are there certain things that you owe a person? (1 Viewer)

[hxney_jun]

obviously there are things that should be mutual in the relationship (regardless of what kind) but do you think that you ever owe someone a certain behavior or action?
i feel like i give someone the respect they give me so i think that would be something i feel like i would owe. but other than that i don't think i feel like i owe anyone my time or attention if it makes me uncomfortable.

 

[dark_tranquility]

I owe people money?
Been trying not to take out loans so much.

I owe my time, as they do mine.

 

[centen]

I strongly believe that if you agree to do something, you rally. If you agree to go to, idk, a concert and you show up, you try to have a good time. If you're in a bad mood, you keep that shit to yourself. Hell, you might find you can actually get in a better mood if you're not just sitting there ruminating over why everything sucks.

A lot of that is influenced by having parents who won't rally for shit. If they're in a bad mood (which they normally are), then you will know it and you won't have a good time without them popping up to tell you why the thing sucks. I went to Vegas with them, and my dad complained nonstop about how it wasn't a "real" vacation and my mom said the hotel sucked, wore bad shoes and then bitched nonstop about how far away everything was, and later blamed me for being unhappy about her and dad complaining. Another time I was recovering from a required surgery, and they wouldn't even pull through to watch my dog, despite agreeing to do it, they whined nonstop about it until I just dealt with the pain and drove to get my dog.

So that's something that I believe you owe others. Because it fucking sucks to be on the side of someone agreeing to something and then going out of their way to make you miserable about what they agreed to do.

 

[Selfmate]

trust?
honesty?
loyalty?

what each person considers something that is "owed" in a relationship or not the other person might disagree or agree but have an entire different perspective as to the meaning of those things

 

[LalisaLovesNnie]

Hmm, I think instead of seeing it as something you owe someone (and vice versa), I think of compromise and love. But if I'm not in a relationship with them romantically, platonically, etc., then I give them basic respect or deal with them properly not because I owe them that but I owe it to myself. I sometimes fail at this though I've improved; by treating others well in spite of how they treated me, I respect myself enough not to stoop down to their level. If I have enough self-respect, then what other people say or do shouldn't matter (even if it might hurt).

However, I think you should also set boundaries and know when to stop associating with them. I don't know if that was what you were referring to in the latter part of your OP.