A question for those who live without parents... (1 Viewer)

[SnowWhite]

When does it ever get normal? It has been 2 years for me. Rather than becoming more regular, I miss them actually more rn and suddenly cry because i miss them. I saw them and my sister this summer but that actually messed me up even more. I be sitting here and crying and worse is i cant even tell them because they will worry.

 

[Tickita]

Normal as in used to not seeing them everyday?

I adjusted quickly. But that might just be me, considering I lived in the dorms during college.

What do you miss about them, and are you too far away to see them often?

 

[Nina]

It's different for everyone. I left my parents at 15 but I lived with my uncle so ig there was some transition. I spent my summers with them while I was still a student but I started to feel like I needed to get away after a week of being around them. They get overwhelming

I always missing their cooking tho.

Sometimes being far from your fam isn't for everyone. Have you thought of moving back? We do things to better ourselves and we move to different places to benefit our future but is it worth it if it starts to take a mental toll?

 

[SnowWhite]

Normal as in used to not seeing them everyday?

I adjusted quickly. But that might just be me, considering I lived in the dorms during college.

What do you miss about them, and are you too far away to see them often?

When I was living with them I was dying to move out actually. They are in Asia and im studying in Italy. I usually go back each summer for a month or so but I just miss hugging them or sitting by their side and talking.

I dont rly come from a culture where moving out is common, even after marriage most kids usually settle in the same city or somewhere close to their parents. And even my classmates in Italy seem about the same. They may be studying in another city but go back weekends and Italians in general are very family oriented so that might be adding to me feeling blue. I am guessing if I was in the US more young ppl would be living very far from their family and I would get used to it easier.

 

[SnowWhite]

It's different for everyone. I left my parents at 15 but I lived with my uncle so ig there was some transition. I spent my summers with them while I was still a student but I started to feel like I needed to get away after a week of being around them. They get overwhelming

I always missing their cooking tho.

Sometimes being far from your fam isn't for everyone. Have you thought of moving back? We do things to better ourselves and we move to different places to benefit our future but is it worth it if it starts to take a mental toll?

15 still seems very young to be away from parents. I used to go back and forth from college dorm to my city to see them because i missed them when i was 19. Then COVID hit and i was praying to everything that exists that i need to get away and living with family past 18 just drives one crazy. And well, I reached that "dream" in 2022 but now i am in this situation which I explained. My course is 6 years in general and i am done with 2 (its medicine hence the length) so maybe when I graduate if i didnt feel any better i will go back there to find a job.

 

[Nina]

15 still seems very young to be away from parents. I used to go back and forth from college dorm to my city to see them because i missed them when i was 19. Then COVID hit and i was praying to everything that exists that i need to get away and living with family past 18 just drives one crazy. And well, I reached that "dream" in 2022 but now i am in this situation which I explained. My course is 6 years in general and i am done with 2 (its medicine hence the length) so maybe when I graduate if i didnt feel any better i will go back there to find a job.

Around 13 -14 my family was moving around a lot. When we settled, the new location and school was really affecting me negatively so I begged to live with my uncle where we originally lived and finished school there.

Your distance is much farther that I thought so I understand now. It's not a simple car ride or even a 2 hour flight away. :(
Have you made any friends you can rely on when you're feeling down? Be open with your sister about missing the family. Bottling it might make it worse. They're probably already worried with you being far. Talking it out with someone could help. Maybe one of them might plan a trip to you.

 

[Magician]

I also moved to another country a few years ago and here is what helped me:
I tried to stop seeing myself as a 'guest' in my new home country. I live there now, so I did my best to learn the language and found new friends through work and clubs I joined
I tried many new activities and explored the country whenever I had enough free time

I live here for almost five years , so I will probably stay here for a bit longer haha

Moving abroad always sounds like a fairy tale, but it's definitely not something for everyone and that's okay.

 

[ani07]

to my defense, my parents live just 2min away from me, but I dont really see them and I dont miss them tbh.
I was really happy when I moved out and NOT see them actually, but I never had a close relationship with them to begin with so I cant relate to your situation.

I have phone calls with them more than I see tham actually.

 

[SnowWhite]

I live there now, so I did my best to learn the language and found new friends through work and clubs I joined

It would be very odd to me if someone moves somewhere and doesnt know or try to learn the language tbh. But even so I need to make more time meet actual locals rather than sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself. I have a lot of studies yea, but still.