Honestly, it does hurt, but I have to deal with it. I have to be there for myself. I have to do it alone. I guess it is better that way... at least I will finally have some peace. It is the only way. Lots of things have frustrated me, but I can't change any of the connections that I've made. I am constantly thinking of the past and what I could have done instead or what I should have avoided. I just want the thoughts to disappear, the tears have. It is just really messed up how things turned out. Hopefully the outcome is a good one