Pet Peeves in online conversations? (1 Viewer)

[Harmony_Starz]

My only really big one is people who talking to is like pulling teeth where they will drop conversations randomly and never initiate or follow up after which I'm fine with different texting styles and frequency however for that to work you do have to actually get back to me at some point unless there's an underlying reason you wouldn't

I had one like that, it was HORRIBLEI start responding late or not following up and such until we drift away

some people are crazy tho, they will NOT help carry the convo, only answer your questions and not ask any and when you try to drift, they keep messaging anyway please take the hint and leave me alone I had to block them cuz i was sick of it, its such meaningless conversation too

 

[Harmony_Starz]

Judging by these responses, I am the pet peeve.
I don't like long term convos with most people anyway.

I think you'd be a great person to have long interesting conversations with!

 

[Harmony_Starz]

when you ask someone a question during conversation and instead of answering they reply to all your other messages and not the question? you're just ignoring me atp

That IS ignoring especially if the messaging feature doesn't give an excuse 'oh i didn't see it'

 

[Harmony_Starz]

i understand that pain

but rest assured, no one could hate you !!! and if they do then they have me to deal with

Aww

No one better hate you too, I will get my weapons out if anyone dares to

 

[Villains]

Aww

No one better hate you too, I will get my weapons out if anyone dares to

we will fight for each other

 

[Harmony_Starz]

we will fight for each other

Yes, stay away haters

 

[snsd2beg]

I think you'd be a great person to have long interesting conversations with!

The problem is that I don't want them. I don't understand how to do them, and the longer they go on, the more suffocating they become for me. Part of me wishes I could care, but I just... don't. That doesn't mean I don't value those who take time out of their day to speak to me. I've simply accepted that my traits are of someone who isn't meant to be close to people. Maybe in time, that will change, but as it stands, that's who I am and maybe that's okay, too.

 

[Harmony_Starz]

The problem is that I don't want them. I don't understand how to do them, and the longer they go on, the more suffocating they become for me. Part of me wishes I could care, but I just... don't. That doesn't mean I don't value those who take time out of their day to speak to me. I've simply accepted that my traits are of someone who isn't meant to be close to people. Maybe in time, that will change, but as it stands, that's who I am and maybe that's okay, too.

Ohh I see I dont think it means you cant be close to people, there'll be someone who gets youbut as you said, thats who you are rn and thats alright too!

 

[LoveforYe_na]

if we are friends irl, then I wont mind dry texting but if we are online friends, dry texting is not gonna work out

Yah, the only time I could accept it is if smth is going in in their lives

 

[LoveforYe_na]

The problem is that I don't want them. I don't understand how to do them, and the longer they go on, the more suffocating they become for me. Part of me wishes I could care, but I just... don't. That doesn't mean I don't value those who take time out of their day to speak to me. I've simply accepted that my traits are of someone who isn't meant to be close to people. Maybe in time, that will change, but as it stands, that's who I am and maybe that's okay, too.

I can't hold very long convos my attention span will not allow me, I often times shift the topic 5+ times during longer convos, I can't stand them, especially when I have no real response after that I just start replying with emojis or the same answers

 

[Abeamus]

I had one like that, it was HORRIBLEI start responding late or not following up and such until we drift away

some people are crazy tho, they will NOT help carry the convo, only answer your questions and not ask any and when you try to drift, they keep messaging anyway please take the hint and leave me alone I had to block them cuz i was sick of it, its such meaningless conversation too

Yeah eventually you are just left feeling drained talking to the person and at that point either they're open to discussing if something would make them more engaged in the conversation if you'd like to keep them around or you have no reason to believe they would show up any differently without it.

 

[Abeamus]

The problem is that I don't want them. I don't understand how to do them, and the longer they go on, the more suffocating they become for me. Part of me wishes I could care, but I just... don't. That doesn't mean I don't value those who take time out of their day to speak to me. I've simply accepted that my traits are of someone who isn't meant to be close to people. Maybe in time, that will change, but as it stands, that's who I am and maybe that's okay, too.

Just know your limits as it's okay to take a step back if you feel a conversation is getting too much for you since communicating that is the important part as people who are understanding will accept how you show up as long as they know it's not a reflection of the connection itself and you at least put effort into keeping up with them even if infrequently since every connection has unique needs and it's okay for you to have yours.

 

[dark_tranquility]

one time a girl sent me 50 things she likes randomly
so I am gonna say that lol

 

[HugeBakkaeMotae]

When you have to audition for someone's attention, if you're not already interested I'm not going to try and convince you. Building a friendship requires effort and both parties willingness to commit, this means that sometimes your effort might be wasted but the only alternative is to wait for somebody to sweep you off your feet and that's going to be whoever has the most well-rehearsed line.
My biggest connections have been with people I have nothing in common with and while I wish that was different it just goes to show that you can't always predict who you'll click with and you have to give people the time of day.

Just to expand on that; stringing people along. If you already know that you won't be friends with me just say so, any sting I might feel from the bluntness would be a lot milder than the pain of being strung along by succinct replies with no substance until I "take a hint", it's not kind but cowardly.

