i made something in the middle of the night bcs i was feeling like it (1 Viewer)

[hizaki]

hey guys, last night i made a something (poem or wtvr the hell...) and i decided i wanted to make a thread. lmk what you think
[strong language warning ‼]

here:

"my only wish was to provide you happiness.
little did i know, when you try to stop fate, you destroy it further.
destruction upon destruction, i create terror.
it’s known. my secrets are out, and i am unsure of how to fix this turmoil

my character is to create life, but my soul purpose is to destroy.
i did not mean to, but it happens.
i am bound by chains, there’s no escape, now.
i had one purpose, and i fucked up.

i have shown the monster i am, and there is no going back.
even though they’ve seen my dark side, i still feel like a ghost.
i am forced to confide within the shadows,
to protect the ones i love, i must give up my wants and needs

i have never felt alive, i never was alive
my life is a devastating lie, yet i wish it was true
i try to heal the ones i hurt, but hurt them anyway
i am constantly depressed, and i take the happiness of others as a precious pleasure

nobody knows my problems, and i never wanted them to
my life is a repetition, like a fucking rollercoaster.
i seek serendipity, but i cannot fulfil
i feel like i am helping, but i am only taking away

as a revelation of euphoria washes over me,
cleansing me of my terrible tornado,
i find beauty in the madness.

that “beauty” keeps me alive, fulfils my needs
keeps me sane, and crazy in love
makes my heart beat faster, providing me a life
i’ve never felt so at home

when i find something meaningful, hopeful,
i hold on to it, keep it, thinking it’ll last forever,
sadly, it decimates
i, once again, destroy what’s in my path

i feel trapped, in my head, behind bars, and i have no escape"