News The absolute horror (1 Viewer)

[Ahsoka]

Some mom got mad at her child’s school for “allowing her to make life-altering decisions right now that are irreversible” (She said that about herself, that she wouldn’t let her daughter make those decisions, but it sort of implies that she thinks the school would). You might be wondering what exactly those decisions are. Did they put the child on hormones or suggest surgery? That would be possibly irreversible (surgery at least). But no. They gave the child a chest binder and used male pronouns when referring to them. Truly irreversible and so incredibly harmful as I right? They will never be the same again after that experience.

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[StirFriedPanda]

Even though it's definitely NOT a life altering decision the school has no right to be involved in ANYTHING but the education of that child. Anything else is between that child and her family. I don't even believe the school should be involved in sex education but to many parents either don't care or are two cowardly to talk to their kids about sex.

I also wouldn't trust the NYP no matter what direction they story leans. I also believe this article never should have been published in the first place.

The other main problem I have with this is the mother's public soapbox speech. Yes the school screwed up, but I can't imagine how embarrassed that poor 13 year old is. This should have been handled privately and with more compassion on both sides. ESPECIALLY more compassion from the mother! This is the kind of bullshit that drives kids to suicide.

 

[Ahsoka]

Even though it's definitely NOT a life altering decision the school has no right to be involved in ANYTHING but the education of that child. Anything else is between that child and her family. I don't even believe the school should be involved in sex education but to many parents either don't care or are two cowardly to talk to their kids about sex.

I also wouldn't trust the NYP no matter what direction they story leans. I also believe this article never should have been published in the first place.

The other main problem I have with this is the mother's public soapbox speech. Yes the school screwed up, but I can't imagine how embarrassed that poor 13 year old is. This should have been handled privately and with more compassion on both sides. ESPECIALLY more compassion from the mother! This is the kind of bullshit that drives kids to suicide.

Just curious, who do you think should be the one to provide kids with information or resources about topics that aren’t basic school related per say but are important for the development of the child when the child’s family can’t or won’t take on that role? Do those kids just have to deal with it on their own?

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Just curious, who do you think should be the one to provide kids with information or resources about topics that aren’t basic school related per say but are important for the development of the child when the child’s family can’t or won’t take on that role? Do those kids just have to deal with it on their own?

That's a hard question because this world is so screwed up. On the one side, I can say I had to deal with those feelings on my own and I survived but that's not fair. Children shouldn't have to deal with those things alone; adults shouldn't even have to deal with those feelings alone! Just because I survived doesn't mean I didn't have to deal with a lot of turmoil that could have been avoided or at least lessened. I guarantee had I had someone or some where I could have been open with I would have turned out to be a better person. I wouldn't have lived such a hard life and made so many terrible decisions. When I began actually dealing with my feelings of being transgender I thought the road was; take hormones, get a boob job, have things chopped off and turned inside out etc. Luckily things happened that gave me time to reflect and put all that aside and look at why I had those feelings. I got the rare chance to figure out WHO I ACTUALLY was on the inside. Had I gone down that road and become female I totally guarantee I would be a miserable human being today. I would have been the same miserable human being I was back then only worse. Trust me, you wouldn't want to have known that person. He was angry, hurtful, and full of hate. He was the kind of angry bigot that disgusts and saddens me today. The happiness and peace I have achieved today never would have been found.

In a perfect world, parents would view all the feelings their children have with compassion. There would never be, "OMG, my child is gay, trans, etc. What did I do wrong, or what a disappointment." Or even worse, "my child is dead to me" Parents should be the place where children can explore those feelings but I very much understand that's rarely how it ends up. On the other end of the spectrum it feels like the only narrative allowed is the "There's only one way this ends and that's being gay, or become the opposite sex, or changing your pronouns" No one seems willing or able to sit in the middle and say, lets truly explore this and understand it! My fear is that because schools, doctors, nurses, mental health care, etc tend to sit on either the left or right is that another boy or girl like me who just needs to sort their feelings out will miss that opportunity and lead a much harder life than they need to. I guess I feel like schools, doctors, nurses, mental health care professionals, etc have a duty to sit in the middle. And the middle doesn't preach or advocate either side. The middle is just a safe space. The middle is where that information and resources should be able to be researched with out it advocating for one side or the other. What that school did was take that safe space away. Where is that child's safe space now? It's not at home with a mom who's angry and seems disappointed and frightened, and it's not at school any more. The school took that away.

I don't have an actual answer for your. I wish I did. I guess I could say I would be OK with the school, doctors, nurses, mental health professionals, being a place children can gather information and resources but only if they are actually going to be a middle safe ground. The best way for children to find these resources is with their parents but I can't deny that isn't always the best option and a second option should exist.

Sorry for an entire essay! I actually trimed it down a lot....