Review my essay!! (1 Viewer)

[gud_bam]

Question 1

Now write an email to your friend in about 80 words. Write your answer below.

Hi Melissa,

Maybe you could have a family day on exciting beach. On the mesmerizing scenery, the sunshine and the fresh air, there are many outdoor activities that your family can be done. Here is some examples.

First of all, you must build a memorable sandcastle made from sand, water and shells. Furthermore, if your family members are someone who prefers extreme sports instead of swimming by the sea, you can do activities such as parasailing and surfing. However, these activities mostly require spending money and need to be booked in advance. In addition, you can hold activities on the beach side for the boys such as kites and treasure hunts.

In addition, carry-on items such as balls, food as well as mats. Oh! Don't forget suncream to protect your skin from the sun's rays. I hope you and your family can have fun later. See you later!

Your friend,
Reen

 

[gud_bam]

Question 2

Write your essay using all the notes and give reasons for your point of view.

Covid-19 is an acute respiratory illness in humans caused by a coronavirus, capable of producing severe symptoms and in some cases death, especially in older people and those with underlying health conditions. It was originally identified in China in 2019 and became pandemic in 2020. Hence we need to protect ourselves from this epidemic.

Among the things we need to do is to adopt preventive measures such as wearing face masks to eradicate the spread of the COVID-19 epidemic. In the current situation, everyone has to wear a face mask when in public because we do not know who is infected with the virus. And keep in mind that, face masks need to be changed or washed after wearing for four to six hours in order to provide long -lasting protection.

Furthermore, we need to keep a distance of 1 meter. If it requires you to go out such as buying goods or to work on unavoidable business, make sure you keep a distance of one meter so as not to come into contact. In addition, we are also encouraged to maintain good health such as eating nutritious food and doing simple exercises at home. Thus, it can return to normal by just staying at home for 14 days only.

The government should instruct the people to stay in their homes and reduce movement for only 14 days, in addition to maintaining personal hygiene as a preventive measure. Impose action for those who open stalls for sales, sports and sightseeing. This is to stop this spread from spreading.

Finally, if everyone has enduring human values and a responsible nature, we can stop this epidemic. Together we eradicate covid19.

 

[gud_bam]

PART 3
Write an answer to one of the questions 3-5 in this part. Write your answer in 200-250 words in an appropriate style.

Question 3

Question 4

Question 5

Write your article / review / story.

QUESTION 5

The sound of the alarm woke him up. Adam, the Form 4 Solar student started walking slowly to the bathroom to get ready for school. Throughout his journey to school, he only complained about why teenagers like him have to waste time learning things that he really did not understand since the beginning.

In the corner of the school fence, Adam locked his bike so that his bike would not disappear like a few days ago. His father who worked as a policeman only scolded him as well as put himself as a negligent person. The clock in the main school building shows 7 a.m. Although Adam realizes that he is less intelligent than other students, Adam has never made a serious disciplinary problem such as skipping school. But, his life began to change since then.

After the end of school, Adam began to set his feet to go to the corner of the school fence. What a surprise it was when the bike was ridden by the dean, a bully at the school. Her father had already warned her to return home early. Adam started to chase and vented his anger by throwing a rock towards the target and hitting it right in the head of Dean. "Give me my bike!" Shouting Adam broke the silence. without Adam realizing, a four -wheel drive speeding along the road and BREKKKK .. Adam abandoned on the road tar.

Adam's head glowed and began to look around. Adam was bedridden for 3 days in the ICU ward after the accident. next to his bed, a child was drawing with her crayons. Adam stole a glance at the painting, a man around a tall building. "Little girl, can you tell me what you're drawing?" The girl looked at Adam with a shake of his head. The painting manages to restore memories of childhood. Adam aspires to be a successful entrepreneur. to give money to people in greater need. "Adam.. Adam.." someone started calling his name. Adam suddenly as if pulled out of a dream world. Anxiety flashed across his parents' faces. Adam found out that he had been in a coma for almost a month. His memory with the crayon boy managed to transform himself to continue to be a useful person in the future.

 

[gud_bam]

Tag precious person for me who help me before!!

@brekker @blueberries @eudximoniia @kinnie @Myco @_WinterStorm @Yili

 

[gud_bam]

Urm for real tho.. I dont have enough time for write the essays properly

we just have 1 hour & 15 minutes..

hurm nv.. at least its not blank

 

[gud_bam]

also I rlly appreciete if u drop some review my english in here

https://kpopsource.com/threads/honest-with-me.72084/

 

[cocomelon]

PART 3
Write an answer to one of the questions 3-5 in this part. Write your answer in 200-250 words in an appropriate style.

Question 3

Question 4

Question 5

Write your article / review / story.

QUESTION 5

The sound of the alarm woke him up. Adam, the Form 4 Solar student started walking slowly to the bathroom to get ready for school. Throughout his journey to school, he only complained about why teenagers like him have to waste time learning things that he really did not understand since the beginning.

