a rant about happiness :) (1 Viewer)

[kodoku]

I really wish people would stop with this happiness and smiling bullcrap....... even though I'm a person who always tries my best for others regardless of how crappily they treat me, so many times people have told me I look sad/angry/whatever and told me to smile and literally said that I HAVE to be happy (not in the way that they wish me happiness, but literally ordering me to be happy).. do you think that's how it works lol wtf?? I'm trying my best, just stop it. I don't need to be pressured and be forced to pretend to be happy by people who are just as messed up. Stop looking at me and fix yourself first.. seriously, these days so many people suffer from mental illness and even without that, even for perfectly healthy people life isn't easy..... but everyone is pretending to be happier than they are because being miserable is seen as something shameful.. not letting yourself or others feel it, not talking about it does not help anyone and actually makes it all worse. I don't know if I even know any happy people for real, maybe I know of a few but most people I know are not only unhappy but actually screwed up and need to make others miserable to feel better about themselves.. I hate this fake happiness that people create and bully you with, in the media, in our demented society, and so on.. how can you criticize someone for not being able to smile one day when they usually always do? I always smile and am nice to everyone when I don't feel like smiling most of the time, and then for just one day every now and then you don't have the energy to fake it, and people destroy you for it. The hell is even happiness and how many people in this world are actually happy? maybe it's just my world but that's all I've known, so just leave me alone. People literally lose their lives because they believe they are a failure who couldn't be happy when everyone else manages to and because they are ashamed of their struggle and cannot speak up....... so much for "you're not alone, just ask for help" and all the other nonsense people like to throw around without actually meaning it

so yea, sorry..

 

[spicy_illusion]

I agree with this! I hate the fake bullshit people put on just to please others. Happiness should come from within, not forced just because it would make someone else uncomfortable. If it does make that person uncomfortable, then they are obviously not happy themselves.
Right now, I am genuinely happy as I can see myself going places and achieving big things in my life, and when I do that, I will also be in a position to help others, so that's what makes me happy, although there are times when I am not happy and still have to let it out as I can't fake it.
I hope you are ok and please don't pay any attention to those people who tell you that you have to be happy, yet they have a fake smile themselves and just be you. Be happy when you are genuinely happy because that is what will actually make you happy.

 

[kodoku]

I agree with this! I hate the fake bullshit people put on just to please others. Happiness should come from within, not forced just because it would make someone else uncomfortable. If it does make that person uncomfortable, then they are obviously not happy themselves.
Right now, I am genuinely happy as I can see myself going places and achieving big things in my life, and when I do that, I will also be in a position to help others, so that's what makes me happy, although there are times when I am not happy and still have to let it out as I can't fake it.
I hope you are ok and please don't pay any attention to those people who tell you that you have to be happy, yet they have a fake smile themselves and just be you. Be happy when you are genuinely happy because that is what will actually make you happy.

it's nice to hear such positive things and you're very kind, I'm happy for you. Can't say I'm okay, but I'm glad to hear these nice words from you <3

 

[spicy_illusion]

it's nice to hear such positive things and you're very kind, I'm happy for you. Can't say I'm okay, but I'm glad to hear these nice words from you <3

It's completely ok to let out your emotions if you need to because sometimes, if you hold it in, it will just build up.
I find that crying works for me, like if I am at a point in my life where I just need to be alone let out my tears, then I will do. I don't know your situation, so I can't really say what you are going through, but I do know that only you should give yourself permission to smile and only smile when you actually feel like it.
I find it annoying when people say that when you smile, even when you don't feel like it, then it's good for you and will make you happy but the truth is, how can you smile and feel good when you are not happy? It just doesn't work like that.

Just keep being you and be happy when you are happy and be sad when you are sad because if you don't, you will feel trapped and depressed.
We need to see a genuine smile from you whenever you're ready to 🙂

 

[kodoku]

It's completely ok to let out your emotions if you need to because sometimes, if you hold it in, it will just build up.
I find that crying works for me, like if I am at a point in my life where I just need to be alone let out my tears, then I will do. I don't know your situation, so I can't really say what you are going through, but I do know that only you should give yourself permission to smile and only smile when you actually feel like it.
I find it annoying when people say that when you smile, even when you don't feel like it, then it's good for you and will make you happy but the truth is, how can you smile and feel good when you are not happy? It just doesn't work like that.

