honestly I am with you on this. I never understood why people make big deals about someone elses sexuality and why we just assume that someone is straight. I personally definitely have difficulty coming out myself. Online like you said is just way different. Coming out to my family tho? I am dreading it cause a christian russian houshold isn’t ideal especially with the fact that many people never seem to get how anyone could be into more than just one gender.
anyway you are certainly brave adu and I am honestly thankful that you feel comfortable to share this with us.
ive always read to bring a friend along when coming out to family as well but i dont see how that could work any better, youll still feel as anxious and i'm pretty sure the parents wouldnt fake their reaction with a friend around,
and yeah, i've known most of the users on here for a pretty long time already, and its been like 5-6 years since i came out
ive always read to bring a friend along when coming out to family as well but i dont see how that could work any better, youll still feel as anxious and i'm pretty sure the parents wouldnt fake their reaction with a friend around,
and yeah, i've known most of the users on here for a pretty long time already, and its been like 5-6 years since i came out
Awww, pixie I want to squish you.
Brave German pixie...
Ah I totally get the stereotypes, i find them quite annoying as I've noticed when someone outs themselves theyrd somewhat expected to fall in line with the stereotype. But of all the gay guys I've know and met in my life only two fell into 'stereotypical gay' type, the rest were just themselves, not to say the 'stereotypical gay guys weren't themselves, I'm pretty sure they were.
The idea of backlash does weigh heavily on you, especially if Theres a high chance of it being extremely negative.
I've always maintained that my sexuality is my business hence I never really hid my sexuality but I never showcased it
(not purposely...but I'm mean theres was one time, cause this person had seen me kiss my friend on the lips, it was like a quick peck in college nothing romantic just friend like and this person decided that she should come up to us, mainly me and explain why and what I did was wrong and God wouldn't like it blah blah blah, so I made out with my friend just to spite her lol lucky this judgy person didn't witness what I did behind closed doors honestly, like my ticket to hell is secured lol)
As it wasn't important for anyone to know,. if they wanted to know all they could is ask but no ever does really, so it's not mentioned until they see something that goes against their internal assumptions of me I guess.
Although the only person I felt I had to out myself to was my mother, which wasn't worth anything and didn't change anything, but I think it was out of obligation as her first born daughter, her reaction was Negative, as she assumed my straightness was clarified by the fact that I had lost my virginity to a guy, but whole virginity loss was to test the waters... And the result was I wasn't exactly straight...being somewhat Bi was enough to condemn me really in which she didnt talk to me for two months, so i was never brought up again. we continued as disconnected as normal that was that really seemed such a waste cause I remember how upset I was before hand, cause I had her told the day of I had lost my virginity and waited a week later to tell her why, I smoked and drank alot during that week just to bring myself to tell her I wasn't striaght but I wasn't gay either, it was still a loss in her eyes.
Bare mind this all happened when I was 15, it was one of the roughest years of my life that was just the opening chapter of that year lol
It would have been so much worse if one of my siblings was gay, but like hell if I would ever let my mother disown them or my extended family condemn them, I'd fight for them.
But honestly it's something I worry about with my son, not that he'll be gay or whatever thats perfectly fine if he is, more that if I will be enough to protect and support him from the horrible people that want to judge him if he is.
I got a bit TMI sorry. Still proud of you you pixie!
Awww, pixie I want to squish you.
Brave German pixie...
Ah I totally get the stereotypes, i find them quite annoying as I've noticed when someone outs themselves theyrd somewhat expected to fall in line with the stereotype. But of all the gay guys I've know and met in my life only two fell into 'stereotypical gay' type, the rest were just themselves, not to say the 'stereotypical gay guys weren't themselves, I'm pretty sure they were.
The idea of backlash does weigh heavily on you, especially if Theres a high chance of it being extremely negative.
I've always maintained that my sexuality is my business hence I never really hid my sexuality but I never showcased it
(not purposely...but I'm mean theres was one time, cause this person had seen me kiss my friend on the lips, it was like a quick peck in college nothing romantic just friend like and this person decided that she should come up to us, mainly me and explain why and what I did was wrong and God wouldn't like it blah blah blah, so I made out with my friend just to spite her lol lucky this judgy person didn't witness what I did behind closed doors honestly, like my ticket to hell is secured lol)
As it wasn't important for anyone to know,. if they wanted to know all they could is ask but no ever does really, so it's not mentioned until they see something that goes against the internal assumption if me I guess.
Although the only person I felt I had to out myself to was my mother, which wasn't worth anything and didn't change anything, but I think it was out of obligation as her first born daughter, her reaction was Negative, as she assumed my straightness was clarified by the fact that I had lost my virginity to a guy, but whole virginity loss was to test the waters... And the result was I wasn't exactly straight...being somewhat Bi was enough to condemn me really in which she didnt talk to me for two months, so i was never brought up again. that was that really seemed such a waste cause I remember how upset I was before hand, cause I had told the day of I had lost my virginity and waited a week later to tell her why, I smoked and drank alot during that week... But in mind this all happened when I was 15, it was one of the roughest years of my life that's was just the opening chapter lol
It would have been so much worse if one of my siblings was gay, but likehell if I would ever let my mother disown them or my extended family condemn them, I'd fight for them.
But honestly it's something I worry about with my son, not that he'll be gay or whatever thats perfectly fine if he is, more that if I will be enough to protect and support him from the horrible people that want to judge him if he is.
I got a bit TMI sorry. Still proud of you you pixie!
It's really nice to hear some other stories too so thank you for sharing!
I definitely agree with you that outing myself to my mom was not worth anything and after it it didn't really change anything in our relationship besides me still being a little conflicted whenever we hug or I say I love her etc. as I mentioned in my post.
It's really weird that parents would disown someone though, I really don't get that out of all the reactions possible, throwing them out of the house etc.
It's your kid you cared for for multiple years, it's like they think that you are a completely different person in one second
Kudos to you though for wanting to share something about yourself that means a lot to you. I hate that everyone had to stereotype you because of your sexuality. Not cool. :/ I’m glad that society is becoming more accepting these days. I just wish more people would educate themselves and stop living in ignorance all the time.
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