soooo help again (1 Viewer)

[anemoia]

uhhh tmr me and my 3 friends are gonna confront (nicely) this other friend lets call her A) who has been causing some of us problems. context: me + A + 3 friends has been a friend grp for a bit longer than 3 years now. A has become extremely close to one of the friends in the friend grp (lets call her B) and kinda been ignoring the rest of us. we didnt really have a problem with that so we started hanging out with our other friends (not in friend grp) and became close to them. however, A has a problem with that bc she feels we are "leaving her out"??? also there are some other things she did that made her come across as arrogant, hypocritical, egoistic, and self entitled. we dont know if she is aware of her attitude but we'll give her benefit of the doubt and inform her kindly. but im still scared bc she generally doesnt take constructive criticism very well... also i've never confronted anyone before so do yall have tips to make the confrontation less aggressive and more constructive?

 

[centen]

My tip would be to not confront her as a group. That could come across very intimidating, and immediately put her on the defensive. It's hard to have three people approach you to talk about what's wrong with you, you can imagine, right?

I would suggest that whoever is closest to her approach her one on one, and be like "hey, I've noticed this specific behavior, and it makes me feel..." Like make it more individual, otherwise it'll come across like "everyone talks about you behind your back and we all agree you suck."

I'd also think about what you want to do if she doesn't change. You can put something out there, but you can't control how she reacts to it.
Are you willing to drop her? Only do one on one things? Something else?

All in all, though, I do think honesty is kindness, and it's a good thing that you want to give her a chance to see how her behavior is affecting you before just dropping her. Good luck friend!

 

[anemoia]

My tip would be to not confront her as a group. That could come across very intimidating, and immediately put her on the defensive. It's hard to have three people approach you to talk about what's wrong with you, you can imagine, right?

I would suggest that whoever is closest to her approach her one on one, and be like "hey, I've noticed this specific behavior, and it makes me feel..." Like make it more individual, otherwise it'll come across like "everyone talks about you behind your back and we all agree you suck."

I'd also think about what you want to do if she doesn't change. You can put something out there, but you can't control how she reacts to it.
Are you willing to drop her? Only do one on one things? Something else?

All in all, though, I do think honesty is kindness, and it's a good thing that you want to give her a chance to see how her behavior is affecting you before just dropping her. Good luck friend!

thanks!! i'll suggest it to my other friends :D