Sensitive Becoming close with people (3 Viewers)

[SHlNEE]

DISCLAIMER; THIS IS NOT DIRECTED TO ANYONE - THIS IS A GENERAL LIFE STRUGGLE

i have not had a TRUE bff for FAK KNOWS HOW LONG
and it bothers me a little and i honestly don't understand wtf is going on with my life

let alone the fact it can really bother me when i think about it
i got seriously 0 female friends in my real personal life
all i got is 1 niece who is like 6 years younger than me
and i love her and we get along but she more focused on her friends than me ever, which is fine

like WTF
im not a fkin 14 year old anymore, so i can't make a whole bunch of new friends in high school areas... i got fkin bullied during those years so making friends was not an option much.... i pray to god i can go on and do a social work study and hopefully make new friends during that whole 4 year thing.... but god knows whats going to happen

im a good fkin person with a fkin good heart, i got humor, people can trust me, i can talk for hours, i can do fun things, i am open minded etc etc
yet somehow someway i got no fkin real ass friends in my life i can rely on and talk to on a weekly basis
not even on a monthly basis because i seriously got nothing LOL
no friends nada

all i got is my family and animals and it bugs me
its a thing offline especially but also online
i often try to get to know people and they either don't want to (ok fine i cant force you) or they make you think they want to and then suddenly its over

take my last job for example
new girl came in, she and i got a lot in common
we can chat and laugh and its all fun
yet the girl has no interest to become friends whatsoever
i dont understand why
we even live near each other, we seriously like a lot of the same stuff
i showed interest to hang out outside of work, i gave her a hint but she never bothered with it yet she is all WOOHOO with the others

LIKE SOMEONE TELL ME PLEASE
(yes im having a moment here if you couldnt already tell ugh)
SURE NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO MAKE FRIENDS ALL THE TIME, I GET IT
THATS TOTALLY FINE
BUT WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME?
IT FEELS LIKE IM THE ONLY FKIN ONE AROUND SOMETIMES
who is truly and genuinely interested into getting to know people
but everyone i meet, ALMOST EVERYONE
seems to be too busy with shit or not interested
and it bugs me

how am i suppose to make friends if no one ever shows interest back in me
i can show as much interest in someone as i want or as little as i want
doesn't matter
i just keep fkin running into people that don't give a fak
shout out to @yellowcoat though, she has been interested to get to know me the most and also the first around here who did that and she is real cute for that and i love her


sometimes it feels like im fkin cursed
....
ok i didnt make this thread to get sympathy or whatever or empathy or whatever the right terms are

i just needed to vent big time
i just feel very lonely and i am just waiting for the day
with tears in my eyes till i finally meet REAL LIFE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTED to get to know me
i am not that ugly and boring you know, im ok
cant wait to find people who don't fkin fake it and are genuine
they so hard to find
ugh
(thought i met a bff year ago but turned out to be a total crazy jealous bitch, so yeah, like always fak meh life)​

 

[Tickita]

Spoiler

[Spoiler because I know that you're venting and I don't want to make this about me]

I can relate. It's been so long that I don't look for it anymore, and I don't try.

I hope you find your people one day, or they find you. I hope you are able to see who they are when they show up, and have long lasting, healthy relationships.

 

[chris_m]

So first of I'm really sorry to hear that. From the brief time that I got to know you in this forum you're really a sweet, caring and funny person. What I can tell you is that sometimes the best things happen when you expect them the least so don't lose hope. I really hope that you will meet some very nice people during social work who value you

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

I think it's harder with jobs to make friends. Most of my friends I've made from work-only one has stuck to the point where we would hang out outside of work. The other one was my BF.

But I think in general it's hard for people to make it out of the workplace unless it's been a long thing. You never know if someone is going to leave suddenly because those circumstances happen so often at jobs that it's hard to make a commitment to friendship with someone. Which sucks but I think that's how I view work friends and as a result. Never take them out further than the workplace.

