Sensitive I have to write an argumentative essay- (1 Viewer)

[DaisySkies]

my topic is on minors transitioning medically (not specifically surgically)
it's pretty controversial rn but I do have the evidence I need to make a strong argument.
I feel pretty passionate about this and feel like it's something that should be talked about.
please do not get heated here bc i'm going to share my thesis statement.

Minors should not be legally allowed to medically transition until 18 because they are no old enough to do things such as drinking and voting, the "treatment" is irreversible and dangerous, and most who transitioned as a minor are now detransitioners who have since gone against those practices.

provide criticism....calmly.
is this a strong argument?
my teacher has already approved but I still want to know what you think

 

[athenaaa]

Although I greatly disagree with your stance, I think you could strengthen your argument more by stats and figures, especially “most who transitioned as a minor are now detransitioners who have since gone against those practices”. Such as _% of individuals who transition express regrets. Additionally provide stories from the individuals who have detransitioned to further support your argument. As it stands right now it could be interpreted as “opinion”.

 

[Magician]

Every argument is only strong if you have proper evidences and sources to back up your statement
So far, this would not be enough, if I was your teacher

 

[Abeamus]

As other people have said that it depends on your evidence which you might have picked a bad subject on as most research suggests generally that few trans people regret it and then even less actually go through with detransitioning.

 

[Ahsoka]

What are you asking about when you say strong argument? I tend to agree that a thesis alone can’t be a strong argument on its own, without evidence it’s just a statement like any other. The strong argument is from a clear statement and evidence combined

 

[DaisySkies]

Every argument is only strong if you have proper evidences and sources to back up your statement
So far, this would not be enough, if I was your teacher

this is just the thesis. not the entire essay

 

[DaisySkies]

Although I greatly disagree with your stance, I think you could strengthen your argument more by stats and figures, especially “most who transitioned as a minor are now detransitioners who have since gone against those practices”. Such as _% of individuals who transition express regrets. Additionally provide stories from the individuals who have detransitioned to further support your argument. As it stands right now it could be interpreted as “opinion”.

I can't do that in the thesis. when I write the essay, the body paragraph for that piece of evidence will include the statistics

 

[DaisySkies]

What are you asking about when you say strong argument? I tend to agree that a thesis alone can’t be a strong argument on its own, without evidence it’s just a statement like any other. The strong argument is from a clear statement and evidence combined

it's literally just the thesis statement
I still have to write the paper
this dumb teacher keeps delaying it instead of actually letting us start

 

[DaisySkies]

As other people have said that it depends on your evidence which you might have picked a bad subject on as most research suggests generally that few trans people regret it and then even less actually go through with detransitioning.

I really do not care about the small amount of information that agrees with me. I know of multiple articles, court cases, personal experiences that are reliable sources. I genuinely believe that I have enough evidence to provide a strong argument.

 

[athenaaa]

I can't do that in the thesis. when I write the essay, the body paragraph for that piece of evidence will include the statistics

I’m not sure if I am understanding correctly. I assumed a thesis was the whole paper

 

[DaisySkies]

I’m not sure if I am understanding correctly. I assumed a thesis was the whole paper

nope, the thesis is your claim+reasons (what each body paragraph backs up)

 

[athenaaa]

nope, the thesis is your claim+reasons (what each body paragraph backs up)

Ohh okay, in that case three reasons is good. You could even discuss how these reasons have the potential to be intertwined with each other

 

[DaisySkies]

Ohh okay, in that case three reasons is good. You could even discuss how these reasons have the potential to be intertwined with each other

ty

 

[Ahsoka]

it's literally just the thesis statement
I still have to write the paper
this dumb teacher keeps delaying it instead of actually letting us start

I understand that. I just don’t get what you’re looking for that would make any thesis a strong argument because it’s a just a thesis. Maybe you could explain in more detail what you want people to critique, like clarity or whatever, because if anyone asked me if their thesis on its own is a strong argument, I’d have no idea how to interpret that. And I don’t seem to be alone.

 

[Abeamus]

I really do not care about the small amount of information that agrees with me. I know of multiple articles, court cases, personal experiences that are reliable sources. I genuinely believe that I have enough evidence to provide a strong argument.

Personal experience generally means very little when trying to put together a compelling argument as that's something someone can easily pry having a different experience to you on. Try to stick to solid factual information as pulling statistics and irrefutable data will make your argument seem much more grounded.

 

[DaisySkies]

I understand that. I just don’t get what you’re looking for that would make any thesis a strong argument because it’s a just a thesis. Maybe you could explain in more detail what you want people to critique, like clarity or whatever, because if anyone asked me if their thesis on its own is a strong argument, I’d have no idea how to interpret that. And I don’t seem to be alone.

Like i meant if you thought that the reasons were good enough to be able to find the evidence to make the strong argument
Idk I'm just confusing myseld atp 😭

 

[DaisySkies]

Personal experience generally means very little when trying to put together a compelling argument as that's something someone can easily pry having a different experience to you on. Try to stick to solid factual information as pulling statistics and irrefutable data will make your argument seem much more grounded.

Alrighty