Feeling Spiritually Annoyed (1 Viewer)

[Lovely_Cornchips]

Please don't come to this thread with hate
I genuinely just want to express my annoyance.
(TW homophobia & religious trauma)

I grew up Christian and I actually really loved it.
BUT my dad would use the tactic of "You have the Devil in you"
or "You're possessed"
on days when I'd be so exhausted that I would struggle to get out of bed on Sundays.
BUT the pastor we had at the time was beyond kind and open-minded
and I enjoyed youth group and EVERYTHING.

THEN we got a new pastor who was homophobic.
I never knew Homophobia was a thing.
My parents never talked about the LGBT+ community.
So imagine how upsetting it was to go from having a pastor
who was beyond kind and understanding and accepting
to one who was spewing so much hate and vitriol for innocent people?

I NEVER knew before this time that it's "typical"
for churches to gatekeep against those who are LGBT+
and to hate on this group of people who have done nothing wrong.

I wound up finding any excuse I could to not go to church
because I would end up leaving to go cry in the bathroom at times
because the shit this hateful man was spewing was awful.

Turns out I realize through high school that I'm definitely not straight.
But I was raised to believe God is a loving God.
That's how I few him and I don't believe he hates any of his children.
I still firmly believe in him.
But I don't go to church and my parents are both upset about it.
My sisters don't either.

But I'm at a point in my life where I have a personal relationship with God.
I don't need to go to church where a pastor or the people there
will shun me the second they realize I'm Bi.
When I know in my heart God loves me.
And I love him.
And all these people who spew hate for this group of people
are the epitome of disgusting and hateful.
Not at all what I was raised to believe about God and Christians.

I want to go to Church.
But I think at the same time it's been ruined for me.
I love my God and I know he loves his people and that includes those in the LGBT+ community.

If people actually did research and looked into the original text
they'd realize the line they quote and reference all the time
to justify their hate is actually about pedophiles
not those who are LGBT+.

I have a personal relationship with God
and that should be enough.
I shouldn't have to be a part of a church
that doesn't believe in a loving God
or a church that makes me feel hated and like I'm wrong for existing.


​

 

[Nina]

I have a personal relationship with God
and that should be enough.
I shouldn't have to be a part of a church
that doesn't believe in a loving God
or a church that makes me feel hated and like I'm wrong for existing.

This is the best view anyone can have believing in God. God and religion don’t teach you to hate. People teach people to hate. I don’t know your surroundings but maybe one day you’ll come across a new church or a new pastor.

 

[Tickita]

I'm sorry you had such an experience with that pastor - it sounds hurtful, and it's understandable that you feel annoyed. If that means you should step away from the church, then so be it. I hope you have peace, whether or not you go back to church. May God give you a clear path regarding this situation.

 

[dark_tranquility]

I had the same issue with the Homophobia, and my church hating LGBT+
They legit said "A big issue' was people being gay....

really.... I feel like their closeted homosexuals etc.
I quit the church after that and now I am an Atheist.

It's not god I have beef with.
It's people using him to say slender and hate.

God doesn't hate anyone.
So their preaching I hated.