weird.

Not to mention I can say I became an assistant manager before my 30s which I think is dope but I still feel like a child because I'm starting back at ground zero by getting an entry-level job in the hopes to move forward and upward with my education I'm earning now.

I'm so with you in the having no clue what's going on and not feeling like your age. If it helps I'm also learning that at any age going back to school is great!! I always feel like society has put these specific timeliness on life that makes us overthink where we should be in life which makes me overthink a lot

 

[pinkmelodies]

You'll be ok. Independence isn't something you actually learn. It's a decision that causes you to experience independence. Tons of people grew up crazy shelted, rich, silver spoon type stuff. Then life happens, some ended up homeless or worse. Walked across war zones, fought wars. Independence is nothing more than making the decision that no matter what happens, I'm going to survive. Your not alone in your feelings either. I've been married, had my own apartment. I'm now living back at home in my mothers basement. I even have those feelings.

Wow thank you giving this perspective. I always thought of independence as something you need at a certain age so your insight helped a lot. Glad I'm not alone with my feelings either lol

 

[pinkmelodies]

We're similar in age and I felt the same way.
Almost a year ago, I made the big jump and moved out on my own.
It's helped me a lot
I've also been on holiday alone

That's amazing!! So happy you were able to move out. Honestly that's all I've been thinking about but I'm not supported in any way with this decision. Hopefully things can change soon though

 

[Magician]

I also have pretty overprotective parents (and grandparents lol), but moved out when I started college, without telling my family.
That was the first time I had to manage my own finances, cook and clean for myself and learn basic home maintenance.

A short time later, I moved to another country on my own and this was honestly the best decision I have made so far.
It's not always easy and there are times when I struggle, but you learn how to overcome even the most difficult times.

 

[The_LastRomeo]

I'm pretty scared of being on my own, I never went to school or had friends, all I know is that the world is scary. all the info about the world I know from my dad who says the world is a scary place, so I'm nervous of finally being my own person. Tho personally I feel he is just trying to scare me into staying home with them

 

[pinkmelodies]

I still live with my parents, and honestly I don’t know how to function on my own. It’s confusing. I lived a year in dorms and made poor life decisions. I am 22 for context. I have no clue what I am doing with my life in all honesty

I have no clue either. I'm glad we can relate on that. Since I just turned 25 it's really hitting me how I'm lacking in life experience. It's such a confusing time

 

[Tickita]

Yes, yes, yes. Pushing 30 but I feel 19. At this point I tend to wonder if older adults are bullshitting their way though life too.

 

[Belgizen]

That's amazing!! So happy you were able to move out. Honestly that's all I've been thinking about but I'm not supported in any way with this decision. Hopefully things can change soon though

I really really hope it changes for you!
They can't let you live with them forever.

 

[pinkmelodies]

I also have pretty overprotective parents (and grandparents lol), but moved out when I started college, without telling my family.
That was the first time I had to manage my own finances, cook and clean for myself and learn basic home maintenance.

A short time later, I moved to another country on my own and this was honestly the best decision I have made so far.
It's not always easy and there are times when I struggle, but you learn how to overcome even the most difficult times.

Wow I wish I can just move out like that. That's amazing to do that, especially moving to another country. You can definitely feel more independent through your experience

 

[athenaaa]

I have no clue either. I'm glad we can relate on that. Since I just turned 25 it's really hitting me how I'm lacking in life experience. It's such a confusing time

I think it helps to know that you’re not alone

 

[Pirioca]

I'm pretty scared of being on my own, I never went to school or had friends, all I know is that the world is scary. all the info about the world I know from my dad who says the world is a scary place, so I'm nervous of finally being my own person. Tho personally I feel he is just trying to scare me into staying home with them

Stop letting others create your worldview. Based on his experiences your dad might think that the world is a scary place. But you don't live the life of your dad.

People are often scared about things they don't understand. My mother was scared about computers until I told her how she can play games with it. Now she loves using the PC, she surfs the web and watches YouTube videos. But without the first step into the unknown she would still believe that computers are scary. And she would miss all the fun she has now.

Based on my experiences (I'm no one, but I live on this planet since a while) the world is an absolut amazing place, but from time to time you need to step into the unknown to make progress.

You never went to school? But it seems you already learned the most important thing: you can read. When you can read books, you can be on your own. All you need to know has been written down somewhere. Never underestimate the power of books in your life.

 

[Hoemantic]

I'm 25 years old and still live with my mother. I wish I could move out but with the current economy and housing prices it's almost impossible. I pay her a little rent and help her around the house but she told me I can stay as long as I need to until I can finally move out with someone. I moved out once before for a short time but personal problems happened and I had to go back. I guess I tasted independence for a little bit. I don't really have a way with dealing with it beside doing my best to not compare myself to others. I have no shame for still living with my mom, my life path is simply different from others and that's okay! When it comes to personal space I'm lucky that my mom respects it when I need it but it does get tiring to live with parents eventually.

 

[SnowWhite]

I gave this a lot of thought, tbh it doesnt have much to do with living away from your parents. One can be living with mom and dad their whole life but know how to handle sh*t, on the other hand I have been living abroad for almost 2 years now and most of the time i have no idea what im doing. I dont know how to handle expenses, and i mostly eat at university canteen but on weekends when its off, i dont even set decent amount of time to cook. I usually run away from home early in the morning and comeback after midnight. Its such a weird concept. Uusally I end up being productive away from home. I study in groups (im a medical student which requires a lot of work) with friends, I go to the gym, but when I reach home, I fall into pieces. I cant clean my room for weeks, there are unwashed dishes, the laundry is left...

I dont think 25 is old at all, or late to learn independence. It also does have to do with culture a lot of times. Many people dont rly get independent before marriage where I come from. In my case I just left the country, so i have to become independent, and i think i have so much work to do before i am.

 

[pinkmelodies]

I'm 25 years old and still live with my mother. I wish I could move out but with the current economy and housing prices it's almost impossible. I pay her a little rent and help her around the house but she told me I can stay as long as I need to until I can finally move out with someone. I moved out once before for a short time but personal problems happened and I had to go back. I guess I tasted independence for a little bit. I don't really have a way with dealing with it beside doing my best to not compare myself to others. I have no shame for still living with my mom, my life path is simply different from others and that's okay! When it comes to personal space I'm lucky that my mom respects it when I need it but it does get tiring to live with parents eventually.

I can't believe we have the exact same scenario. Except for the respecting my space part and I have to live with sisters as well lol. I always want to feel no shame for still living with my mom because I am so grateful for her and love her, but as you mentioned comparing myself is what gets me to overthink. Thank you for sharing this!!

 

[Selfmate]

the question isn't about living with one's parents in this day and age and with housing becoming so expensive it's perfectly acceptable to do so

the question is what are you (the individual adult) doing to change/rectify the situation?

do you share the chores equally? do you contribute to the household expenses equally? etc etc