Just keep being you and be happy when you are happy and be sad when you are sad because if you don't, you will feel trapped and depressed.
We need to see a genuine smile from you whenever you're ready to 🙂

you are really so nice, thank you <3 I've been crying since last night, several times since then.. I don't think I'll be feeling better soon, if ever.. the topic of this thread is the least of my problems, but it's easier to talk about something small then the real stuff I guess. again, you're a beautiful soul and thank you

 

[spicy_illusion]

you are really so nice, thank you <3 I've been crying since last night, several times since then.. I don't think I'll be feeling better soon, if ever.. the topic of this thread is the least of my problems, but it's easier to talk about something small then the real stuff I guess. again, you're a beautiful soul and thank you

Have you ever talked to someone irl about your problems at all? Someone who you can trust? Because I have found that when I have been depressed and broke down in tears that someone takes me into an empty room and just tries to calm me down and then they listen to my side of the story, then I will always feel better when someone actually listens to me.
Do you have anyone who you can talk to like that at all? Because although online talking can be good to some extent, sometimes you just need someone who you can talk to who has dealt with this type of situation before and hug you and make sure you will be ok.

 

[kodoku]

Have you ever talked to someone irl about your problems at all? Someone who you can trust? Because I have found that when I have been depressed and broke down in tears that someone takes me into an empty room and just tries to calm me down and then they listen to my side of the story, then I will always feel better when someone actually listens to me.
Do you have anyone who you can talk to like that at all? Because although online talking can be good to some extent, sometimes you just need someone who you can talk to who has dealt with this type of situation before and hug you and make sure you will be ok.

yeah online stuff sometimes just isn't the same as irl even if the person means well and tries their best. I don't really feel comfortable crying in front of anyone in my life, even talking wouldn't really work. It's just too bad. I guess I'll wait a bit more

 

[spicy_illusion]

yeah online stuff sometimes just isn't the same as irl even if the person means well and tries their best. I don't really feel comfortable crying in front of anyone in my life, even talking wouldn't really work. It's just too bad. I guess I'll wait a bit more

Aww, i'm sorry to hear that! I do hope that whenever you are ready, you will have the confidence to chat to someone as they can really help.
Of course, you also have all of us on KS as well and we can try to do even a little to help :)
I'm also one PM away if you ever want to chat as well.

 

[Wingfrost]

I’ve never related to anything more than this post.

I’m constantly being told to cheer up, smile, be happy because they like my smile. I guess even a fake smile rather than a resting face. It’s exhausting trying to be happy for others so they can feel better about themselves.

 

[jasque]

Tbh I wish people wouldn't celebrate everything and make parties all the time.

Look at all the trouble it brings.
Now would be a good time for humanity to rethink this behaviour.

People are despaired to become happy but they do it all wrong...

 

[dark_tranquility]

People try to force me to smile all the time. Just because I don't smile, doesn't mean I am not happy...
Humanity is stupid.

 

[kodoku]

Aww, i'm sorry to hear that! I do hope that whenever you are ready, you will have the confidence to chat to someone as they can really help.
Of course, you also have all of us on KS as well and we can try to do even a little to help :)
I'm also one PM away if you ever want to chat as well.

thank you again... I might do that <3

I’ve never related to anything more than this post.

I’m constantly being told to cheer up, smile, be happy because they like my smile. I guess even a fake smile rather than a resting face. It’s exhausting trying to be happy for others so they can feel better about themselves.

so true, sorry you feel this way too :I

 

[yeji]

forcing someone to fake smile and to be fake happy is more than toxic. just let the peson be and try to be understanding. there is a reason for anything so rather than trying to force they should give out a helping hand and just talk.