I have a question (1 Viewer)

[The_LastRomeo]

It's about a situation I've encountered.
My dad lied on me and my siblings and said that when we break things, we don't (and have never) apologize(d). We said "Thats not true, only [insert sibling here] doesn't". Ps this sibling is his favorite child and is a problem child that has gotten away with literal abuse.
He says "Nah i've never heard you guys apologize." and I said "Thats because you choose not to hear it." He flies across the room and starts screaming in my face to shut up and "watch my goddamn mouth" saying I'm getting out of line. My second older brother steps in and says "Getting in a woman's face again?" (Yes this isn't the first time it has happened), then he starts screaming in his face and shoving him telling him to never interfere with his discipline. The next day he takes me aside (much to my dismay) and asks me if I didn't find anything wrong with what I said and I said no, now I case you are wondering I haven't had my phone in a week because he took it right after (Which is why im not active as much).

So should I apologize for what I said or should I leave it alone and just suffer without a phone?

 

[kisshuhua09baby]

It's about a situation I've encountered.
My dad lied on me and my siblings and said that when we break things, we don't (and have never) apologize(d). We said "Thats not true, only [insert sibling here] doesn't". Ps this sibling is his favorite child and is a problem child that has gotten away with literal abuse.
He says "Nah i've never heard you guys apologize." and I said "Thats because you choose not to hear it." He flies across the room and starts screaming in my face to shut up and "watch my goddamn mouth" saying I'm getting out of line. My second older brother steps in and says "Getting in a woman's face again?" (Yes this isn't the first time it has happened), then he starts screaming in his face and shoving him telling him to never interfere with his discipline. The next day he takes me aside (much to my dismay) and asks me if I didn't find anything wrong with what I said and I said no, now I case you are wondering I haven't had my phone in a week because he took it right after (Which is why im not active as much).

So should I apologize for what I said or should I leave it alone and just suffer without a phone?

I know there might not be much you can do about it but, this can NOT continue on. If I were you would fake apologize to get him off my back but if you're still in school tell the counselor or a teacher. If you know a number for a helpline of any sort text or call them (ofc this would have to be in secret given your situation and they'll advise you further. This isn't okay. Bless you child, bless you

 

[The_LastRomeo]

I know there might not be much you can do about it but, this can NOT continue on. If I were you would fake apologize to get him off my back but if you're still in school tell the counselor or a teacher. If you know a number for a helpline of any sort text or call them (ofc this would have to be in secret given your situation and they'll advise you further. This isn't okay. Bless you child, bless you

My brothers keep telling to fake apologize because then id be proving him right about the not apologizing thing but my pride won't let me, I'm not mad about the situation but he is, he's acting like he's affected by all of it and is ignoring me. I am currently just avoiding him, I sneak on the pc every now and then too. I can't ask for help because I don't want to ruin the family, I don't want anyone to resent me for it.

 

[Selfmate]

umm....mate that's literal abuse

the question is can you leave the situation?
are you reliant on your father for financial support?

 

[The_LastRomeo]

umm....mate that's literal abuse

the question is can you leave the situation?
are you reliant on your father for financial support?

No, I can't leave and yes I'm completely dependent on him unfortunately

 

[Selfmate]

No, I can't leave and yes I'm completely dependent on him unfortunately

then you should do everything in your power to protect yourself and if that means fake apologizing or whatever do it...
you should also take steps to have a getaway bag in case things really turn to shit
you should also take steps to be financial independent if you can

 

[The_LastRomeo]

then you should do everything in your power to protect yourself and if that means fake apologizing or whatever do it...
you should also take steps to have a getaway bag in case things really turn to shit
you should also take steps to be financial independent if you can

I mean ig, I don't even have an ID yet so I don't really know how I could be financially stable, I'm definitely not going to run away because I have no where to go lol

 

[Selfmate]

I mean ig, I don't even have an ID yet so I don't really know how I could be financially stable, I'm definitely not going to run away because I have no where to go lol

you say that but he literally put hands on you...I'm pretty sure that is not the first time...

well you should seek out friends or other family who might take you in since there is always the possibility of things escalating

 

[The_LastRomeo]

you say that but he literally put hands on you...I'm pretty sure that is not the first time...

well you should seek out friends or other family who might take you in since there is always the possibility of things escalating

Nah he didn't touch me he shoved my brother to "assert dominance" ig
Everyone is on my side except the fav child so if something were to happen my brothers and probably my mom will be on it (My mom can actually fight)

 

[Selfmate]

Nah he didn't touch me he shoved my brother to "assert dominance" ig
Everyone is on my side except the fav child so if something were to happen my brothers and probably my mom will be on it (My mom can actually fight)

I don't mean any offense but have you let your mother know and why is she still with him?

