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Since "It's just not fair" depends on examples in which someone else has more of something good,
a counterexample will be any way that the other person has less of something good (or more of something bad).
"It's just not fair˜ that he doesn't stan clc", "that she is poor, and I'm not," etc. Whenever I fall
into thinking that life is not fair, I use this as an internal mantra, filling in whatever convenient content I see around me.
To summarize this pattern:
1. Identify a belief or other statement that is problematic˜that leads you or someone else into feelings,
responses or behaviors that make them, or someone else, unhappy.
2. Identify content that constitutes a counterexample to the content typically processed by the generalization.
3. Package the counterexample content in the same linguistic form as if it were an example of the generalization.
For those who might be curious to know more about how we get lost in generalizations like "It's just not
fair," let's take a closer look. There are only four words˜or five, really, since the full statement is "It is just not fair."
"It's" or "it is" is the familiar "lost performative." The person making the statement is lost, and the object of the statement is also missing.
Expanding "It's" into its full meaning, we get "I'm saying it's not fair to me." Of course the "it" is not specified, but that is usually clear by the context,
or specified by statements that precede or follow the "It's not fair." The "is" also specifies that a belief, in the form of a complex equivalence, is present.
(It = not fair.)
"It" is some event or condition, while "not fair" is the meaning attributed to it, joined by "is," which is equivalent to "equals."
"Is" is also the word we use to describe being or fact (in contrast to appearance or opinion). When we say "That is a cat," it carries the implication of incontrovertible fact, not to be questioned. When a single word has many meanings like this, it is said to be "semantically packed," because so many meanings are packed into it.
Usually most of the many meanings are processed unconsciously, and the person responds to most of them largely unconsciously.
"Fair" is also a semantically-packed word. My dictionary lists the following meanings: "light, pleasing, beautiful, free from stain or blemish, open, frank, honest, equal, just, reasonable, equitable, good, unobstructed, smooth, even, according to the rules, frank, candid, characterized by favorable conditions, clear and sunny."
a counterexample will be any way that the other person has less of something good (or more of something bad).
"It's just not fair˜ that he doesn't stan clc", "that she is poor, and I'm not," etc. Whenever I fall
into thinking that life is not fair, I use this as an internal mantra, filling in whatever convenient content I see around me.
To summarize this pattern:
1. Identify a belief or other statement that is problematic˜that leads you or someone else into feelings,
responses or behaviors that make them, or someone else, unhappy.
2. Identify content that constitutes a counterexample to the content typically processed by the generalization.
3. Package the counterexample content in the same linguistic form as if it were an example of the generalization.
For those who might be curious to know more about how we get lost in generalizations like "It's just not
fair," let's take a closer look. There are only four words˜or five, really, since the full statement is "It is just not fair."
"It's" or "it is" is the familiar "lost performative." The person making the statement is lost, and the object of the statement is also missing.
Expanding "It's" into its full meaning, we get "I'm saying it's not fair to me." Of course the "it" is not specified, but that is usually clear by the context,
or specified by statements that precede or follow the "It's not fair." The "is" also specifies that a belief, in the form of a complex equivalence, is present.
(It = not fair.)
"It" is some event or condition, while "not fair" is the meaning attributed to it, joined by "is," which is equivalent to "equals."
"Is" is also the word we use to describe being or fact (in contrast to appearance or opinion). When we say "That is a cat," it carries the implication of incontrovertible fact, not to be questioned. When a single word has many meanings like this, it is said to be "semantically packed," because so many meanings are packed into it.
Usually most of the many meanings are processed unconsciously, and the person responds to most of them largely unconsciously.
"Fair" is also a semantically-packed word. My dictionary lists the following meanings: "light, pleasing, beautiful, free from stain or blemish, open, frank, honest, equal, just, reasonable, equitable, good, unobstructed, smooth, even, according to the rules, frank, candid, characterized by favorable conditions, clear and sunny."
Steve Andreas Home
Steve Andreas, with his wife Connirae, has been learning, teaching, and developing patterns in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Since 1977. Steve is the author of a number of NLP books and articles and has produced many videotapes and audiotaped demonstrations of specific NLP patterns for...
steveandreas.com
