to all vegan (and none vegan) - I need some input... (1 Viewer)

[ani07]

so.... long story short. roughly 1 month ago I decided to go vegan. mainly because of 2 reasons,
the first one being my own health (I have a thyroid disease - hashimoto) and
the 2nd one being the bad conditions in animal/livestock farming.

I have told my own family, my colleagues and one old school friend so far.
surprisingly my friend was the only one being happy for me.
yes, I admit I was a bit naive to think everyone would accept it immediately - because we are living in 2023 and living vegan
is nothing new to society.... I thought. seems like vegans are the aliens on planet earth, I just didn't know before.

anyways, coming to the main topic, next week is my uncles birthday.
my mom told my aunt 'don't forget she is vegan and can't eat wheat' (I have an allergy on top of that, lucky me),
so my aunt was a bit overwhelmed - which is okay, no bad feelings about it. she can cook really well, so I expected she can cook me something simple.
she asked what she can cook for me, I said just make a salad (nothing fancy really, buy a cucumber,
tomatoes and some red pepper, add oil, salt & pepper, finished in 10 min).

she said ' I aint buying those in winter, they taste like nothing. I wont make that.'

so, yes I was really sad, disappointed, angry (all kinds of things).
I cried because I was so disappointed that she wasn't willing to at least buy me a cucumber for dinner.

my father said I cant expect everyone to cater to me and that I would not appropriate my uncle/aunt when not going to the birthday celebration (and that I should accept that she isn't buying some vegetables in winter).
so I thought 'what about their appropriation towards me than?' major trigger for me honestly. (its a freaking cucumber for fucks sake, and I would be the one eating it anyways)

u know I never expect someone to cook sth fancy for me or do research or buy vegan cooking books and all that shit.
but when someone invites me to their home and expects me to come, is it wrong of me to expect they would at least cook sth simple for me?
(to your information, me being allergic to wheat is nothing new, but is always 'forgotten' when I visit my family too)

yeah, my day was shit thxs to my family.
now that I have somewhat overcome my disappointment (after reading some vegan blogs with ppl having similar problems), what would you do?

I waver between those possibilities:

1. not going (it would be way less stressful for me to just not go at all - cause stress is not good for my thyroid disease)
2. cook sth simple and bring it (just to show that it wasn't much work)
3. cook sth fancy so everyone gets curious and envious
4. cook sth that looks none vegan, but is vegan, just to see their questioning faces

 

[Yelena_Belova]

I would not go personally. They aren’t worth the time or effort. Just stay home and make yourself something delicious. If they don’t like that, they should have thought about that before being so rude.

 

[Tickita]

I'm sorry they reacted like that. You don't have to go - if you aren't feeling it, don't go. No stress is better.

 

[Nina]

The moment you mention vegan to anyone who’s not one, they think it’s the scariest shit ever >.>

I get how you feel, no one wants to make effort or care about your dietary preferences when the majority aren’t in the same boat.
I’d say dont go and cook yourself something delicious. Especially if you enjoy cooking. You can plan out a whole course just for yourself.
Maybe one day you can introduce them to something vegan. There’s a lot of cuisines that are predominately vegetarian and vegan. Lack of understanding and knowledge is their loss because vegetarian and vegan food is delicious.

 

[ani07]

I would not go personally. They aren’t worth the time or effort. Just stay home and make yourself something delicious. If they don’t like that, they should have thought about that before being so rude.

sadly, I`m the only one in my family thinking its rude.
I even told my father to tell her, she can contact me anytime if she has questions.
I mean I dont expect my grandfather to learn, he is old and generally not interested.
I would go as far as bring my food, because he cant really cook.
but my aunt is a good cook, it would not be a problem for her.
even my mom was surprised and disappointed about it.
my mom would probably cook vegan for me, just so i would go.
which says much about her, honestly.
she is the only one being active about me being vegan, like looking for vegan gummy bears and such.
she even baked a vegan cake last week and brought vegan milk to bake a citron cake soon.

I'm sorry they reacted like that. You don't have to go - if you aren't feeling it, don't go. No stress is better.

yeah, I mostly feel no. 1 right now. I still have 1 week to decide, so I will see how I feel about it in the next few days.

The moment you mention vegan to anyone who’s not one, they think it’s the scariest shit ever >.>

I get how you feel, no one wants to make effort or care about your dietary preferences when the majority aren’t in the same boat.
I’d say dont go and cook yourself something delicious. Especially if you enjoy cooking. You can plan out a whole course just for yourself.
Maybe one day you can introduce them to something vegan. There’s a lot of cuisines that are predominately vegetarian and vegan. Lack of understanding and knowledge is their loss because vegetarian and vegan food is delicious.

I enjoy cooking and trying out new things. even brought a vegan cooking book.
I have to think about it. but I first need 1 or 2 days to pass.

 

[Yelena_Belova]

sadly, I`m the only one in my family thinking its rude.
I even told my father to tell her, she can contact me anytime if she has questions.
I mean I dont expect my grandfather to learn, he is old and generally not interested.
I would go as far as bring my food, because he cant really cook.
but my aunt is a good cook, it would not be a problem for her.
even my mom was surprised and disappointed about it.
my mom would probably cook vegan for me, just so i would go.
which says much about her, honestly.
she is the only one being active about me being vegan, like looking for vegan gummy bears and such.
she even baked a vegan cake last week and brought vegan milk to bake a citron cake soon.



yeah, I mostly feel no. 1 right now. I still have 1 week to decide, so I will see how I feel about it in the next few days.



