Does having a preference mean that your bigoted? (1 Viewer)

[amourpinks]

I saw a post today on twitter about how cis people who don’t want to date a trans person are transphobic. I didn’t really understand this because isn’t that really a preference that they cannot control? Does having a preference automatically make you transphobic, racist, bigoted etc

me personally, I don’t think so. An example, I don’t Think that I would date a trans Women, of course, I respect them, would support them in their life and would wish nothing but the best for them. But it’s just something I’m not attracted to. I can’t control that and I don’t think that makes me transphobic... At the end of the day, the majority of trans people have not had bottom surgeries, it’s extremely expensive, very few plastic surgeons can actually perform the procedure and do it well, and not many have supportive families to be able to do that. and some simply don’t want bottom surgery for whatever reason. And that’s completely reasonable. But, you can’t expect someone who has a preference for a certain type of ahem genitals to be attracted to you if you don’t have those parts. They can not control who they are attracted to. And some people just aren’t attracted to trans people.

I am gay and I feel as though that would be the same as me calling a straight girl homophobic for not being attracted to me, the straight girl is not attracted to women, it is not a choice and it would be wrong for me to call her homophobic for something she can’t control.


this also applies to other things as well, would someone be racist if they had a preference for a certain race?

sorry for ranting about this but I feel as though I could not explain my point in a short explanation.

thoughts?

also I hope that I did not offend anyone who clicks on this thread, that was not my intention nor was it my intention to make anyone feel lesser then others, I just wanted to have a discussion about this topic. I also may not be able to respond because it’s like 2:30 am where I live lol

 

[honeyfornomoney]

o.o this is not true at all

 

[Sourcekeeper]

I don't think its transphobic when you are just not comfortable with it (dating), people are mixing things up with this, being racist in reality is like you dont like the person because of their color or whatever but this is just about who you prefer to date which is an entirely different thing. Its not like you are going out of your way to calling them out and hating on them.

 

[amourpinks]

I don't think its transphobic when you are just not comfortable with it (dating), people are mixing things up with this, being racist in reality is like you dont like the person because of their color or whatever but this is just about who you prefer to date which is an entirely different thing. Its not like you are going out of your way to calling them out and hating on them.

I agree exactly!

 

[kodoku]

Geez, people these days... everyone has their preferences and is free to do as they please, it doesn't have to do anything with any kind of discrimination .. it must be awful getting offended over even things like this so easily..

 

[DrowningFishy]

I saw a post today on twitter about how cis people who don’t want to date a trans person are transphobic. I didn’t really understand this because isn’t that really a preference that they cannot control? Does having a preference automatically make you transphobic, racist, bigoted etc

me personally, I don’t think so. An example, I don’t Think that I would date a trans Women, of course, I respect them, would support them in their life and would wish nothing but the best for them. But it’s just something I’m not attracted to. I can’t control that and I don’t think that makes me transphobic... At the end of the day, the majority of trans people have not had bottom surgeries, it’s extremely expensive, very few plastic surgeons can actually perform the procedure and do it well, and not many have supportive families to be able to do that. and some simply don’t want bottom surgery for whatever reason. And that’s completely reasonable. But, you can’t expect someone who has a preference for a certain type of ahem genitals to be attracted to you if you don’t have those parts. They can not control who they are attracted to. And some people just aren’t attracted to trans people.

I am gay and I feel as though that would be the same as me calling a straight girl homophobic for not being attracted to me, the straight girl is not attracted to women, it is not a choice and it would be wrong for me to call her homophobic for something she can’t control.


this also applies to other things as well, would someone be racist if they had a preference for a certain race?

sorry for ranting about this but I feel as though I could not explain my point in a short explanation.

thoughts?

also I hope that I did not offend anyone who clicks on this thread, that was not my intention nor was it my intention to make anyone feel lesser then others, I just wanted to have a discussion about this topic. I also may not be able to respond because it’s like 2:30 am where I live lol

It's not bigoted, and people who say it is are the ones who are what is wrong now day in age with society. I couldn't date a man who was once a woman because I prefer a working functioning baby making sausage. It has absolutely nothing to do with the other persons decision to switch genders.

