Sensitive today is Jonghyun's birthday. (1 Viewer)

inverity · 8 April 2020

Since he is 30 today, I thought it would be appropiate to share some of my thoughts and a poem.

I first learned of SHINee and Jjong because he released "She Is" in summer 2016, I believe. I spent the entire summer listening to the song. I liked his pink hair and I loved listening to him sing. it was clear he was very talented.

I love his voice, his lyricism and his outspokeness, especially in a country that values conformity. He is one of the greatest idols I've ever known. I am always appreciative of the fact that I know of him and his work for 2 years. And of course, I miss him everyday.

So to that, I say: You did well, Jonghyun. I am so sorry.
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Here are some of his own words, from the song "before our spring".

before spring comes, before it gets warm, should we meet once. before it gets bright, when everyone is asleep, let’s meet for sure. truthfully i like to gaze at you, i like to look over you. to look at you smiling. it’s comfortable for me to just look over you. even though it sounds like a fool’s words i’m scared to go in front of you. even if you say you can’t understand me now, it’s okay. it’s okay because there’s still a lot of time left ‘til spring comes.

and here is my own poem, written the day after his passing.

i do not know how i will live with this hole in my heart
how can such a stellar object-my constellations and hope- can cause such a black hole without going supernova
the gentlest, most beautiful thing
it tugs at me and i do not know if i can bear it
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