Sensitive How does your sexuality affect you? (1 Viewer)

[Day]

Warning: I'm dumping my emotions in this thread because it's on my mind a lot lately. You are not obligated to read or reply to them, they are here to offer context, and you're welcome to skip that portion.

How does your sexuality affect you?
And did you ever have a hard time with it?

Spoiler: Emotional dump

Context: For a long time (up until about last year) I identified as straight, and even as bisexual for a small period of time, because I had been in relationships (online) with both men and women, but TikTok introduced me to asexuals and aromantics as well as the spectrum (I knew they existed before, but my understanding was limited). I have never felt physical attraction to men or women in my life, and I've always preferred online relationships to physical ones because I'm so uncomfortable with people in real life.

I got peer pressured into dating a male coworker of mine at the beginning of 2020 (?) and I think I betrayed myself by going out with him. When we kissed for the first time, which was about seven months into us talking and four months of us dating, I was disgusted and wanted to throw up. This was the moment I knew I had to break up with him. I was not physically attracted to this man and I found him disgusting, which also may have been part of it.

Now, I define myself as asexual, and I'm still warming up to the idea of being aromantic as well. This affects me a lot in my life because all around me in the media, online, and even in my close friends circle sex has always been something celebrated and been a key factor linking individuals together. I'll bring up a work of fiction because I'm rewatching it for the 5th time - Grey's Anatomy - as an example of media that makes me feel left out and like something's wrong with me. I wish there was more representation of asexuals in the media.

 

[doll]

My sexuality really doesnt affect me
Ive known my feelings since i was very very young, im attracted to males and females
And there is nothing wrong with that, and if someone doesnt like it, it has nothing to do with me personally.
irdk what to say just that im pansexual and i always have been lmfao

 

[Day]

My sexuality really doesnt affect me
Ive known my feelings since i was very very young, im attracted to males and females
And there is nothing wrong with that, and if someone doesnt like it, it has nothing to do with me personally.
irdk what to say just that im pansexual and i always have been lmfao

I envy you and I love your iron resolution

 

[athenaaa]

I relate to what you say to some degree. I’m asexual myself and I struggled with that a lot. I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t into what others were. I was with partners in the past who expected sex, and I did it to please them but I know now that sex is not an important part of a relationship. I wish we had more representation in media. I also struggled because my romantic orientation is different than my sexuality. I’m questioning my romantic orientation again and it is difficult to come to terms with that because I feel like I’m too old to be questioning. I thought I was biromantic but I might be lesbian. But I’ve dated men so that’s confusing.

 

[Day]

I relate to what you say to some degree. I’m asexual myself and I struggled with that a lot. I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t into what others were. I was with partners in the past who expected sex, and I did it to please them but I know now that sex is not an important part of a relationship. I wish we had more representation in media. I also struggled because my romantic orientation is different than my sexuality. I’m questioning my romantic orientation again and it is difficult to come to terms with that because I feel like I’m too old to be questioning. I thought I was biromantic but I might be lesbian. But I’ve dated men so that’s confusing.

I wish this wasn't so hard to figure out, like where's the cookie-cutter answer I need
But it helps to hear from asexuals who validate my experiences and make me feel normal, I appreciate you so much Heart. I wish I could help you but I'm just as confused

 

[athenaaa]

I wish this wasn't so hard to figure out, like where's the cookie-cutter answer I need
But it helps to hear from asexuals who validate my experiences and make me feel normal, I appreciate you so much Heart. I wish I could help you but I'm just as confused

I wish it was simple as this “am I gay?” quizzes made them out to be lmaooo I’m the same way, it really does help to feel validated and like we aren’t alone. I appreciate you so much too, Daisy.

 

[Yili]

Since I don't label myself publicly, I am just seen as straight since I have a boyfriend therefore I can skate by without people asking me what I am or who I am into. However I don't identify as straight and I think not having a label makes me feel free to be who I am since I have never found a label that describes me.

 

[Day]

Since I don't label myself publicly, I am just seen as straight since I have a boyfriend therefore I can skate by without people asking me what I am or who I am into. However I don't identify as straight and I think not having a label makes me feel free to be who I am since I have never found a label that describes me.

Yili, I find that very honorable. Continue to be awesome.

 

[Yili]

Yili, I find that very honorable. Continue to be awesome.

Your journey is very amazing too, whatever you need to do to find the answers that make you happy ^^

 

[princesita]

Spoiler: deep stuff

It affects me in the way that I just can never be open about my relationships with my family. I usually date online because it's easier to hide from my family. For context, I am trans FTM omni-romantic (like pansexual but with preferences in gender, short answer) but not out to my family yet so yea. I know I like all kinds of people except men, always have. My family is divided, one side is open minded and some are even LBGTQIA+ but the other side is like wildly homophobic. Unfortunately the side of the family I am directly related to is the wildly homophobic side. My grandma is a Jehovah's witness and she has been telling me my entire life that if I am gay I will for sure burn in hell and I can only avoid it if I turn myself over to God or whatever. When I did come out when I was like 13 it was supposed to be just for my mom to know but somehow it got to my aunt and she told my grandma so I got a REALLY LONG talk about the Bible, how God loves me, and how "I am just gay because it's a trend". Back then I used to identify as bisexual and I didn't realize that I was trans yet. To add to it, my whole family is super close and love telling each other everything. A lot of my most homophobic family members love me most for some reason. Now I got to worry about not disappointing my entire family while trying to keep my personal under tight wraps. I don't mind, I don't feel the need to come out or anything just wish my dad and brother wouldn't call every trans person they see a "it" or "thing".

