Is my behavior toxic? (1 Viewer)

[kisshuhua09baby]

Occasionally I like to ask my girlfriend questions with the specific intention of being validated and getting a positive response back. Or I'll make a comment about how I look loud enough for her to hear and then wait for her to respond back with something more uplifting and positive than what I said. I thought about it for a minute and is compliment fishing like this toxic behavior? It doesn't really bother her but I want to know if this is actually as harmless as I let myself think

 

[felixsimpskz]

Occasionally I like to ask my girlfriend questions with the specific intention of being validated and getting a positive response back. Or I'll make a comment about how I look loud enough for her to hear and then wait for her to respond back with something more uplifting and positive than what I said. I thought about it for a minute and is compliment fishing like this toxic behavior? It doesn't really bother her but I want to know if this is actually as harmless as I let myself think

hon i do the same thing

 

[Horizonshard]

Occasionally I like to ask my girlfriend questions with the specific intention of being validated and getting a positive response back. Or I'll make a comment about how I look loud enough for her to hear and then wait for her to respond back with something more uplifting and positive than what I said. I thought about it for a minute and is compliment fishing like this toxic behavior? It doesn't really bother her but I want to know if this is actually as harmless as I let myself think

That depends on what happens if you don't get the response you're looking for.

If getting the compliment is just a bonus, then I don't see an issue.

If not getting the compliment makes you mad at yourself or your partner then yes, I would consider that toxic.

 

[HugeBakkaeMotae]

I wouldn't call fishing for compliments toxic on it's own but it can be annoying since it's rarely subtle enough to not be obvious. Ideally you should be in a relationship that satisfies your emotional needs without needing to resort to tricks. Communication is important and it's okay to let someone know that you appreciate compliments every once in a while.

But hey, if your girlfriend truly doesn't mind there's no problem - just be aware that might change. Everyone gets insecure sometimes and it's really not a problem, it's only how you manage those feelings that matter and that's why I recommend open communication about the subject instead of fishing.

 

[lexus]

It's not exactly toxic unless you have a negative response towards her if she doesn't compliment you. I know that everyone would want their partner to compliment them, but I think it would be best to make sure that your girlfriend doesn't feel uncomfortable about it either

 

[Yseki]

Where does the insecurity stem from? Why do I need external validation from others? What type of validation am I looking for? etc.

It is a good chance to learn more about yourself. You don't have to change anything; you can just acknowledge this realization and move on.