I may have a different view on it though since I've been friends with people from my high school and Childhood for years now and therefore don't really care to become super close to newer people. Honestly, I think I've forgotten how to if I'm being perfectly real here.

I also think it has to do with the timing in people's life. Right now I have so much shit to figure out that I only really have time for specific people. I think you just haven't run into the person that is in the same place as you. But I think the time will come where it'll happen for you and you'll be super happy and be a great friend on top of having a great friend.

Also sorry if I seem standoffish on here-I just kind of...am that way because of life and shit?

 

[SHlNEE]

I will reply tomorrow in a decent way to those who got the kindness in their heart to even read this and care to reply to maybe give me advice or supportive words

Just wanted to add another disclaimer
I AM NOT FORGETTING THOSE ON KS WHO SHOWN ME LOVE AND INTEREST
I APPRECIATE YOU ALL
THIS VENT WAS MORE SO ABOUT WANTING A BFF AGAIN AND JUST REAL CLOSE FRIENDS
I found plenty of casual online friends on here but i just seek something more deep you know

Thank you in advance

 

[Wingfrost]

I’m so sorry to hear that.
I haven’t had an irl bf since I was eleven but because of some things I experienced I never longed for more friendships because I was afraid of losing people I loved over and over again. As I’ve gotten older though I’ve felt the way you’re feeling, I don’t go to school anymore and my job I usually am working by myself, I’m also not the greatest at starting conversations so those have made it difficult for me to build friendships irl that I long for. I genuinely hope that you find people that you connect with, because friends are really an awesome part of life.

 

[Yili]

When I was younger I had a hard time fitting in with people, even though I wasn't bullied, I never felt like I belonged and made friends for the sake of not being lonely. It got really hard when I went to uni and I barely get to see the same people all the time, I felt like just staying inside and not trying so I didn't really try. Everytime I tried, we got distant because of school, couldn't meet often, and lost touch, or I just didn't connect with them and I let the relationship just fade. I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there and trying to, and someday you will find those people that you really connect with and have fun with.
I still struggle to this day with trying too hard to make friends with people that I don't match with just so I won't be lonely. I hope instead of doing what I did and still do sometimes, that you find people that make you truly happy <3

 

[brekker]

Watch me type this on a freaking tablet and getting emotional because I can't help myself. You and I sound alike. I have always had problems with fitting in hence my insecurity around people. I have like two childhood friends who live their own life peacefully and we see each other once a year. Then I hsve two friends from college who I sometimes call and tslk on insta via funny memes an outbursts of cries. I suck at making friends. But I think if I have learnt something on Quora reading about life advice posts... That's life. Most people don't have that tv show like friend who will come to their rescue at 2am,get them drunk when their hesrt is broken because most people just stick to themselves, but they are better at hiding it since they are extroverts. Sone people are just loud and friendly but when you try to get to know them better they back up and build a wall like hey there buddy wr are colleagues not friends and it kinda hurts, but it sucks being a grown up. But stars align for those who don't give up, so don't close yourself from the world, let people get to know you and if they turn that chance down. Well, their loss as they are missing out on a wonderful person ❤❤❤. We are just living in a really lonely world, but don't worry I don't live that far. Can be at yours in two hours by plane ❤❤❤

 

[brekker]

I have checked plane tickets what the hell, I am taking the bus. Like love you but that's expensive 😂. I have already been to Amstr and the journey wasn't that bad 😂😂😂. Bus, I am taking a bus, once a third class, always a third class 😂😂. My dream would be a train though

 

[SHlNEE]

Spoiler

[Spoiler because I know that you're venting and I don't want to make this about me]

I can relate. It's been so long that I don't look for it anymore, and I don't try.

I hope you find your people one day, or they find you. I hope you are able to see who they are when they show up, and have long lasting, healthy relationships.

thank you for your sweet words, right back at ya
do you mean you also got no real life female friends?

