I got asked a very interesting question today (1 Viewer)

[Ahsoka]

Basically I was talking with my grandma over the phone, and the topic of my study abroad I did in college came up. I always think I’m prepared for her questions, but this time had me just
She asked me “are you sure the reason your depression began wasn’t because you studies abroad in the UAE?”
Private thoughts aside, I had been hospitalized psychiatrically the prior school year, was on medications for my depression before even that, and not to mention I was actually very excited about studying abroad before (and after) I went. So I have almost no idea where she pulled that out of (I do think it might have to do with her dislike of Arabs, but I don’t have proof of that).
Extra rich that it came from her too, considering how her homophobic comments and tirades affected me (a homoromantic asexual) from a much younger age as well. Long story short she got mad at something I said and went on a very anger filled rant, and me not wanting to cause problems with family tried to turn myself straight. Ofc it failed. But I digress

Anyone had any way out of left field questions you want to share?

 

[centen]

I'm sorry your grandma is so difficult. That has to be hard to decide how much to subject yourself to her.


For the actual thread topic: I'm usually the one asking my friends the out of left field questions. I read a lot and listen to a lot of podcasts, so it always gives me something to mentally chew on.

 

[dark_tranquility]

My step mother and my grandmother, thought it was weird when I dressed in women's clothing.
They used the term not normal. Which I hated because I was judged.

 

[Ahsoka]

I'm sorry your grandma is so difficult. That has to be hard to decide how much to subject yourself to her.


For the actual thread topic: I'm usually the one asking my friends the out of left field questions. I read a lot and listen to a lot of podcasts, so it always gives me something to mentally chew on.

She’s gotten better, I do have to give her credit for that. And she also lives far away (Germany) so our talks are less frequent. I’ve accepted I need to deal with her and get over what she’s done, for the sake of my family as a whole. It used to be harder tbh, now I just steer clear of touchy subjects if I can.

 

[Ahsoka]

My step mother and my grandmother, thought it was weird when I dressed in women's clothing.
They used the term not normal. Which I hated because I was judged.

Idiots love to say something is “not normal”. That sucks that they acted that way to you. But the problem is in their close mindedness and not in what you’re doing, so ignoring them is probably the best way to deal with it

 

[dark_tranquility]

Idiots love to say something is “not normal”. That sucks that they acted that way to you. But the problem is in their close mindedness and not in what you’re doing, so ignoring them is probably the best way to deal with it

True. I was so self conscious I just went back to wearing guys clothes.
Maybe one day people will accept me.

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

My boyfriend once asked if I thought I was a narcissist.
That felt very out of left field.

 

[Pirioca]

When I was about 13 years old I had long brunette hair. It fell over my shoulders and back. I also had natural curls. I looked like the young Kirk Hammett (guitarist of Metallica, see his photo below). Maybe even a bit more feminine. So there were people that asked me if I'm a boy or a girl. There was even a new neighbour telling my mother: "You have a very nice daughter...". And nope, I have no sister.
Did it burden me? At the beginning, but then I thought to myself that some people in my neigborhood are just blind, brain-dead - or both.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

When I was about 13 years old I had long brunette hair. It fell over my shoulders and back. I also had natural curls. I looked like the young Kirk Hammett (guitarist of Metallica, see his photo below). Maybe even a bit more feminine. So there are people that asked me if I'm a boy or a girl. There was even a new neighbour telling my mother: "You have a very nice daughter...". And nope, I have no sister.
Did it burden me? At the beginning, but then I thought to myself that some people in my neigborhood are just blind, brain-dead - or both.

Wow, you totally had the 80's hair band rocker look down!


I don't even know where to start. I'm to black sheep in my family on both sides so I get and have been questioned about many things. I think this is one reason I just stay away from extended family. I'd like to say I'm immune to the fear of being judged but I'm not. I don't care about how the world judges me. But family still hurts. I've learned to smile, nod, give the best answer I feel comfortable giving and let it go. Sometimes I go with the, well, if you don't like the answer I'm about to give you shouldn't of asked and proceed to enjoy the shock and awe. I had a period in my life where I thought I was transgender. I am not. In my case it was a lot of depression and way to desperately explain myself to the world. I was suicidal. Luckily I'm a coward and afraid to meet my maker! My family was supportive but only out of obligation. The question's I've had to endure would take to long to list but you can imagine or I'm sure some of you have experienced. I always tended to love things that weren't for boys. As a kid I was a huge Sailor Moon fan. My collection took first place in the county fair 3 years in a row! All my friends were always girls. It's funny now that I understand myself I can see how so many men are desperate to feel like a man but have no clue it has nothing to do with a big truck, or muscles, or how man women you've slept with. Honestly, it's only been in the last 5-8 years that I really began feeling comfortable with myself. I actually have some happiness with life. I can't tell you all how much meeting you guys has made a positive change in me. The courage you guys display by simply being yourselves is humbling sometimes.

Everyone watch this video. Every word of it is true for all of you!

 

[dark_tranquility]

When I was about 13 years old I had long brunette hair. It fell over my shoulders and back. I also had natural curls. I looked like the young Kirk Hammett (guitarist of Metallica, see his photo below). Maybe even a bit more feminine. So there were people that asked me if I'm a boy or a girl. There was even a new neighbour telling my mother: "You have a very nice daughter...". And nope, I have no sister.
Did it burden me? At the beginning, but then I thought to myself that some people in my neigborhood are just blind, brain-dead - or both.

