I don’t know if I’ll ever get the old me back (1 Viewer)

[Wingfrost]

Don’t mind me I’ve just been really stressed today and needed to...I guess express it in some way.

When I was younger (from 6-10) I was really outgoing, very carefree, had wonderful friendships and many things I loved doing. I was shy at first when meeting someone but after a few times I’d be completely comfortable. After some things that happened in my life I started to isolate myself from society, which ended up leading into depression and severe anxiety. These past few years I’ve been really striving for happiness, trying to make friends and whatnot and some days I do okay. But there are other days where I can’t even bring myself to go into a grocery store, or to just get out of bed. For a few months now I’ve also been on some medication, and my mom keeps telling me that I’m doing better and I thought “Yes I’ll finally get back that part of me when I was younger” because ever since I’ve struggled with my mental health I always imagine having that all back. Friends, feeling comfortable in myself and around others. Not having to deal with anxiety attacks, or fearing that someone is going to come up and start a conversation with me. But I still don’t have that part of me back, and I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate not being happy. I hate not having irl friends. I hate crying myself to sleep or just staying awake in the middle of the night because I’m terrified of what the next day will bring. It’s like I’m left with this tainted part of myself that I can never get away from, even if just for a second I feel a burst of happiness I know that it’s short lived.

I’m sorry that this is long and over emotional. I just feel so stuck, I constantly am brought back to the realization that I’m always going to have anxiety and depression and I just want it to all end. I just want to be genuinely happy again.

 

[Ahsoka]

I'm sorry you feel that way, I also have similar thoughts sometimes. But what I've learned is that it's kind of futile comparing yourself to your younger version. Young you may have been carefree and happy, but younger you also had your flaws and that's okay. Everyone begins to feel more stress as they grow up because they leave the sheltered world of little kids and become adults, though obviously not everyone has it as hard as you do. What's important isnt being a younger version of yourself, but being a better version of the person you were yesterday. Sometimes it won't work and some days you'll struggle, but don't beat yourself up about that. It may seem like regressing but there's a difference between having one day where you don't have energy and going weeks without even trying to get the energy and motivation. As long as you're trying, you're doing yourself a service.

I'm sorry if this doesn't help, it's just some of the things I've picked up on with my own struggles. I know I'm not the greatest person to help tbh, but at the very least I want you to know that you aren't doomed or hopeless. The fact that you're even a bit better, even if it's from medication, shows how strong and capable you are as a person. Stay strong and don't give up, even if it feels like the only choice

 

[izcream]

I hate crying myself to sleep or just staying awake in the middle of the night because I’m terrified of what the next day will bring. It’s like I’m left with this tainted part of myself that I can never get away from, even if just for a second I feel a burst of happiness I know that it’s short lived.

damn , i lowkey relate to this ngl

 

[RainbowDevil]

I'd also like to tell you that you don't have to be that same person, you may want to but if you one day like who you are but you aren't the same as before, that's not a bad thing.

Can't comment on much else but I hope it really does get better

 

[dark_tranquility]

Don’t mind me I’ve just been really stressed today and needed to...I guess express it in some way.

When I was younger (from 6-10) I was really outgoing, very carefree, had wonderful friendships and many things I loved doing. I was shy at first when meeting someone but after a few times I’d be completely comfortable. After some things that happened in my life I started to isolate myself from society, which ended up leading into depression and severe anxiety. These past few years I’ve been really striving for happiness, trying to make friends and whatnot and some days I do okay. But there are other days where I can’t even bring myself to go into a grocery store, or to just get out of bed. For a few months now I’ve also been on some medication, and my mom keeps telling me that I’m doing better and I thought “Yes I’ll finally get back that part of me when I was younger” because ever since I’ve struggled with my mental health I always imagine having that all back. Friends, feeling comfortable in myself and around others. Not having to deal with anxiety attacks, or fearing that someone is going to come up and start a conversation with me. But I still don’t have that part of me back, and I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate not being happy. I hate not having irl friends. I hate crying myself to sleep or just staying awake in the middle of the night because I’m terrified of what the next day will bring. It’s like I’m left with this tainted part of myself that I can never get away from, even if just for a second I feel a burst of happiness I know that it’s short lived.

I’m sorry that this is long and over emotional. I just feel so stuck, I constantly am brought back to the realization that I’m always going to have anxiety and depression and I just want it to all end. I just want to be genuinely happy again.

I just felt like this just now and It hurts. I feel a struggle with mental health as well. :( It is so annoying when it stops you from doing stuff you love
as well as having friends is hard and keeping them as well. I will be your friend and support you. :)

I know we don't talk much. But you can always message me and I will be there for you. Just because we have distance, doesn't mean we can't' be friends.

 

[DrowningFishy]

Don’t mind me I’ve just been really stressed today and needed to...I guess express it in some way.

When I was younger (from 6-10) I was really outgoing, very carefree, had wonderful friendships and many things I loved doing. I was shy at first when meeting someone but after a few times I’d be completely comfortable. After some things that happened in my life I started to isolate myself from society, which ended up leading into depression and severe anxiety. These past few years I’ve been really striving for happiness, trying to make friends and whatnot and some days I do okay. But there are other days where I can’t even bring myself to go into a grocery store, or to just get out of bed. For a few months now I’ve also been on some medication, and my mom keeps telling me that I’m doing better and I thought “Yes I’ll finally get back that part of me when I was younger” because ever since I’ve struggled with my mental health I always imagine having that all back. Friends, feeling comfortable in myself and around others. Not having to deal with anxiety attacks, or fearing that someone is going to come up and start a conversation with me. But I still don’t have that part of me back, and I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate not being happy. I hate not having irl friends. I hate crying myself to sleep or just staying awake in the middle of the night because I’m terrified of what the next day will bring. It’s like I’m left with this tainted part of myself that I can never get away from, even if just for a second I feel a burst of happiness I know that it’s short lived.

I’m sorry that this is long and over emotional. I just feel so stuck, I constantly am brought back to the realization that I’m always going to have anxiety and depression and I just want it to all end. I just want to be genuinely happy again.

Our minds can be stubborn pain in the arse. I suffer with anxiety and depression and you know given up on making friends part. You shouldn't though What you should do is find a away to check yourself when your dpression sets in. You sound like you can tell when yoru headed for a down slope. Find something that would make you laugh and keep telling yourself good things when depression sets in. You're young don't give into depression easily make it fight to take you down. It's not about getting over it, it's learning to live with it. And if learning to live with it is very hard then hopefully you have someone to see.

Don't be scared of the next day, that is one bad thing to have. End your day on a happy note and find something you did good that day even if ti's eating yoru veggies.

 

[kodoku]

aw I really feel you, dear....... anxiety and depression are something I've been dealing with all my life too, you are not alone <3 none of us will always stay the same, we all change and the things around us change too... it's scary but also beautiful and hopeful.. I miss the innocence of my early days too tbh.. but I want you to know that it's okay to feel this way and that you are so much more than your struggles. You're probably doing much better than you think anyway, some days are just tougher than others and please don't apologize, your feelings are valid and it's ok to express how you truly feel. I think that both the better and the less good days are necessary for our growth and I believe you will go much farther than you can imagine right now... if things become too much (and even if they don't), know you can always talk to me <3

and maybe you'll like this song, what you said made me think of it hehe....

 

[yeji]

oh hun. times may be challenging but I know you are such a strong and loving individual. it’s human nature to compare- even if it is something regarding your younger self and you - but just think about all the great things you do have now and you definitely have also all our support and care.