Advice (exes) (1 Viewer)

[Eden]

I sometimes check my ex's sns, also from old friends, just to make sure they're alive especially many people I met only and I just want reassurance for myself they're still alive and well (I never actually contact them tho, it's just for inner peace) well my ex gf is clearly not over me even tho she dumped me and ignored me so... I don't have to feel guilty but Idk I'm the type to always blame myself, I kinda wanna tell her about my changed life and newfound love, it may help her accept it and leave it in the past, maybe we can continue as just friends later on. But at the same time, it may hurt her too... I feel responsible if anything happens to her knowing her weak health, I should've never dated her at all, I wasn't really myself either it was literally the worst timing (I'd just attempted suicide so yeahhh) I could just leave an anon message on her tumblr and leave it at that, it may help her

And inb4 "you still care" it takes a long long time before I stop caring about exes or ex friends completely... Even if it ended in a fight, even if I hate your guts, I still worry about you. But as for the romantic feelings, they're gone, I'm deeply in love with someone else

 

[kodoku]

tbh I think everyone should care about their exes on a human level. Doesn't mean you still want them or that no wrong has been done.. but we should have respect for what we once had with someone even if it's long over. I couldn't get over an ex for a long time not because I loved him, but because he tossed me away like trash and ignores my entire existence and that's what hurt the most, I couldn't understand it.. but I guess some people are like that once they have no use for you. Anyway that's really nice of you and shows a big heart and maturity imo :)

 

[Day]

This really resonates with me, but it was about a failed friendship, not relationship.

Everything about it was wrong and unhealthy, the bond we had. It must have been my fault, since I was older and should have known better. I check her facebook every now and then to see if she's happy (can only see profile since she's private & I would never try to be in her life again). I miss the good times we had together, especially since we both found each other at low times in our lives and overcame unimaginable odds.

I totally understand what you're saying, and I hope you won't be so defensive about it. I had an ex tell me he didn't do "friends with exs" after we broke up and tbh that was so ironic because a month later, he started speaking to me again (having recently broke up with his girlfriend who was my ex-bff). It's only natural to want to make sure these people we once loved so much are still okay. Getting over those feelings is so difficult.

 

[Eden]

tbh I think everyone should care about their exes on a human level. Doesn't mean you still want them or that no wrong has been done.. but we should have respect for what we once had with someone even if it's long over. I couldn't get over an ex for a long time not because I loved him, but because he tossed me away like trash and ignores my entire existence and that's what hurt the most, I couldn't understand it.. but I guess some people are like that once they have no use for you. Anyway that's really nice of you and shows a big heart and maturity imo :)

Yeah it was the same for me, got dumped outta nowhere and she refused to tell me why... I used my hatred (actually, disbelief and self-doubts) at that time to get over it but of course I don't truly hate her... Nor love. There's a difference between still having feelings and caring about a fellow human being who's life you played a role in

 

[Eden]

This really resonates with me, but it was about a failed friendship, not relationship.

Everything about it was wrong and unhealthy, the bond we had. It must have been my fault, since I was older and should have known better. I check her facebook every now and then to see if she's happy (can only see profile since she's private & I would never try to be in her life again). I miss the good times we had together, especially since we both found each other at low times in our lives and overcame unimaginable odds.

I totally understand what you're saying, and I hope you won't be so defensive about it. I had an ex tell me he didn't do "friends with exs" after we broke up and tbh that was so ironic because a month later, he started speaking to me again (having recently broke up with his girlfriend who was my ex-bff). It's only natural to want to make sure these people we once loved so much are still okay. Getting over those feelings is so difficult.

Yeah I thought maybe letting her know I'm doing fine and lost feelings, will take away her guilt a bit (I blame myself, but she's the one who ended it leaving me clueless, she's also the one still hurt by it apparently...) then again, I may hurt her even more if I contact her, right?

 

[Abeamus]

It's likely that you doing anything with her knowing it's you will only make those feelings feel stronger and give her a harder time getting over you and as much as you may want to help her the problem is you really can't and she just has to make a real effort to move on.

 

[ripiasuju]

My advice for Becci would be to leave her well alone she wants nothing to do with you and she even left akp to get away from you, she was always a troublesome user but had a kind heart deep down and always did believe she was doing the right thing even if she wasn't. She has been an akp user as long as I have and never left. it took you to drive her away, so yeah I'd leave her well alone if I were you.

edit - and also that title is disrespectful to her you cant just openly shade a kpop forum user.

 

[jasque]

I still talk with my ex almost everyday.

 

[Sory]

I also understand the feeling of wanting to be reassured about people who have crossed our lives, friends or lovers. The feelings we have had for someone, or the sadness of separation, do not vanish suddenly. I was also guilty of lurking on the profiles of some people to get a glimpse of their lives without me until last year. I don’t do it anymore. I made the mistake of recontacting someone from my past and it ended badly. I’ve learned that these people are in your past for a reason and it’s better that they stay there. If they can advance without you, so can you. If they cared, they would reach out to you or never have distanced themselves in the first place.

 

[ripiasuju]

It definitely is becci and i could prove that if I wanted to. And i would know if it were Ally. And it ain't Ally. Nice try, and I can reply where I want.

Edit- i know it looks like im talkingto myself lol but there was a reply but mods did their job so its gone same as the title.