 

[yeji]

everyone has their preference and it‘s all up to the person.

I am personally bi/pan and I honestly could care less about gender. I just love love and I am more attracted to the personality of someone.

 

[blueberries]

I guess the mindset with that is that transwomen are truly women and shouldn't be singled out? But I agree with the notion, especially what comes to well parts and u can't force someone to be attracted towards someone. However I wonder that what if you didn't know the person was trans? There is NikkITutorials for example who is famous youtuber make-upper and she revealed that shes' transwamen little while ago and lot of plp were surprised about it- honestly I had no idea either. So if you are first attracted to someone and later on find out they are trans and u wouldn't date them anymore, I don't know if that's prejudiced or not.

And what comes to race, I think preferences are perfectly fine, but for me it would be bit weird to hear someone saying "I wouldn't date asian men" or "I only date white men" if that makes sense.

These are just some thoughts on the topics so take them as grain of salt.

 

[Ashla_K]

Geez, people these days... everyone has their preferences and is free to do as they please, it doesn't have to do anything with any kind of discrimination .. it must be awful getting offended over even things like this so easily..

Exactly my thoughts. I just don't understand why people have to be overly critical about something so simple.

 

[jasque]

If it worked like that, most of society is bigot against me lol

 

[DrowningFishy]

I guess the mindset with that is that transwomen are truly women and shouldn't be singled out? But I agree with the notion, especially what comes to well parts and u can't force someone to be attracted towards someone. However I wonder that what if you didn't know the person was trans? There is NikkITutorials for example who is famous youtuber make-upper and she revealed that shes' transwamen little while ago and lot of plp were surprised about it- honestly I had no idea either. So if you are first attracted to someone and later on find out they are trans and u wouldn't date them anymore, I don't know if that's prejudiced or not.

And what comes to race, I think preferences are perfectly fine, but for me it would be bit weird to hear someone saying "I wouldn't date asian men" or "I only date white men" if that makes sense.

These are just some thoughts on the topics so take them as grain of salt.

Ah but it's like getting presents. You're all excited and happy then when you see what's under the paper you get hit with with a surprise. I'm to old to have kids probably so the whole baby making part doesn't matter. But if I found a hole I'll admit it'd be a turn off for me. Nothing to do with trans, just something around the lines of being incompatible in bed. You kids will understand why that matters later on in life. But if both partners end up pent up and unsatisfied it can trouble even the happiest of relationships after awhile. That's why communication in relationships is key even if you may find it embarrassing.

 

[amourpinks]

I guess the mindset with that is that transwomen are truly women and shouldn't be singled out? But I agree with the notion, especially what comes to well parts and u can't force someone to be attracted towards someone. However I wonder that what if you didn't know the person was trans? There is NikkITutorials for example who is famous youtuber make-upper and she revealed that shes' transwamen little while ago and lot of plp were surprised about it- honestly I had no idea either. So if you are first attracted to someone and later on find out they are trans and u wouldn't date them anymore, I don't know if that's prejudiced or not.

And what comes to race, I think preferences are perfectly fine, but for me it would be bit weird to hear someone saying "I wouldn't date asian men" or "I only date white men" if that makes sense.

These are just some thoughts on the topics so take them as grain of salt.

tbh I do think that trans people should make the people they're dating aware that they're trans as soon as they can, on the first date. If you go months with not telling your partner that and then wonder why they're hurt or mad at you when you do tell them, then that's on you. of course there are cases where people can become violent and that's how a lot of trans people get killed or abused, and they absolutely don't deserve that in any way shape or form. I personally would be sad, not because they're trans, but because they would have been lying to me the entire time I was with them. and like I said in my op, I am gay, and I don't like male parts, they gross me out, and the majority of trans people have not had bottom surgery, I don't think that I could go through with that.