Sensitive [TW: mental illness and self harm] I don't even know how to feel anymore (1 Viewer)

[Areum]

This is the first time I've ever told anyone this, so whoever reads this is the first to know. I just trust you guys so much that you won't judge me for what I'm going thorough, bc no one else understands me.

Okay, so my sister (17) has been mentally ill her whole life (schenzophrenic, PTSD, and depression) so we've tried to help her a lot. She has lied countless times and almost ruined my reputation (I lost a lot of friends bc of her but some thankfully listened to the truth). She caused our family so much stress-especially me and my grandmother. I had countless panic attacks and my grandmother almost had a stroke her stress level was so high. She walked of our house 3 times, was chased by the police, and threatened to slit her throat while I was in our room. She even set a date and planned her own funeral. I once walked in to her cutting herself wiht a plastic knife and she wouldn't stop. We have sen her to 3 or 4 different mental hospitals and we thought she had gotten a little better. But then she just got smart with her mouth and even had the nerve to say that our grandmother (who has raised us since we were all babies so about 13 years now) does not love her. If she didn't love her, she would've let her stay in the foster system.
So she went to go live with our aunt and uncle until her probation ended (it ended in January) and was supposed to come back, but decided not to. Now, she's been with them for 8 months. She only went there because she loved their money, not them. So now she decided to walk off from their house today. We just got the phone call like 15 minutes ago. We tried to tell them that she needed more help, but they didn't listen, so now we don't know where she is, it's freezing cold outside, and there's predators on our road and thiers.
I'm so sorry for those of you who did not want to see this it's just that when I try to open up to other poeple, they'll always be like, "Oh, she'll be fine", "You need to woman up", "Why are you worried over something you can't control?", "It'll get better with time". This has been going on for YEARS, and I try to stay positive and fun for my family. Especially my younger siblings (I have three) because they look up to me. I've done a lot of fake smiles, but I've made it this far, and I just want to thank those on here who have always made me feel better when I needed it. You guys are the best and I feel that you won't judge me, so I apologize once again, it's just that you guys understand everything, and I turst that you will understand me here.

 

[Mangoey]

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, it sounds like a lot :/
If you ever need someone to talk to in private, my dms are always open

 

[Areum]

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, it sounds like a lot :/
If you ever need someone to talk to in private, my dms are always open

Thanks that means a lot to me

 

[SHlNEE]

This is the first time I've ever told anyone this, so whoever reads this is the first to know. I just trust you guys so much that you won't judge me for what I'm going thorough, bc no one else understands me.

Okay, so my sister (17) has been mentally ill her whole life (schenzophrenic, PTSD, and depression) so we've tried to help her a lot. She has lied countless times and almost ruined my reputation (I lost a lot of friends bc of her but some thankfully listened to the truth). She caused our family so much stress-especially me and my grandmother. I had countless panic attacks and my grandmother almost had a stroke her stress level was so high. She walked of our house 3 times, was chased by the police, and threatened to slit her throat while I was in our room. She even set a date and planned her own funeral. I once walked in to her cutting herself wiht a plastic knife and she wouldn't stop. We have sen her to 3 or 4 different mental hospitals and we thought she had gotten a little better. But then she just got smart with her mouth and even had the nerve to say that our grandmother (who has raised us since we were all babies so about 13 years now) does not love her. If she didn't love her, she would've let her stay in the foster system.
So she went to go live with our aunt and uncle until her probation ended (it ended in January) and was supposed to come back, but decided not to. Now, she's been with them for 8 months. She only went there because she loved their money, not them. So now she decided to walk off from their house today. We just got the phone call like 15 minutes ago. We tried to tell them that she needed more help, but they didn't listen, so now we don't know where she is, it's freezing cold outside, and there's predators on our road and thiers.
I'm so sorry for those of you who did not want to see this it's just that when I try to open up to other poeple, they'll always be like, "Oh, she'll be fine", "You need to woman up", "Why are you worried over something you can't control?", "It'll get better with time". This has been going on for YEARS, and I try to stay positive and fun for my family. Especially my younger siblings (I have three) because they look up to me. I've done a lot of fake smiles, but I've made it this far, and I just want to thank those on here who have always made me feel better when I needed it. You guys are the best and I feel that you won't judge me, so I apologize once again, it's just that you guys understand everything, and I turst that you will understand me here.

im sorry to hear this
she is almost 18
so technically almost an adult on paper right?
despite her mental problems she old enough to know what is what
and even though i can understand your pain
its her life and she needs to take responsibility for her shit

if she can't .... is it possible she can be forced into a psychiatric hospital? perhaps not the greatest place to live
but this is not healthy for all of you and them hospitals know what to do with people who suffer like this

 

[nyaajooe]

first, please put it under the correct prefix (sensitive) because it may be triggering to other users and second, i am at a loss for words, honestly, i don't even know what to say i'm just....