When they yap about nothing and idk how to respond so I send an emoji or something and they don't react

The other side of that is somebody putting effort in and getting only an emoji in response yet you expect more.



Sorry for calling you out but that seems hypocritical.

 

[Harmony_Starz]

When you have to audition for someone's attention, if you're not already interested I'm not going to try and convince you. Building a friendship requires effort and both parties willingness to commit, this means that sometimes your effort might be wasted but the only alternative is to wait for somebody to sweep you off your feet and that's going to be whoever has the most well-rehearsed line.
My biggest connections have been with people I have nothing in common with and while I wish that was different it just goes to show that you can't always predict who you'll click with and you have to give people the time of day.

What do u mean by audition for someone's attention?

Just to expand on that; stringing people along. If you already know that you won't be friends with me just say so, any sting I might feel from the bluntness would be a lot milder than the pain of being strung along by succinct replies with no substance until I "take a hint", it's not kind but cowardly.

I didn't know people did that if I dont wanna be friends with someone, I kinda know it before we get close so I can drift and its usually alright

The other side of that is somebody putting effort in and getting only an emoji in response yet you expect more.



Sorry for calling you out but that seems hypocritical.

Yeah thats true I wont continue the convo because I think they are not interested anymorewith Innie I kinda know thats how she is so I wont feel as hurt but it would feel like being ignored

 

[HugeBakkaeMotae]

What do u mean by audition for someone's attention?

I ment it like you sit back and expect people to prove to you that they are worthy of your attention before you contribute anything. Some people do it to establish a power dynamic early on as if they are the desireable one and everyone else is competing for their attention.

It's usually done by people who are used to getting a lot of attention rather than anything malicious and I understand the reasoning, it's only natural to be selective with your time when you don't have enough of it. The problem is that it's not only unfair to others but to them as well because the people who will stand out is usually not the genuine ones, but the ones who know how to play you.

I didn't know people did that if I dont wanna be friends with someone, I kinda know it before we get close so I can drift and its usually alright

When in doubt, just be honest. I respect you for doing it! I again don't think people do it out of malice but because they are afraid of confrontation, it's impossible to go through life without hurting peoples feelings though so sometimes it's better to be direct than to drag things out and try to soften the blow by wasting everyones time. It's like pulling off a band-aid!

 

[LoveforYe_na]

When you have to audition for someone's attention, if you're not already interested I'm not going to try and convince you. Building a friendship requires effort and both parties willingness to commit, this means that sometimes your effort might be wasted but the only alternative is to wait for somebody to sweep you off your feet and that's going to be whoever has the most well-rehearsed line.
My biggest connections have been with people I have nothing in common with and while I wish that was different it just goes to show that you can't always predict who you'll click with and you have to give people the time of day.

Just to expand on that; stringing people along. If you already know that you won't be friends with me just say so, any sting I might feel from the bluntness would be a lot milder than the pain of being strung along by succinct replies with no substance until I "take a hint", it's not kind but cowardly.



The other side of that is somebody putting effort in and getting only an emoji in response yet you expect more.



Sorry for calling you out but that seems hypocritical.

Well, I try not to do this frequently, but sometimes its kind of hard
Especially when someone expects long detailed answers from me, f we were calling its be different but I don't know if texting is made for long conversations now.
I mostly only do this with my irl friends though so its a difference
but I try my best to continue if someones having a long convo, if its a group conversation though then I have more space to stop answering after a certain point

 

[LoveforYe_na]

Yeah thats true I wont continue the convo because I think they are not interested anymorewith Innie I kinda know thats how she is so I wont feel as hurt but it would feel like being ignored

Yah, most of the people I talk to I tend to at least try to hold longer conversations even if I struggle through them
But its also a matter of topic and tone, cus if you're excited then I'm excited and the conversation will flow easier, its just hard to hold my attention via screen

However when talking with Harmony I try my best to answer back, until the messages become less answerable and more like statements

 

[HugeBakkaeMotae]

Well, I try not to do this frequently, but sometimes its kind of hard
Especially when someone expects long detailed answers from me, f we were calling its be different but I don't know if texting is made for long conversations now.
I mostly only do this with my irl friends though so its a difference
but I try my best to continue if someones having a long convo, if its a group conversation though then I have more space to stop answering after a certain point

Some people are experts at talking without saying much of substance which leaves little to add so I understand, it was mostly the disappointment at not getting a reaction to the emoji which caught my notice.

Not everyone is a talker (or someone who likes to write long messages in this scenario) and there's nothing wrong with that. You have as much right to prefer shorter messages as someone else has to prefer longer ones and you shouldn't have to push yourself but it's a kind gesture. I think the important part is just making it clear when it becomes relevant that it's a preference and not something personal.

Honestly I have a similar struggle in that while I like to write I don't speak or show much emotion in person which people often mistake for me being upset.

 

[TrinityJade]

I hate it when people text like they're writing an essay, with full punctuation and no abbreviations idk why it just annoys me

And I also hate it when I've sent a text and they take more than 2 days to respond
The whole point of a text message is to get a response within minutes otherwise I would've sent my message by pigeon