I enjoy cooking and trying out new things. even brought a vegan cooking book.
I have to think about it. but I first need 1 or 2 days to pass.

I’m glad your mom is supportive of it, but I do wish more of your family would be the same way. I get your point though, some of the older people might not want to learn about it, but your aunt should have done something for you at least, like make a salad like you suggested. It literally takes a max of five minutes and only a couple dollars. There’s zero excuse not to do it.

 

[Myth]

no I feel you. People hear you're vegan and automatically think it's scary and they have to bend over backwards to find something for you to eat when it really doesn't have to be like that. There's a lot of things you can make with a few veggie based ingredients with just a little time and effort.

Anyways, I'd do what makes you comfortable. If it's too stressful to go, then don't bother. They put you in a stressful position to begin with and you don't have to put up with it.

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

(to your information, me being allergic to wheat is nothing new, but is always 'forgotten' when I visit my family too)

Is it celiac or just an allergy? Because if it's celiac I relate. My family forgets all the time that it means I can't eat wheat. They'll explain what they put in a dish and be like "SHIT CORN-You can't eat that can you??" (I can't eat it because it has a cream of chicken soup in it which has flour NOT because of the corn).



IT...it's ITS WHEAT NOT CORN.
I don't get why it's so confusing. You have a peanut allergy somehow that makes sense to everyone but WHEAT!?!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WHEAT!?!?

What is WHEAT?
IT'S FUCKING FLOUR WTF!!!
BARLEY, RYE, AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT.

I'm about to have a breakdown. I can't eat anything that touches it either so they bring things thinking I can just pick shit off of it and eat it. NO NO I CANNOT. IT HAS THE PARTICLES.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

I see two options. Make your own salad and bring it, make sure missing the most obnoxious Tupperware imaginable. Make enough for everyone if your feeling nice.

The option I would choose. Force your self to eat what ever and then vomit it up on the table. Then explain when you go vegan you body stops producing certain enzymes and that makes digesting meat difficult (scientifically accurate) and leave with a vomit breath smile.

 

[BlingyBlinger]

I'd definitely go with #1 especially since your family doesn't bother to care about a legitimate allergy that you have. Maybe if you're a no-show it'll rub it in that they were in the wrong

 

[ani07]

I’m glad your mom is supportive of it, but I do wish more of your family would be the same way. I get your point though, some of the older people might not want to learn about it, but your aunt should have done something for you at least, like make a salad like you suggested. It literally takes a max of five minutes and only a couple dollars. There’s zero excuse not to do it.

her first reaction was 'what do I cook for you than?', but she got over her first shock and
even tries out things even without me asking her.
I`m thankful, but she can be a bit overbearing sometimes.

and I agree, making a salad is nothing complicated. even my grandfather could make it.

no I feel you. People hear you're vegan and automatically think it's scary and they have to bend over backwards to find something for you to eat when it really doesn't have to be like that. There's a lot of things you can make with a few veggie based ingredients with just a little time and effort.

Anyways, I'd do what makes you comfortable. If it's too stressful to go, then don't bother. They put you in a stressful position to begin with and you don't have to put up with it.

yeah, it really isnt that complicated. idk why ppl are so scared. like this week I told my mom you can make creamy sauces with almond mouse and she was looking at me like I was crazy.

Is it celiac or just an allergy? Because if it's celiac I relate. My family forgets all the time that it means I can't eat wheat. They'll explain what they put in a dish and be like "SHIT CORN-You can't eat that can you??" (I can't eat it because it has a cream of chicken soup in it which has flour NOT because of the corn).



IT...it's ITS WHEAT NOT CORN.
I don't get why it's so confusing. You have a peanut allergy somehow that makes sense to everyone but WHEAT!?!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WHEAT!?!?

What is WHEAT?
IT'S FUCKING FLOUR WTF!!!
BARLEY, RYE, AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT.

I'm about to have a breakdown. I can't eat anything that touches it either so they bring things thinking I can just pick shit off of it and eat it. NO NO I CANNOT. IT HAS THE PARTICLES.

omg I feel you. it must be horrible.
good thing, its not celiac for me. I can still eat other grains, like rye, spelt, barley and so on. I only can't eat wheat.

 

[ani07]

thxs to you guys I`m feeling all better now so thank you.

@YouChanDoThis @Tickita @bunnyviolet @Nina @Lovely_Cornchips @BlingyBlinger @ApexApinkPanda

 

[Yelena_Belova]

thxs to you guys I`m feeling all better now so thank you.

@YouChanDoThis @Tickita @bunnyviolet @Nina @Lovely_Cornchips @BlingyBlinger @ApexApinkPanda

No problem!

 

[Lovely_Cornchips]

thxs to you guys I`m feeling all better now so thank you.

@YouChanDoThis @Tickita @bunnyviolet @Nina @Lovely_Cornchips @BlingyBlinger @ApexApinkPanda

Not sure I did much but you're welcome! ^^

 

[StirFriedPanda]

I noticed you had no use for my suggestions. I can't imagine why...

 

[ani07]

I noticed you had no use for my suggestions. I can't imagine why...

would be a bit too messy for my taste

 

[StirFriedPanda]

would be a bit too messy for my taste

But you'd ba a legend!

 

[ani07]

But you'd ba a legend!

I would be remembered for sure.