- Joined
- 24 February 2019
- Messages
- 51,075
- Reactions Received
- 72,500
- Location
- Ahsoka’s Heart 💜
- Cards
- View Profile
- KS Coins
- 147,380
- Fandom
- ProfessorAthena
- Gender
- Female
- Pronouns
- She/her
- Ship
- Wreck
I’m only sharing the phrases to educate and suggest alternatives for these commonly used phrases 
This is not meant to shame anyone who has used these phrases. It’s meant as a teaching moment. This is not an exhaustive list, just a few examples.
“Are you blind?”
This is an ableist comment. Assuming visual impairment is synonymous with ignorance/carelessness. Ableist language perpetuates the inferiority of people with disabilities. At its core, it is oppressive, derogatory, and hurtful, no matter the intention behind its usage. Essentially, using the word “blind” that way isn’t kind, because it makes it seem like people who can’t see well are also not smart or don’t care—and that’s not true at all. When we use words like that, even if we don’t mean to be mean, it can still hurt people who have disabilities. It makes them feel like they’re less important or not as good as others. That’s why it’s important to use kind and respectful words for everyone. Instead say “are you aware of your surroundings?”, “do you need further instruction/assistance?”
“She is having a meltdown”
Saying someone is “having a meltdown” can sound like you're making fun of how they’re feeling, especially if they’re really upset or overwhelmed. That phrase is often used to describe how some people with autism or sensory issues react when things get too loud, confusing, or stressful. For them, a meltdown isn’t just being upset—it’s something their body and brain can’t control in the moment. When we use that phrase casually—like “Ugh, I’m having a meltdown because I forgot my keys!”—it can make light of what people with disabilities really go through. That’s why it’s kinder to use other words, like “I’m really stressed” or “I’m super frustrated.”
“That’s so ghetto”
Saying “that’s so ghetto” is hurtful because it makes fun of the way some people live—usually people who are poor or from certain racial or ethnic groups. When someone uses the word “ghetto” to describe something as ugly, cheap, or bad, it sends the message that people from those neighborhoods are less than others, which isn’t true or fair. It turns real struggles into jokes and keeps harmful stereotypes going. Using these terms implies a negative connotation toward people of a certain socio-economic class (often associated with racialized groups) — typically those who have recently immigrated and often move to large metropolis areas and not suburbs. Instead, it’s better to say exactly what you mean—like “That looks messy” or “That doesn’t work well”—without using words that insult where people come from.
“That’s my spirit animal”
Given the history and current oppression of Indigenous communities by settlers, metaphors English speakers casually use such as spirit animal can be a painful insult to Indigenous communities. Spiritual connection and reverence for nature and ancestors is deeply rooted across Indigenous cultures — and the phrase itself turns that concept into a casual catchphrase that isn't widely used, or even used at all, among Indigenous people. Instead, you can say things like “I really relate to that” or “That’s so me” without borrowing words that are sacred to someone else's culture.
“Lowest on the totem pole”
The phrase "lowest on the totem pole," casually meaning something is less important, not only is culturally appropriating the totem pole, but it's contextually wrong. Totem poles are tall wooden carvings made by some Indigenous peoples, especially in the Pacific Northwest. Each figure on a totem pole has an important meaning, and being at the bottom doesn't mean being less important. In fact, the bottom can sometimes hold the most support or significance. So using the phrase to mean "least important" is not only incorrect—it also misuses a sacred cultural symbol. It's better to say what you really mean, like “I’m the newest person on the team” or “I have the least power in the group,” without using words from a culture in a careless way.
“Are you tone deaf?”
“Tone deaf” is an actual term for people who have trouble hearing musical notes correctly. But when we use it to describe someone who’s being rude, clueless, or out of touch, it suggests that having that condition means you're also not thoughtful or smart—which isn’t true or fair. Instead, you can just say what you mean: “That comment seemed really insensitive” or “They don’t seem to understand what’s going on.”
“No comments from the peanut gallery”
Saying “peanut gallery” can be hurtful because it comes from a time when people used it to talk down to others, especially poor people and people of colour. The term started in old theaters, where the cheapest, worst seats—often for Black people or low-income folks—were called the “peanut gallery.” People in those seats were sometimes looked down on or not taken seriously. So when someone says, “No comments from the peanut gallery,” it can sound like they’re saying certain people’s opinions don’t matter. A better way to say it might be “Let’s stay focused,” or “Let’s keep side comments to a minimum,” without using a phrase with a hurtful history.
“Boys will be boys”
Saying “boys will be boys” can be a problem because it excuses bad behavior just because someone is a boy. People often say it when boys are being rough, mean, or disrespectful—like hitting, teasing, or breaking rules. But using that phrase sends the message that boys can’t or don’t have to be kind, respectful, or responsible. It teaches that boys don’t need to learn from their mistakes, and that it’s okay to hurt others because "that’s just how boys are." In reality, everyone—no matter their gender—should be held to the same standards of respect and kindness. It’s better to say what the behaviour is and why it’s not okay, like “That wasn’t respectful” or “Everyone should be treated kindly.”
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”
Saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” might sound harmless, but it can actually be hurtful—especially toward older people. This phrase suggests that older people can’t learn new things or change their ways, which isn’t true. People of all ages are capable of learning, growing, and trying new things. When we say this phrase, it can send the message that once someone gets older, they’re stuck or not smart enough to adapt—and that’s unfair and unkind. Instead, it’s better to encourage learning at any age. You can say something like “Change can be hard, but it’s possible,” or “It might take time, but anyone can learn something new.”
