Aww Channie don't doubt yourself okay? messing things up is the most human thing you can do and sometimes messing things up can lead to good things. Focus on what has most priority and start ticking boxes. You can use Microsoft To Do if that helps. It's a planner and you can tik off boxes for...
I'm sorry I really don't mean to pry but are you really okay? Maybe I'm overthinking but you seem very tired/sad/fed up with something. If I can do anything for you let me know
Really I'd buy a plane ticket if I had to.
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