Sensitive do you often experience existential dread? (1 Viewer)

[eclipsoul]

[tw: death]

just like the title says. lately there's been a lot of bad news in my country regarding brutal homicides (including a girl my age in the city i live in) and hearing this has driven me to a weird existential crisis that's been going on for a week in my head rn and makes it impossible for me to focus on anything without thinking that my loved ones whom i spend time with everyday will one day leave this world and i don't know when and how this might happen. technically it's a privilege to have such wonderful people around you that imagining a world without them drives you this insane but i wish i could.... you know, not think about my family members dying while we're all sitting and watching a volleyball match. i often hear people say "live each day like it's your last" as a metaphor for enjoying life but that quote makes me feel the opposite because what if it LITERALLY IS your last

do you guys often feel like this?? what do you do when it happens??

i tend to keep such things off a kpop forum but given that my irls have their own busy lives and don't really reply to me, here i come - after all i consider KS like a big friend circle even tho we don't technically know other

 

[Belgizen]

Tbh I sometimes have this but I think like "will this all be over? Like there be nothing and life just goes on without me ever knowing it?"
Dying really scares me and thinking about it makes me physically sick.
I do think it's a good thing having this, as I like to think that this is the reason why I never acted on my suicidal thoughts.

 

[pinkmelodies]

You're not alone. I've been feeling like this from time to time but try to keep myself busy with school and my hobbies. It was worst last year when my mental health was declining. It is scary to realize anything can happen within a second. However, I always try to stay grateful I'm even alive, healthy, and have family to keep me going

 

[eclipsoul]

Tbh I sometimes have this but I think like "will this all be over? Like there be nothing and life just goes on without me ever knowing it?"
Dying really scares me and thinking about it makes me physically sick.
I do think it's a good thing having this, as I like to think that this is the reason why I never acted on my suicidal thoughts.

i'm glad you're still with us ❤
i think this way too, most people around me are spiritual and believe in some kind of an afterlife - i never did, which is why this is so hard for me. eternal oblivion is so so scary to me and that damn mark twain quote people use to say that you've been dead before you were born makes it even worse because there's a huge difference between never existing to begin with AND ending your existence forever.

 

[eclipsoul]

You're not alone. I've been feeling like this from time to time but try to keep myself busy with school and my hobbies. It was worst last year when my mental health was declining. It is scary to realize anything can happen within a second. However, I always try to stay grateful I'm even alive, healthy, and have family to keep me going

i wanted to keep myself busy with my hobbies but none other than being on KS worked and that's how this thread came to life lol

same, i also try to be grateful for everything i have, but with my current mindset it's also a double edged sword because the more i feel grateful about having a family who's my guiding light in this world, the more i realise that if i were to lose any of them i'd be a total wreck to say the least and wouldn't know what to do with myself. still, thank you so much for making me feel less lonely in this

 

[Ahsoka]

Ive thought about them in a kind of opposite way when younger. Back when my mental health was really bad it would be less so me thinking about others dying and more so thinking about others reactions to me dying. But I haven’t thought that way for a long time. Even now though I haven’t thought that much about close relatives dying, though very distant relatives sometimes just given the state of the world.

 

[StrayMixx]

Oh, Jules...

no, I can't say I've ever felt the same, but my life was at an all time low (a little pun to cheer you up?) last year. I wasn't taking care of myself, my apartment, wasn't going out... my depression and anxiety were eating me alive. I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but just pray. Maybe find a local church to go to - I promise getting closer to Jesus will change your life for the better.