 

[The_LastRomeo]

I don't mean any offense but have you let your mother know and why is she still with him?

...
My mom was there...
I wont answer that other question..

 

[Selfmate]

...
My mom was there...
I wont answer that other question..

that's perfectly understandable my friend
just stay safe and protect yourself ok...

 

[The_LastRomeo]

that's perfectly understandable my friend
just stay safe and protect yourself ok...

Okay i can try

 

[Deleted member 74]

my dad was and is similar to yours so this situation of yours rings a familiar tone for me and I understand you, it's a difficult situation and with you being so young and financially dependant on him, unfortunately, you're stuck in that situation for the time being but just know you don't deserve to be treated that way. you don't deserve that kind of bad overreactive and abusive behaviour from someone who is supposed to be your parent and act as such. there is nothing wrong with what you said or that you stood up for yourself and others in your family by calling him out, and there's no reason for you to apologize. unless of course you just want to for your own peace of mind. try to look into talking to a safe adult at school if there is one you trust enough to open up to as hard as I imagine that would be for you, I don't know how old you are but if you are old enough to find a job and begin slowly saving up for your future plans because I can imagine you don't want to stay around someone like that and in an environment like that. it's really hard to find a solid solution to these kind of situations, but I hope you know you're not alone <3 stay strong and if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to pm me c:

 

[anemoia]

It's about a situation I've encountered.
My dad lied on me and my siblings and said that when we break things, we don't (and have never) apologize(d). We said "Thats not true, only [insert sibling here] doesn't". Ps this sibling is his favorite child and is a problem child that has gotten away with literal abuse.
He says "Nah i've never heard you guys apologize." and I said "Thats because you choose not to hear it." He flies across the room and starts screaming in my face to shut up and "watch my goddamn mouth" saying I'm getting out of line. My second older brother steps in and says "Getting in a woman's face again?" (Yes this isn't the first time it has happened), then he starts screaming in his face and shoving him telling him to never interfere with his discipline. The next day he takes me aside (much to my dismay) and asks me if I didn't find anything wrong with what I said and I said no, now I case you are wondering I haven't had my phone in a week because he took it right after (Which is why im not active as much).

So should I apologize for what I said or should I leave it alone and just suffer without a phone?

are you a minor? bc if you are you shld probably fake apologise and hang in there until you’re 18 so you can get out of there. even tho he was completely wrong in this situation, who knows what else he’ll do to you if you go against him again. pls stay safe

 

[The_LastRomeo]

my dad was and is similar to yours so this situation of yours rings a familiar tone for me and I understand you, it's a difficult situation and with you being so young and financially dependant on him, unfortunately, you're stuck in that situation for the time being but just know you don't deserve to be treated that way. you don't deserve that kind of bad overreactive and abusive behaviour from someone who is supposed to be your parent and act as such. there is nothing wrong with what you said or that you stood up for yourself and others in your family by calling him out, and there's no reason for you to apologize. unless of course you just want to for your own peace of mind. try to look into talking to a safe adult at school if there is one you trust enough to open up to as hard as I imagine that would be for you, I don't know how old you are but if you are old enough to find a job and begin slowly saving up for your future plans because I can imagine you don't want to stay around someone like that and in an environment like that. it's really hard to find a solid solution to these kind of situations, but I hope you know you're not alone <3 stay strong and if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to pm me c:

Thank you so much, how easy was it for you to get out?

 

[The_LastRomeo]

are you a minor? bc if you are you shld probably fake apologise and hang in there until you’re 18 so you can get out of there. even tho he was completely wrong in this situation, who knows what else he’ll do to you if you go against him again. pls stay safe

I'm 17, I probably will apologize even I feel like throwing up in my mouth just thinking about it

 

[anemoia]

I'm 17, I probably will apologize even I feel like throwing up in my mouth just thinking about it

as long as you’re safe

 

[Deleted member 74]

Thank you so much, how easy was it for you to get out?

of course anytime <3 definitely not an easy process to get out and took a few years because of certain circumstances, but it's worth it if you ever plan on that, just try to stay safe and take care of yourself for the time being

 

[kisshuhua09baby]

My brothers keep telling to fake apologize because then id be proving him right about the not apologizing thing but my pride won't let me, I'm not mad about the situation but he is, he's acting like he's affected by all of it and is ignoring me. I am currently just avoiding him, I sneak on the pc every now and then too. I can't ask for help because I don't want to ruin the family, I don't want anyone to resent me for it.

I know it might seem like a bad decision, but this can't keep going on and it's not healthy. But since you seem adamant on not making any reports I'll just wish you the best and hope things get better