In the corner of the school fence, Adam locked his bike so that his bike would not disappear like a few days ago. His father who worked as a policeman only scolded him as well as put himself as a negligent person. The clock in the main school building shows 7 a.m. Although Adam realizes that he is less intelligent than other students, Adam has never made a serious disciplinary problem such as skipping school. But, his life began to change since then.

After the end of school, Adam began to set his feet to go to the corner of the school fence. What a surprise it was when the bike was ridden by the dean, a bully at the school. Her father had already warned her to return home early. Adam started to chase and vented his anger by throwing a rock towards the target and hitting it right in the head of Dean. "Give me my bike!" Shouting Adam broke the silence. without Adam realizing, a four -wheel drive speeding along the road and BREKKKK .. Adam abandoned on the road tar.

Adam's head glowed and began to look around. Adam was bedridden for 3 days in the ICU ward after the accident. next to her bed, a child was drawing with her crayons. Adam stole a glance at the painting, a man around a tall building. "Brother, can you tell me what you're drawing?" The boy looked at Adam with a shake of his head. The painting manages to restore memories of childhood. Adam aspires to be a successful entrepreneur. to give money to people in greater need. "Adam.. Adam.." someone started calling his name. Adam suddenly as if pulled out of a dream world. Anxiety flashed across her parents' faces. Adam found out that she had been in a coma for almost a month. His memory with the crayon boy managed to transform himself to continue to be a useful person in the future.

Okay big mistake here. You have a lot of inconsistentency.

Like in the 4th line you refer to Adam as "He" then in the 3rd para, 4th line you refer to Adama as "Her"

Then again in the same para,

" found out that she had been in a coma for almost a month. His memory with the crayon "

 

[Yili]

I did some grammar edits for you here for the covid one

Spoiler

Covid-19 is an acute respiratory illness in humans caused by a coronavirus, capable of producing severe symptoms and in some cases death, especially in older people and those with underlying health conditions. It was originally identified in China in 2019 and became a pandemic in 2020. Hence we need to protect ourselves from this epidemic.

Among the things we need to do is to adopt preventive measures such as wearing face masks to eradicate the spread of the COVID-19 epidemic. In the current situation, everyone has to wear a face mask when in public because we do not know who is infected with the virus. And keep in mind that, face masks need to be changed or washed after wearing for four to six hours in order to provide long -lasting protection.

Furthermore, we need to keep a distance of 1 meter. If it requires you / if you have to go out in order to do errands such as buying goods or to work /working on unavoidable business, make sure you keep a distance of one meter so as not to come into contact. In addition, we are also encouraged to maintain good health such as eating nutritious food and doing simple exercises at home. Thus, it can return to normal by just staying at home for 14 days only.

The government should instruct the people to stay in their homes and reduce movement for only 14 days, in addition to maintaining personal hygiene as a preventive measure. Impose action for those who open stalls for sales, sports and sightseeing. This is to stop this spread from spreading.

Finally, if everyone has enduring human values and a responsible nature, we can stop this epidemic. Together we eradicate covid19.

 

[cocomelon]

Maybe you could have a family day on exciting beach. On the mesmerizing scenery, the sunshine and the fresh air,

Instead of starting straight with Maybe you can say, "There are a lot of fun stuff that can be done at the party" and then continue describing it.

In addition, carry-on items such as balls, food as well as mats.

Not really a mistake, but if would be preferable if you use Also instead of In addition, cause you already used In addition in the last line only.

 

[Yili]

Hi Melissa,

Maybe you could have a family day on an exciting beach. On/ While experiencing the mesmerizing scenery, the sunshine and the fresh air, there are many outdoor activities that your family can be done. Here is some examples.

First of all, you must build a memorable sandcastle made from sand, water and shells. Furthermore, if your family members are someone/those who prefers that prefer extreme sports instead of swimming by the sea, you can do activities such as parasailing and surfing. However, these activities mostly require spending money and need to be booked in advance. In addition, you can hold activities on the beach side for the boys kids/children if you want to make it gender neutral such as kites and treasure hunts.

In addition, don't forget carry-on must have items such as balls, food as well as mats. Oh! Don't forget suncream to protect your skin from the sun's rays. I hope you and your family can have fun later. See you later!

Your friend, Reen

 

[Yili]

Tried to do some correcting for you but if you prefer more advice than actual corrections let me know ^^

 

[gud_bam]

Okay big mistake here. You have a lot of inconsistentency.

Like in the 4th line you refer to Adam as "He" then in the 3rd para, 4th line you refer to Adama as "Her"

Then again in the same para,

" found out that she had been in a coma for almost a month. His memory with the crayon "

I did some grammar edits for you here for the covid one

Spoiler

Covid-19 is an acute respiratory illness in humans caused by a coronavirus, capable of producing severe symptoms and in some cases death, especially in older people and those with underlying health conditions. It was originally identified in China in 2019 and became a pandemic in 2020. Hence we need to protect ourselves from this epidemic.