It could work to your advantage??? Like job wise and people not being bigoted.

 

[Pirioca]

Wow, you totally had the 80's hair band rocker look down!


I don't even know where to start. I'm to black sheep in my family on both sides so I get and have been questioned about many things. I think this is one reason I just stay away from extended family. I'd like to say I'm immune to the fear of being judged but I'm not. I don't care about how the world judges me. But family still hurts. I've learned to smile, nod, give the best answer I feel comfortable giving and let it go. Sometimes I go with the, well, if you don't like the answer I'm about to give you shouldn't of asked and proceed to enjoy the shock and awe. I had a period in my life where I thought I was transgender. I am not. In my case it was a lot of depression and way to desperately explain myself to the world. I was suicidal. Luckily I'm a coward and afraid to meet my maker! My family was supportive but only out of obligation. The question's I've had to endure would take to long to list but you can imagine or I'm sure some of you have experienced. I always tended to love things that weren't for boys. As a kid I was a huge Sailor Moon fan. My collection took first place in the county fair 3 years in a row! All my friends were always girls. It's funny now that I understand myself I can see how so many men are desperate to feel like a man but have no clue it has nothing to do with a big truck, or muscles, or how man women you've slept with. Honestly, it's only been in the last 5-8 years that I really began feeling comfortable with myself. I actually have some happiness with life. I can't tell you all how much meeting you guys has made a positive change in me. The courage you guys display by simply being yourselves is humbling sometimes.

Everyone watch this video. Every word of it is true for all of you!

Amazing comment!

A year ago I was nearly done with the internet forums I knew, because I had enough of all this stereotypical thinking and the popular opinions. And the grumbling when you have an unpopular opinion.

Then I started listening to K-Pop. And I had the feeling that I had missed this music all my life. You can be an older Metal fan in Germany and everything's fine. You can be a young K-Pop fan in Germany and it's ok too. But you can't be an older Metal fan that also listens to K-Pop, if you want to feel understood.

I left the forums I visited regularly and thought about doing my own thing. I even planned starting my own German K-Pop forum. But in the end I decided to left all internet communities behind.

The funny thing is: The day I wanted to put this plan into practice I browsed the news at AKP and out of an inner impulse I signed up at the AKP forums. I was just curious about the community and gave AKP a chance. Then I met many of you there, and bunnyviolet showed me KPS. Otherwise I would never meet you (again) here.

 

[Pirioca]

It could work to your advantage??? Like job wise and people not being bigoted.

It would have worked regarding dating girls for sure, but I was rather shy.

And today ... unfortunately I don't have long hair and a smooth skin anymore.

Now I look more like David Dreiman from Disturbed.

 

[ichigohon]

Nothing quite like that, but I got asked a lot in Australia if I slept with black men because I'm from Atlanta. It always made me uneasy because it was never a casual question and it was asked in a way that made it seem risque which made me feel very uncomfortable.

Spoiler: slightly PG-13 content

I'm from Atlanta. Of course I've slept with black men. It would be weird if I hadn't.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Amazing comment!

A year ago I was nearly done with the internet forums I knew, because I had enough of all this stereotypical thinking and the popular opinions. And the grumbling when you have an unpopular opinion.

Then I started listening to K-Pop. And I had the feeling that I had missed this music all my life. You can be an older Metal fan in Germany and everything's fine. You can be a young K-Pop fan in Germany and it's ok too. But you can't be an older Metal fan that also listens to K-Pop, if you want to feel understood.

I left the forums I visited regularly and thought about doing my own thing. I even planned starting my own German K-Pop forum. But in the end I decided to left all internet communities behind.

The funny thing is: The day I wanted to put this plan into practice I browsed the news at AKP and out of an inner impulse I signed up at the AKP forums. I was just curious about the community and gave AKP a chance. Then I met many of you there, and bunnyviolet showed me KPS. Otherwise I would never meet you (again) here.

K-Pop will one day bring world peace, end hunger and bring an end to global warming.

And once again, @bunnyviolet is to blame for people not being able to escape my amazing personality! I'd rather be found to be weird and happy for liking K-Pop and normal and sad for denying it!

 

[the101]

This thread makes me so sad that people are so determined that everyone should be as unhappy as they are, so they intentionally set out to say and do harmful things.

socially distanced air hugs to everyone in the thread

@Vikki I'm sorry you can't remove the toxicity in your life. I hope you are in a better space in your life now.
@_Enid_Sinclair_ I hope you can find a safe space to explore! Everyone deserves to feel beautiful in every way. 💚
@ApinksBadPanda I'm sorry you've had so many struggles but glad to hear you're in a better place now.

To answer the question, I was once out having after work drinks at a conference (when everyone is just chit chatting and letting loose) and we were talking about going and doing something else and apropos of nothing, someone said to me, "You look like the kind of girl that likes to go to strip clubs. Am I right?"

 

[Myth]

K-Pop will one day bring world peace, end hunger and bring an end to global warming.

And once again, @bunnyviolet is to blame for people not being able to escape my amazing personality! I'd rather be found to be weird and happy for liking K-Pop and normal and sad for denying it!

hmmm That key is going to be lost forever at this rate... very unfortunate

 

[ani07]

if that was my family I would have said: ' no you were the reason'.
but it took a long way for me to be at that point too.