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premise: art student xie lian in a very toxic relationship with rich boy hua cheng
warnings/tws: relationship violence, bullying, knife usage
notes: i'll probably post this on ao3 because i actually worked hard for once :>
he was all loyal truths and saccharine smiles, his juvenile innocence present in the faded nature of his smile, his eyes were open for the world to explore, just as his heart were; for in the strokes of a canvas were nothing but colors which spoke for his silent self. he was good. in ways that hua cheng had never been, and would never be; it hurt him, it hurt him to know he would never be good enough for xie lian, he would never be brave enough or loving enough. a long time ago, he had been corrupted.
san lang had long convinced himself; they were meant to be.
so why did he treat him so horrendously?
for the whole of his life, or at least, most of it, san lang had known of his attraction to boys; for he was but a short, small six-year-old when he felt his heart flutter for the first time, and it was at the sight of none other than an animated character which appeared on the small tv which rested in his mother's room; young and innocent, he had spoken childishly about how he wished to marry said character, and while his mother had giggled as she hugged her son, his father had shot him a stern look, and had urged him not to say such silly things; and so, he kept his silly remarks to himself.
six years old, and san lang was already caught in a web of secrets.
middle school was difficult on most children; for they knew not whether they were children or not anymore, and most of them chose to act like the latter; he could still recall, being invited to a party hosted by perhaps the most popular girl in his school; it was a party like most parties, drinking strange flavored kool-aid and eating chips by the pool of her home, but all took a turn as the kids huddled up, choosing to play a good old game of spin the bottle; facing san lang had been him, a member of the swimming team and well, perhaps the one person on whom san lang had the biggest crush; the bottle turned and turned, before it landed on none other than him and his crush; he thought this to be his moment, for his first kiss would at last be shared with someone he liked endlessly; he approached, carefully, innocently, unknowingly, with closed eyes and a thumping heart; the kiss had never come, instead, he was met with the harshness of more than a few insults as the one boy who his heart had grown heavy for looked at him with disgust and pulled back fearfully, shedding harsh names that san lang could not understand, but which quickly became chanted whenever he entered a room; he was a freak.
twelve years old, and san lang was already caught in the web of a cruel reality.
fourteen years old and it was time to start fresh: his father had gotten a promotion, while they had always been comfortable, they were now more than, he had drivers and butlers, spent his summers in europe and africa, and knew not of his past middle school self for they had long moved now, moved to the bustling city where he began to attend a private academy; he knew now, what those words they had said to him meant, he knew everyone would shun him if he were to show his true self, and so, he didn't; he kissed boys and dated them and broke their hearts, but no one ever knew, for as he stepped foot into his school, his girlfriend would come join his side, and his little minions would happily follow along behind him; for he was their leader.
fourteen years old and san lang began to go by hua cheng, for san lang was but a shadow of who he was.
high school was a hard time for everyone, not for hua cheng though; he was worshiped by boys and girls alike, he had more control over the student body than the principal himself, and his resumΓ© was untouchable, and yet, one could not say his home life was as good as his life at school; his father, who had caught him kissing his boyfriend of the time, had done to him what no parent should to their child, for he'd hurt him, with spiteful words and ill-meaning expressions and whatever was left of his heart had gone cold; and so, he took it out on his boyfriend. it had started out as an accident, for his hand had pressed against the smaller boy's cheek accidentally but he was quick to grow addicted to the feeling, the feeling of being in control; for no matter how much he hurt him, physically or emotionally, all he had to do was apologize, and the weakling would come crawling back to him; it had become his happy pill. a happy pill that was quick to dissolve as the young boy told him he would be attending a university far away, before kissing him one final time and bidding him an eternal farewell; though hua cheng had been hurt by the news, he minded not, for he knew, in university, he would find more people who would be under him, regardless of what he would do to them.
the few first years of university were mostly calm, with hua cheng focusing on his studies for the most part, and joining a multitude of social units which was no problem to him, for he'd been hailed king of that school from the minute he'd stepped foot in it; most of the people he'd attempted to go out with ended up being but a mere one night stand, with all of them accusing him of being too violent and too careless, which he thought to be but a measly excuse; but that had never really halted his search. much like in high school, he found himself a girlfriend for show, who minded not being at his arm in every social event as long as she got a wad of cash at the end of the month; which he really did not mind giving.
his gratification had not come until his final year at college, in the form of none other than xie lian; hua cheng could positively assert that his heart had stopped the minute he'd first seen him, huddled up in a sweater far too large for him and far too bright not to be noticed, with a small cup in his hand as his head bopped along to the loud music playing; to this day, san lang would confidently claim that it was love at first sight he'd seen.
even so, their relationship had not started on a good note.
hua cheng, knowing all too well he could not just publicly flirt with him, had chosen to take a much simpler route; bullying him. for he bullied him in every way, shape and form possible; it was all punishment, for making him feel these feelings, for making his stomach churn with butterflies, for giving him these palpitations; a punishment which had never really stopped until he'd seen what his friends had done of the boy's art, and in a fit of his own guilt, san lang had made an appearance as hua cheng quickly scribbled a note before setting it next to the painting, leaving the art room before he had a chance to take back the pale blue post-it.