Among the things we need to do is to adopt preventive measures such as wearing face masks to eradicate the spread of the COVID-19 epidemic. In the current situation, everyone has to wear a face mask when in public because we do not know who is infected with the virus. And keep in mind that, face masks need to be changed or washed after wearing for four to six hours in order to provide long -lasting protection.

Furthermore, we need to keep a distance of 1 meter. If it requires you / if you have to go out in order to do errands such as buying goods or to work /working on unavoidable business, make sure you keep a distance of one meter so as not to come into contact. In addition, we are also encouraged to maintain good health such as eating nutritious food and doing simple exercises at home. Thus, it can return to normal by just staying at home for 14 days only.

The government should instruct the people to stay in their homes and reduce movement for only 14 days, in addition to maintaining personal hygiene as a preventive measure. Impose action for those who open stalls for sales, sports and sightseeing. This is to stop this spread from spreading.

Finally, if everyone has enduring human values and a responsible nature, we can stop this epidemic. Together we eradicate covid19.

Instead of starting straight with Maybe you can say, "There are a lot of fun stuff that can be done at the party" and then continue describing it.


Not really a mistake, but if would be preferable if you use Also instead of In addition, cause you already used In addition in the last line only.

Tried to do some correcting for you but if you prefer more advice than actual corrections let me know ^^

Lemme review it within an hour

Cuz rn i still have a pop quiz

I will back asap

Tysm for help @sally @Yili

 

[cocomelon]

Lemme review it within an hour

Cuz rn i still have a pop quiz

I will back asap

Tysm for help @sally @Yili

No problem

 

[doll]

I can check up on it more later

 

[gud_bam]

Okay big mistake here. You have a lot of inconsistentency.

Like in the 4th line you refer to Adam as "He" then in the 3rd para, 4th line you refer to Adama as "Her"

Then again in the same para,

" found out that she had been in a coma for almost a month. His memory with the crayon "

Oops.. I cant double check for specific look cuz it just 5 minutes left alr

• Take note bout pronouns!!

Instead of starting straight with Maybe you can say, "There are a lot of fun stuff that can be done at the party" and then continue describing it.


Not really a mistake, but if would be preferable if you use Also instead of In addition, cause you already used In addition in the last line only.

Ooo.. the beach beginning.. I am blank..

Discourse markers!! I need more!!

• Gain discourse markers!!

 

[gud_bam]

I did some grammar edits for you here for the covid one

Spoiler

Covid-19 is an acute respiratory illness in humans caused by a coronavirus, capable of producing severe symptoms and in some cases death, especially in older people and those with underlying health conditions. It was originally identified in China in 2019 and became a pandemic in 2020. Hence we need to protect ourselves from this epidemic.

Among the things we need to do is to adopt preventive measures such as wearing face masks to eradicate the spread of the COVID-19 epidemic. In the current situation, everyone has to wear a face mask when in public because we do not know who is infected with the virus. And keep in mind that, face masks need to be changed or washed after wearing for four to six hours in order to provide long -lasting protection.

Furthermore, we need to keep a distance of 1 meter. If it requires you / if you have to go out in order to do errands such as buying goods or to work /working on unavoidable business, make sure you keep a distance of one meter so as not to come into contact. In addition, we are also encouraged to maintain good health such as eating nutritious food and doing simple exercises at home. Thus, it can return to normal by just staying at home for 14 days only.

The government should instruct the people to stay in their homes and reduce movement for only 14 days, in addition to maintaining personal hygiene as a preventive measure. Impose action for those who open stalls for sales, sports and sightseeing. This is to stop this spread from spreading.

Finally, if everyone has enduring human values and a responsible nature, we can stop this epidemic. Together we eradicate covid19.

Ooo tysm♡♡

for to working.. I thought u cant add ing after 'to" for verb?

Sorry.. I just know a basic one

Tysm for this too

Tried to do some correcting for you but if you prefer more advice than actual corrections let me know ^^

Woah thank you so much for your kindness♡♡

I need to learn grammar more!!

 

[gud_bam]

Sorry guys.. I rlly want to comeback within an hour

But I fall asleep and just woke up

 

[Yili]

Ooo tysm♡♡

for to working.. I thought u cant add ing after 'to" for verb?

Sorry.. I just know a basic one


Tysm for this too


Woah thank you so much for your kindness♡♡

I need to learn grammar more!!

such as buying goods or to work /working
^ just remove to work so it is
such as buying goods or working

you can put 'to' in front of something like 'working' but it's usually in the case that the 'working' is being used as a noun/gerund

A gerund is a derivative from a verb that is used as a noun aka working, killing, ending, etc

An example of this is

The workings of a clock are/is a mystery to most people
From eating all the time to working non stop, she is always busy