 

[SHlNEE]

I have checked plane tickets what the hell, I am taking the bus. Like love you but that's expensive 😂. I have already been to Amstr and the journey wasn't that bad 😂😂😂. Bus, I am taking a bus, once a third class, always a third class 😂😂. My dream would be a train though

maybe we shall take an awesome train ride together in the future

 

[brekker]

maybe we shall take an awesome train ride together in the future

sounds like a plan! thanks God we are adults and we can do that :D.

 

[SHlNEE]

When I was younger I had a hard time fitting in with people, even though I wasn't bullied, I never felt like I belonged and made friends for the sake of not being lonely. It got really hard when I went to uni and I barely get to see the same people all the time, I felt like just staying inside and not trying so I didn't really try. Everytime I tried, we got distant because of school, couldn't meet often, and lost touch, or I just didn't connect with them and I let the relationship just fade. I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there and trying to, and someday you will find those people that you really connect with and have fun with.
I still struggle to this day with trying too hard to make friends with people that I don't match with just so I won't be lonely. I hope instead of doing what I did and still do sometimes, that you find people that make you truly happy <3

when relationships fade for whatever reason.......ugh the tragedy
and i also never had a true feeling of belonging that lasted long enough
i mean. i think i had it twice in my life
and then them people later on fkd me over and didn't care for me anymore ...... god knows why
like i always had the problem people judged me so much if i hung out with someone everyone thought was ''too weird'''

even though the weird ones are often the more human ones

i really appreciate your wise words but please also apply them to yourself
don't make friends with people you don't like for real or something
DON'T DO FAKE FRIENDSHIPS, ITS A WASTE OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME ON EARTH
you might as well just better spend that time with us on ks DROP THE FAKE PEOPLE
and for future reference, also don't be fake yourself ♥
(not trying to insult you and call you fake or anything but i use the word because you said you have friendships just for the sake of not being lonely
so in my brain that is translated into fake frienships )

 

[Yili]

when relationships fade for whatever reason.......ugh the tragedy
and i also never had a true feeling of belonging that last long enough
i mean. i think i had it twice in my life
and then them people later on fkd me over and didn't care for me anymore ...... god knows why
like i always had the problem people judged me so much if i hung out with someone everyone thought was ''too weird'''

even though the weird ones are often the more human ones

i really appreciate your wise words but please also apply them to yourself
don't make friends with people you don't like for real or something
DON'T DO FAKE FRIENDSHIPS, ITS A WASTE OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME ON EARTH
you might as well just better spend that time with us on ks DROP THE FAKE PEOPLE
and for future reference, also don't be fake yourself ♥
(not trying to insult you and call you fake or anything but i use the word because you said you have friendships just for the sake of not being lonely
so in my brain that is translated into fake frienships )

don't worry i know i have to take my own advice. thank you for giving me some back, i have a lot to work on

 

[SHlNEE]

Watch me type this on a freaking tablet and getting emotional because I can't help myself. You and I sound alike. I have always had problems with fitting in hence my insecurity around people. I have like two childhood friends who live their own life peacefully and we see each other once a year. Then I hsve two friends from college who I sometimes call and tslk on insta via funny memes an outbursts of cries. I suck at making friends. But I think if I have learnt something on Quora reading about life advice posts... That's life. Most people don't have that tv show like friend who will come to their rescue at 2am,get them drunk when their hesrt is broken because most people just stick to themselves, but they are better at hiding it since they are extroverts. Sone people are just loud and friendly but when you try to get to know them better they back up and build a wall like hey there buddy wr are colleagues not friends and it kinda hurts, but it sucks being a grown up. But stars align for those who don't give up, so don't close yourself from the world, let people get to know you and if they turn that chance down. Well, their loss as they are missing out on a wonderful person ❤❤❤. We are just living in a really lonely world, but don't worry I don't live that far. Can be at yours in two hours by plane ❤❤❤

aw you got emotional?