 

[ADORA]

I've experienced the same thing (Kind of) my brother was suicidal and had been in foster care like me and tried to kill himself and made death threats to three students I don't know if it's relatable to your experience, but sorry that your going through that though

 

[Areum]

first, please put it under the correct prefix (sensitive) because it may be triggering to other users and second, i am at a loss for words, honestly, i don't even know what to say i'm just....

Thanks for that correction you probably saved me from a lot of mess
But I know it's a lot that's why I knew you guys would understand me

 

[Areum]

I've experienced the same thing (Kind of) my brother was suicidal and had been in foster care like me and tried to kill himself and made death threats to three students I don't know if it's relatable to your experience, but sorry that your going through that though

I don't know why people are so cruel in this world I wish there were a way to just make it stop

 

[Venomous]

Unfortunately, you can't force help on someone if they don't want it. Loving and caring about your sister and your family may mean that, you will have to do what's right for you and them. If she's unwilling to participate in taking care of her mental health, it's honestly best that you focus on your own. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. She's affecting the entire family's mental health and inflicting trauma on others. There is only so much you can do for a person when they're at war with themselves.

 

[ADORA]

I don't know why people are so cruel in this world I wish there were a way to just make it stop

Me too

 

[Areum]

im sorry to hear this
she is almost 18
so technically almost an adult on paper right?
despite her mental problems she old enough to know what is what
and even though i can understand your pain
its her life and she needs to take responsibility for her shit

if she can't .... is it possible she can be forced into a psychiatric hospital? perhaps not the greatest place to live
but this is not healthy for all of you and them hospitals know what to do with people who suffer like this

She's been in a psychiatic hospital and faked and lied her way out of it. Yup she's almost 18 and still blames and hurts others for her actions. She's so immature I wish she would just grow up already.

 

[Panda]

Man, this really sucks, I'm really sorry that you have been stuck with this for so long. But, this has also seemed to make you a stronger and more responsible person and I hope you are proud of that!

 

[Areum]

Unfortunately, you can't force help on someone if they don't want it. Loving and caring about your sister and your family may mean that, you will have to do what's right for you and them. If she's unwilling to participate in taking care of her mental health, it's honestly best that you focus on your own. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. She's affecting the entire family's mental health and inflicting trauma on others. There is only so much you can do for a person when they're at war with themselves.

Yeah I agree. We did it out of love, but it seems like she didn't want our help so I just gave up already thanks for that kind note. I'm trying to take care of myself

 

[SHlNEE]

She's been in a psychiatic hospital and faked and lied her way out of it. Yup she's almost 18 and still blames and hurts others for her actions. She's so immature I wish she would just grow up already.

ok this is serious but this sounds like something dr phil can solve perhaps?
send him a letter

 

[Areum]

Man, this really sucks, I'm really sorry that you have been stuck with this for so long. But, this has also seemed to make you a stronger and more responsible person and I hope you are proud of that!

Well, when you put it like that . . . I guess it makes sense

 

[Areum]

ok this is serious but this sounds like something dr phil can solve perhaps?
send him a letter

Eh, I wouldn't take it that far but thanks for your concern and your kind words

 

[Venomous]

Yeah I agree. We did it out of love, but it seems like she didn't want our help so I just gave up already thanks for that kind note. I'm trying to take care of myself

Just know that you've done what you can, and you obviously love and care about her a great deal to fight so hard for her. Hopefully she comes around and realizes there are people willing to support her and help her heal. You never know what's going on in the mind of a mentally ill person, and schizophrenia is a very difficult condition because it can cause you to be disconnected with reality. Self care and mental health support for you and the rest of your family is all you can do for now.

 

[Areum]

Just know that you've done what you can, and you obviously love and care about her a great deal to fight so hard for her. Hopefully she comes around and realizes there are people willing to support her and help her heal. You never know what's going on in the mind of a mentally ill person, and schizophrenia is a very difficult condition because it can cause you to be disconnected with reality. Self care and mental health support for you and the rest of your family is all you can do for now.

 

[SHlNEE]

Eh, I wouldn't take it that far but thanks for your concern and your kind words

because she be exposed on international tv?
i can understand your choice
but sounds like she needs it to have her eyes opened if it is that bad as you say it is

 

[Areum]

because she be exposed on international tv?
i can understand your choice
but sounds like she needs it to have her eyes opened if it is that bad as you say it is

Yup I hope she figures out that her choices are affecting others and not just me and my family.