π ππππ¦ πππ ππ’πππππ π¦ππ’π πππππ‘πππ
and from then on, it had escalated; with an apology becoming a careful greeting and a careful greeting becoming a music recommendation, and before he knew it, hua cheng was urging xie lian to call him by his real name as he pushed him onto the wall of the small janitor closet, his lips pressed to his neck as he whispered loving words to him, urging him to forgive him for the bruises, for the pain; for even as they became an item, their love story remained a secret to the world; hua cheng had a reputation to uphold, one that could not be tainted by dating xie lian, and much to both his pleasure, and dismay, the boy had went along with it; allowing him to bruise him during the day, as long as he kissed the blues and violets better by night.
their relationship was an abnormal one, but hua cheng would never give it away.
"well look who it is," hua cheng spoke, a chuckle slipping past his lips as he pushed xie lian on the wall facing him, the sickening sound of his back landing harshly onto the pasty white wall both pleasing him and killing him all at once; "aw, look at him, he looks so scared!" one of his friends muttered in the back, mu qing, as he approached the young boy, a little too close, if one were to ask hua cheng; "don't tell me you were gonna lock yourself up in the art room without even saying hi to us first?" hua cheng teased, caging him between his arms as mu qing brought out what appeared to be a long, thin blade; "maybe we should give you a little something to remember so you never forget to greet us again, yeah hua cheng?" he questioned, to which hua cheng simply chuckled; "we are your upperclassmen after all, not even a hello? ah, give him a little slash in the face, maybe next time he sees it he won't forget."
red stained his cheek as mu qing gave him a thin 'x' shaped scar by the top of his cheek, ushering laughter from their other comrades; "you guys go, i wanna give our little friend a few more things to remember me by," his friends saw nothing to it, simply laughing as they walked along, believing every word; and as their laughter slowly died down into the hallway, hua cheng turned to look at xie lian, eyes full of mercy, of genuine concern, of love; "i'm sorry, gege," he'd speak, every single time, his tone soft, sweet, before he'd kiss the wounds, or in this case, lick at the blood, carefully brushing away at the blood as he would press further and further into his boyfriend, breathing in the sweet scent of his hair, his arms wrapping tightly around him; "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." hua cheng knew all too well that if one were to do the same to him, he would not forgive them, so he could but thank the universe that xie lian did.
warnings/tws: relationship violence, bullying, knife usage
notes: i'll probably post this on ao3 because i actually worked hard for once :>
he was all loyal truths and saccharine smiles, his juvenile innocence present in the faded nature of his smile, his eyes were open for the world to explore, just as his heart were; for in the strokes of a canvas were nothing but colors which spoke for his silent self. he was good. in ways that hua cheng had never been, and would never be; it hurt him, it hurt him to know he would never be good enough for xie lian, he would never be brave enough or loving enough. a long time ago, he had been corrupted.
san lang had long convinced himself; they were meant to be.
so why did he treat him so horrendously?
for the whole of his life, or at least, most of it, san lang had known of his attraction to boys; for he was but a short, small six-year-old when he felt his heart flutter for the first time, and it was at the sight of none other than an animated character which appeared on the small tv which rested in his mother's room; young and innocent, he had spoken childishly about how he wished to marry said character, and while his mother had giggled as she hugged her son, his father had shot him a stern look, and had urged him not to say such silly things; and so, he kept his silly remarks to himself.
six years old, and san lang was already caught in a web of secrets.
middle school was difficult on most children; for they knew not whether they were children or not anymore, and most of them chose to act like the latter; he could still recall, being invited to a party hosted by perhaps the most popular girl in his school; it was a party like most parties, drinking strange flavored kool-aid and eating chips by the pool of her home, but all took a turn as the kids huddled up, choosing to play a good old game of spin the bottle; facing san lang had been him, a member of the swimming team and well, perhaps the one person on whom san lang had the biggest crush; the bottle turned and turned, before it landed on none other than him and his crush; he thought this to be his moment, for his first kiss would at last be shared with someone he liked endlessly; he approached, carefully, innocently, unknowingly, with closed eyes and a thumping heart; the kiss had never come, instead, he was met with the harshness of more than a few insults as the one boy who his heart had grown heavy for looked at him with disgust and pulled back fearfully, shedding harsh names that san lang could not understand, but which quickly became chanted whenever he entered a room; he was a freak.
twelve years old, and san lang was already caught in the web of a cruel reality.
fourteen years old and it was time to start fresh: his father had gotten a promotion, while they had always been comfortable, they were now more than, he had drivers and butlers, spent his summers in europe and africa, and knew not of his past middle school self for they had long moved now, moved to the bustling city where he began to attend a private academy; he knew now, what those words they had said to him meant, he knew everyone would shun him if he were to show his true self, and so, he didn't; he kissed boys and dated them and broke their hearts, but no one ever knew, for as he stepped foot into his school, his girlfriend would come join his side, and his little minions would happily follow along behind him; for he was their leader.