i don't think i suck at making friends
i mean i used to when in high school as i was the quiet shy type
but after i gotten older, 18+ i started to develop the skill of being more open and social
and just not giving a fak and just talk to people at the most random moments in time

my randomness and not giving a fak attitude aka not shy anymore
makes it quite easy to make friends, i know from experience
it's just that i run into people way too often that are simply not interested in making more friends than they already have
which is ok, i am not focing anything and its natural people dont wanna be friends with literally everyone they ever meet

but i just was venting because i know im not a terrible person and im loving and fun and a good person
and this struggle i usually meet fkd up people who make no sense or are literally crazy
is just sometimes getting to me i guess
like last night

like im a fkin good and normal person aka im not some crazy hoe who nobody would like to hang out with
so it just goes beyond my fkd up mind that i am so lonely on the female friend side of things
i do have 1 male friend in real life............ oh wait now thats it
lost my group of friends months ago because they just decided to ditch me because of some disagreement or whatever
so like true friends huh.... NOT


thank you for your sweetness
and never thought i would see you say you could meet me in person
and i know you right, one day it is going to happen and i will meet people that will be friends for life
i shall not give up

 

[SHlNEE]

I’m so sorry to hear that.
I haven’t had an irl bf since I was eleven but because of some things I experienced I never longed for more friendships because I was afraid of losing people I loved over and over again. As I’ve gotten older though I’ve felt the way you’re feeling, I don’t go to school anymore and my job I usually am working by myself, I’m also not the greatest at starting conversations so those have made it difficult for me to build friendships irl that I long for. I genuinely hope that you find people that you connect with, because friends are really an awesome part of life.

boyfriend or best friend you mean? but i assume you mean best friend
im sorry to hear terrible things happened to you, do you mean you got no friend anymore and you all alone with just family?
and the struggle of even finding people, YOU KNOW THE FEELS
if you got not many colleagues at work and no school to go to anymore
than what do you do?
go to clubs, bars?

thank you for your wishes ♥ appreciate it and i wish it for you as well honestly
i hope you will learn how to start a convo more easily sooner rather than later
though shy cuties are ♥

 

[SHlNEE]

I think it's harder with jobs to make friends. Most of my friends I've made from work-only one has stuck to the point where we would hang out outside of work. The other one was my BF.

But I think in general it's hard for people to make it out of the workplace unless it's been a long thing. You never know if someone is going to leave suddenly because those circumstances happen so often at jobs that it's hard to make a commitment to friendship with someone. Which sucks but I think that's how I view work friends and as a result. Never take them out further than the workplace.

I may have a different view on it though since I've been friends with people from my high school and Childhood for years now and therefore don't really care to become super close to newer people. Honestly, I think I've forgotten how to if I'm being perfectly real here.

I also think it has to do with the timing in people's life. Right now I have so much shit to figure out that I only really have time for specific people. I think you just haven't run into the person that is in the same place as you. But I think the time will come where it'll happen for you and you'll be super happy and be a great friend on top of having a great friend.

Also sorry if I seem standoffish on here-I just kind of...am that way because of life and shit?

i hope them two people will be by your side forever

i don't get you at the first work message part
are you saying you don't like to befriend people at work because they might have to leave one day?

and see, honestly, you one of them type of people that i was talking about lol
you them lucky ones who gotten friendships for life at high school and in college or before high school and them friendships are so amazing they will probably last forever and you got a few so you like WHY BOTHER WITH NEW PEOPLE?
and then people like ME are like HELLO, HOW COME YOU NOT INTERESTED ? I THOUGHT WE GOT ALONG?
like it is totally fine, everyone got the right to be friends with whoever they want to, you don't have to be friends with everyone nor with people that say they want to be yours
but i just find it ashame so many are closing themselves off for making new friends just because of ''cant be bothered, don't care or whatever ew attitude''
now i don't think you fall under that category but you know just saying there is a lot out there like that and it bugs me
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
i was at an anime and kpop event once, two seperate events, went by myself AND NO ONE CARED ENOUGH TO BE LIKE HEY HOW YOU DOIN
BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE WAS ALREADY THERE WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS SO WHY MEET NEW PEOPLE? EW lol thats how it felt to me
the ones i did meet, none stuck by and stayed friends with me even though we had each other on social media or whatever
i ALMOST ALWAYS show sincere interest if i like someone and often people don't care because they just have bunch of friends already
and that saddens me little