In conclusion, I deserve my own Hannah Montana kind of show

 

[Day]

Spoiler: deep stuff

It affects me in the way that I just can never be open about my relationships with my family. I usually date online because it's easier to hide from my family. For context, I am trans FTM omni-romantic (like pansexual but with preferences in gender, short answer) but not out to my family yet so yea. I know I like all kinds of people except men, always have. My family is divided, one side is open minded and some are even LBGTQIA+ but the other side is like wildly homophobic. Unfortunately the side of the family I am directly related to is the wildly homophobic side. My grandma is a Jehovah's witness and she has been telling me my entire life that if I am gay I will for sure burn in hell and I can only avoid it if I turn myself over to God or whatever. When I did come out when I was like 13 it was supposed to be just for my mom to know but somehow it got to my aunt and she told my grandma so I got a REALLY LONG talk about the Bible, how God loves me, and how "I am just gay because it's a trend". Back then I used to identify as bisexual and I didn't realize that I was trans yet. To add to it, my whole family is super close and love telling each other everything. A lot of my most homophobic family members love me most for some reason. Now I got to worry about not disappointing my entire family while trying to keep my personal under tight wraps. I don't mind, I don't feel the need to come out or anything just wish my dad and brother wouldn't call every trans person they see a "it" or "thing".

In conclusion, I deserve my own Hannah Montana kind of show

Spoiler

Thanks for sharing and I'm deeply sorry for the environment you're in. I do admire you for knowing yourself and, for that, I look up to you as a very strong individual. I don't know what your religion is, so I won't speak on that, but I do believe that the best "you" you can be is yourself, in your truest and most pure form. Maybe your family doesn't deserve to know the real you due to their prejudice and misjudgment. I hope you always have the strength to stay true to yourself. Take inspiration from Giles Corey and always ask for "more weight".

 

[Ahsoka]

Well my grandma did scream at me for half an hour about how gay people deserve to die and go to hell because I implied that I was not straight so that was fun
Even dated a guy after that to try to be straight, didn’t turn out well, but now I’m in a happy relationship and my grandma can deal with it.

 

[Day]

Well my grandma did scream at me for half an hour about how gay people deserve to die and go to hell because I implied that I was not straight so that was fun
Even dated a guy after that to try to be straight, didn’t turn out well, but now I’m in a happy relationship and my grandma can deal with it.

I'm sorry you were pressured into dating someone you had no interest in to conform to your strict grandmother, but I am happy that you're now in a better place. Being your true self is hard and I admire your ability to shine despite her harshness.

 

[NBW]

it didnt affect me probs the most likely way, but i was always told i was handsome and theres the stereotype with straight guys that if a girl wants to date u, u just take advantage. i never did that. i had my number of crushes and all, but ig the stereotype did affect me, cause people would ask me "are u gay?", just for the fact i wasnt humping every girl that was into me. i took my chances at times, but never felt forced by myself to do anything i didnt want, but others put a lot of pressure on me. i think that made me do a couple rush decisions at times, but well... im glad how it turned out, cause im living how i want to now and have a beautiful gf that nobody forced me upon

 

[Day]

it didnt affect me probs the most likely way, but i was always told i was handsome and theres the stereotype with straight guys that if a girl wants to date u, u just take advantage. i never did that. i had my number of crushes and all, but ig the stereotype did affect me, cause people would ask me "are u gay?", just for the fact i wasnt humping every girl that was into me. i took my chances at times, but never felt forced by myself to do anything i didnt want, but others put a lot of pressure on me. i think that made me do a couple rush decisions at times, but well... im glad how it turned out, cause im living how i want to now and have a beautiful gf that nobody forced me upon

I'm sorry to hear you were pressured into things you didn't want to do, but I'm also glad you're in a happy relationship now.

 

[NBW]

I'm sorry to hear you were pressured into things you didn't want to do, but I'm also glad you're in a happy relationship now.

it was weird fr. theres about 6 or 7 situations i really remember. maybe more if i think bout it
ugliest one was for sure a girl i was friends with saying the reason i wasnt dating every girl i could was cause my dad died and i had no male guidance lol she said that behind my back, but to my male friends, which snitched immediately. the others r just bs compared to that

 

[HelloGoodbyeDie]

I am not a fan of the stereotypes.

Like if a guy wears pink he has to be gay.
it annoys me to no end.

 

[eclipsoul]

it doesn't affect me at all tbh, i just happen to like women instead of men but it's not an important aspect of my personality. there are homophobic people in my country but they are literally everywhere so i ignore any hateful people around me as they're not worth my energy. however it does annoy me when people say "oh you're sexuality so you probably like thing and wear thing" like no idgaf about girl in red! who the fuck is that??

 

[Magician]

it doesn't affect me at all
If I fall in love with a man then it's cool and if I fall in love with a woman then it’s also cool
I'm pretty relaxed and I will see what the future holds