This is not meant to shame anyone who has used these phrases. It’s meant as a teaching moment. This is not an exhaustive list, just a few examples.
“Are you blind?”
This is an ableist comment. Assuming visual impairment is synonymous with ignorance/carelessness. Ableist language perpetuates the inferiority of people with disabilities. At its core, it is oppressive, derogatory, and hurtful, no matter the intention behind its usage. Essentially, using the word “blind” that way isn’t kind, because it makes it seem like people who can’t see well are also not smart or don’t care—and that’s not true at all. When we use words like that, even if we don’t mean to be mean, it can still hurt people who have disabilities. It makes them feel like they’re less important or not as good as others. That’s why it’s important to use kind and respectful words for everyone. Instead say “are you aware of your surroundings?”, “do you need further instruction/assistance?”
“She is having a meltdown”
Saying someone is “having a meltdown” can sound like you're making fun of how they’re feeling, especially if they’re really upset or overwhelmed. That phrase is often used to describe how some people with autism or sensory issues react when things get too loud, confusing, or stressful. For them, a meltdown isn’t just being upset—it’s something their body and brain can’t control in the moment. When we use that phrase casually—like “Ugh, I’m having a meltdown because I forgot my keys!”—it can make light of what people with disabilities really go through. That’s why it’s kinder to use other words, like “I’m really stressed” or “I’m super frustrated.”
“That’s so ghetto”
Saying “that’s so ghetto” is hurtful because it makes fun of the way some people live—usually people who are poor or from certain racial or ethnic groups. When someone uses the word “ghetto” to describe something as ugly, cheap, or bad, it sends the message that people from those neighborhoods are less than others, which isn’t true or fair. It turns real struggles into jokes and keeps harmful stereotypes going. Using these terms implies a negative connotation toward people of a certain socio-economic class (often associated with racialized groups) — typically those who have recently immigrated and often move to large metropolis areas and not suburbs. Instead, it’s better to say exactly what you mean—like “That looks messy” or “That doesn’t work well”—without using words that insult where people come from.
“That’s my spirit animal”
Given the history and current oppression of Indigenous communities by settlers, metaphors English speakers casually use such as spirit animal can be a painful insult to Indigenous communities. Spiritual connection and reverence for nature and ancestors is deeply rooted across Indigenous cultures — and the phrase itself turns that concept into a casual catchphrase that isn't widely used, or even used at all, among Indigenous people. Instead, you can say things like “I really relate to that” or “That’s so me” without borrowing words that are sacred to someone else's culture.
“Lowest on the totem pole”
The phrase "lowest on the totem pole," casually meaning something is less important, not only is culturally appropriating the totem pole, but it's contextually wrong. Totem poles are tall wooden carvings made by some Indigenous peoples, especially in the Pacific Northwest. Each figure on a totem pole has an important meaning, and being at the bottom doesn't mean being less important. In fact, the bottom can sometimes hold the most support or significance. So using the phrase to mean "least important" is not only incorrect—it also misuses a sacred cultural symbol. It's better to say what you really mean, like “I’m the newest person on the team” or “I have the least power in the group,” without using words from a culture in a careless way.
“Are you tone deaf?”
“Tone deaf” is an actual term for people who have trouble hearing musical notes correctly. But when we use it to describe someone who’s being rude, clueless, or out of touch, it suggests that having that condition means you're also not thoughtful or smart—which isn’t true or fair. Instead, you can just say what you mean: “That comment seemed really insensitive” or “They don’t seem to understand what’s going on.”
“No comments from the peanut gallery”
Saying “peanut gallery” can be hurtful because it comes from a time when people used it to talk down to others, especially poor people and people of colour. The term started in old theaters, where the cheapest, worst seats—often for Black people or low-income folks—were called the “peanut gallery.” People in those seats were sometimes looked down on or not taken seriously. So when someone says, “No comments from the peanut gallery,” it can sound like they’re saying certain people’s opinions don’t matter. A better way to say it might be “Let’s stay focused,” or “Let’s keep side comments to a minimum,” without using a phrase with a hurtful history.
“Boys will be boys”
Saying “boys will be boys” can be a problem because it excuses bad behavior just because someone is a boy. People often say it when boys are being rough, mean, or disrespectful—like hitting, teasing, or breaking rules. But using that phrase sends the message that boys can’t or don’t have to be kind, respectful, or responsible. It teaches that boys don’t need to learn from their mistakes, and that it’s okay to hurt others because "that’s just how boys are." In reality, everyone—no matter their gender—should be held to the same standards of respect and kindness. It’s better to say what the behaviour is and why it’s not okay, like “That wasn’t respectful” or “Everyone should be treated kindly.”
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”
Saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” might sound harmless, but it can actually be hurtful—especially toward older people. This phrase suggests that older people can’t learn new things or change their ways, which isn’t true. People of all ages are capable of learning, growing, and trying new things. When we say this phrase, it can send the message that once someone gets older, they’re stuck or not smart enough to adapt—and that’s unfair and unkind. Instead, it’s better to encourage learning at any age. You can say something like “Change can be hard, but it’s possible,” or “It might take time, but anyone can learn something new.”