fourteen years old and san lang began to go by hua cheng, for san lang was but a shadow of who he was.
high school was a hard time for everyone, not for hua cheng though; he was worshiped by boys and girls alike, he had more control over the student body than the principal himself, and his resumΓ© was untouchable, and yet, one could not say his home life was as good as his life at school; his father, who had caught him kissing his boyfriend of the time, had done to him what no parent should to their child, for he'd hurt him, with spiteful words and ill-meaning expressions and whatever was left of his heart had gone cold; and so, he took it out on his boyfriend. it had started out as an accident, for his hand had pressed against the smaller boy's cheek accidentally but he was quick to grow addicted to the feeling, the feeling of being in control; for no matter how much he hurt him, physically or emotionally, all he had to do was apologize, and the weakling would come crawling back to him; it had become his happy pill. a happy pill that was quick to dissolve as the young boy told him he would be attending a university far away, before kissing him one final time and bidding him an eternal farewell; though hua cheng had been hurt by the news, he minded not, for he knew, in university, he would find more people who would be under him, regardless of what he would do to them.
the few first years of university were mostly calm, with hua cheng focusing on his studies for the most part, and joining a multitude of social units which was no problem to him, for he'd been hailed king of that school from the minute he'd stepped foot in it; most of the people he'd attempted to go out with ended up being but a mere one night stand, with all of them accusing him of being too violent and too careless, which he thought to be but a measly excuse; but that had never really halted his search. much like in high school, he found himself a girlfriend for show, who minded not being at his arm in every social event as long as she got a wad of cash at the end of the month; which he really did not mind giving.
his gratification had not come until his final year at college, in the form of none other than xie lian; hua cheng could positively assert that his heart had stopped the minute he'd first seen him, huddled up in a sweater far too large for him and far too bright not to be noticed, with a small cup in his hand as his head bopped along to the loud music playing; to this day, san lang would confidently claim that it was love at first sight he'd seen.
even so, their relationship had not started on a good note.
hua cheng, knowing all too well he could not just publicly flirt with him, had chosen to take a much simpler route; bullying him. for he bullied him in every way, shape and form possible; it was all punishment, for making him feel these feelings, for making his stomach churn with butterflies, for giving him these palpitations; a punishment which had never really stopped until he'd seen what his friends had done of the boy's art, and in a fit of his own guilt, san lang had made an appearance as hua cheng quickly scribbled a note before setting it next to the painting, leaving the art room before he had a chance to take back the pale blue post-it.
π ππππ¦ πππ ππ’πππππ π¦ππ’π πππππ‘πππ
and from then on, it had escalated; with an apology becoming a careful greeting and a careful greeting becoming a music recommendation, and before he knew it, hua cheng was urging xie lian to call him by his real name as he pushed him onto the wall of the small janitor closet, his lips pressed to his neck as he whispered loving words to him, urging him to forgive him for the bruises, for the pain; for even as they became an item, their love story remained a secret to the world; hua cheng had a reputation to uphold, one that could not be tainted by dating xie lian, and much to both his pleasure, and dismay, the boy had went along with it; allowing him to bruise him during the day, as long as he kissed the blues and violets better by night.
their relationship was an abnormal one, but hua cheng would never give it away.
"well look who it is," hua cheng spoke, a chuckle slipping past his lips as he pushed xie lian on the wall facing him, the sickening sound of his back landing harshly onto the pasty white wall both pleasing him and killing him all at once; "aw, look at him, he looks so scared!" one of his friends muttered in the back, mu qing, as he approached the young boy, a little too close, if one were to ask hua cheng; "don't tell me you were gonna lock yourself up in the art room without even saying hi to us first?" hua cheng teased, caging him between his arms as mu qing brought out what appeared to be a long, thin blade; "maybe we should give you a little something to remember so you never forget to greet us again, yeah hua cheng?" he questioned, to which hua cheng simply chuckled; "we are your upperclassmen after all, not even a hello? ah, give him a little slash in the face, maybe next time he sees it he won't forget."
red stained his cheek as mu qing gave him a thin 'x' shaped scar by the top of his cheek, ushering laughter from their other comrades; "you guys go, i wanna give our little friend a few more things to remember me by," his friends saw nothing to it, simply laughing as they walked along, believing every word; and as their laughter slowly died down into the hallway, hua cheng turned to look at xie lian, eyes full of mercy, of genuine concern, of love; "i'm sorry, gege," he'd speak, every single time, his tone soft, sweet, before he'd kiss the wounds, or in this case, lick at the blood, carefully brushing away at the blood as he would press further and further into his boyfriend, breathing in the sweet scent of his hair, his arms wrapping tightly around him; "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." hua cheng knew all too well that if one were to do the same to him, he would not forgive them, so he could but thank the universe that xie lian did.
