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This was kind fo my homework for therapy.
Does this make you feel something or put you in my shoes by chance???
Should probably preface this with a TW: Anxiety
The way it feels? Does this make you feel something or put you in my shoes by chance???
Should probably preface this with a TW: Anxiety
It’s like I’m going up the tallest hill on a rollercoaster ride. Everything in my body clenches and tightens, sometimes enough to elicit pain. Sharpness that shoots through my chest and heart. This feeling that a giant fist has wrapped itself around my torso and is just squeezing mercilessly, butterflies that reside there do everything they can to escape. They pound against the walls trying to get air, but they can’t and their beating gets more frantic. My stomach drops, everything in it curdles.
My throat muscles tighten, like a screwdriver driving a screw in further and further until it can’t be pulled free. Words fail or come out in a rush, scared that they’ll be cut off and silenced for good. Or the words are already trapped like the butterflies and they sit stagnant in my throat making me choke. It feels like air has left me and I can’t get it any longer.
My fingers fidget, my lips follow suit. Ripping and tearing at my skin, wanting to occupy themselves with something they can do. So they can destroy.
While my brain runs around in circles. This overwhelming dread and inability to function properly to stop the word vomit spewing from my bleeding lips. This anger and disgust as well as disappointment at my inability to function like a normal person. It’s physical pain and mental torture. That’s how I experience my anxiety and it keeps going and going until I shut down, I go numb, everything drains but still stays. I just want to disappear.
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