thank you for your words though and i think you might be right on the whole ''right time same place thing''
but it's just hard, i am in my late 20s and i got no REAL LIFE female friend that i can talk to and feel good with?
THATS JUST SAD
and it does not bug me all the time but like few times a year
i thought i had found THE ONE last year but she turned out to be a total jealous bitch
oh wait did i already said that? ugh

 

[SHlNEE]

So first of I'm really sorry to hear that. From the brief time that I got to know you in this forum you're really a sweet, caring and funny person. What I can tell you is that sometimes the best things happen when you expect them the least so don't lose hope. I really hope that you will meet some very nice people during social work who value you

why do you often say i am sweet etc
omg your love towards me breaks me
its too much

no but in all seriousness
thank you
but doesn't it make you wonder, IF I AM such sweet caring funny person
THEN WHY NO FEMALES IN REAL LIFE WANT TO BE MY FRIEND
thank you, i hope so too
IF I DO NOT MAKE 1 FKIN FRIEND WHEN I GO BACK TO SCHOOL
I AM GOING TO GIVE UP LOL

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

i hope them two people will be by your side forever

i don't get you at the first work message part
are you saying you don't like to befriend people at work because they might have to leave one day?

and see, honestly, you one of them type of people that i was talking about lol
you them lucky ones who gotten friendships for life at high school and in college or before high school and them friendships are so amazing they will probably last forever and you got a few so you like WHY BOTHER WITH NEW PEOPLE?
and then people like ME are like HELLO, HOW COME YOU NOT INTERESTED ? I THOUGHT WE GOT ALONG?
like it is totally fine, everyone got the right to be friends with whoever they want to, you don't have to be friends with everyone nor with people that say they want to be yours
but i just find it ashame so many are closing themselves off for making new friends just because of ''cant be bothered, don't care or whatever ew attitude''
now i don't think you fall under that category but you know just saying there is a lot out there like that and it bugs me
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
i was at an anime and kpop event once, two seperate events, went by myself AND NO ONE CARED ENOUGH TO BE LIKE HEY HOW YOU DOIN
BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE WAS ALREADY THERE WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS SO WHY MEET NEW PEOPLE? EW lol thats how it felt to me
the ones i did meet, none stuck by and stayed friends with me even though we had each other on social media or whatever
i ALMOST ALWAYS show sincere interest if i like someone and often people don't care because they just have bunch of friends already
and that saddens me little

thank you for your words though and i think you might be right on the whole ''right time same place thing''
but it's just hard, i am in my late 20s and i got no REAL LIFE female friend that i can talk to and feel good with?
THATS JUST SAD
and it does not bug me all the time but like few times a year
i thought i had found THE ONE last year but she turned out to be a total jealous bitch
oh wait did i already said that? ugh

It's all good I understand. Like I said though my life is so chaotic and busy I really only have time for the friends I have in my life already- I can manage online friends because it's usually not SUPER time-consuming.

Also yes, that's what I meant. Most jobs I worked except for one had a high turnover rate and as a result none of my friends I had made really stuck around for long so I didn't see the point in getting close to newer people. I was never rude though, I was oftentimes put on training people at my old job because despite being a supervisor who could be intimidating I was also really good at making newer people feel welcome.

But once again, those friendships rarely ever stuck because those people despite getting along with me and others would oftentimes not last even a month. So I don't really think too much about it-that may change when I get a more long term job.

 

[Tickita]

thank you for your sweet words, right back at ya
do you mean you also got no real life female friends?

Yes. No friends at all