Sensitive What do you wish your friends knew about (your) mental health? (1 Viewer)

[brekker]

Sometimes I feel like I want to save the world, but I don´t really know what to say. I have been surrounded with people in deep depression (no, not the emo stage, depression like when they were on the floor unable to move, unable to breathe, ready to kill themselves to stop the pain and I was just a helpless teenager not knowing what to do), starving themselves and cutting themselves.
But time has passed and I still feel like I am walking on egg shells and that there is so much to learn about everything. I need to be more patient, more open, more kinder.
So please, educate me and educate others.

 

[Yili]

I feel like it hasn't gotten easier growing up nowadays especially with how easily we can get in touch with each other via social media for better or for worse. There are so many expectations for us in every single facet of life, visually education wise socially wise etc. I always played as the strong friend that never cried because I wanted my friends to feel like they could be sad and upset around me and I would be strong for them. I was happy that I could help them and fortunately none of them ever had depression as serious as that.
However it did end up taking a toll on me where I found it shameful to cry for a long time and I hated crying, I had conditioned myself into shutting out my own emotions.

Recently in the past few years in college I have started to take care of myself more. Now I feel a lot better about my own mental health and I can help others while still preserving my own emotional health.

 

[brekker]

I feel like it hasn't gotten easier growing up nowadays especially with how easily we can get in touch with each other via social media for better or for worse. There are so many expectations for us in every single facet of life, visually education wise socially wise etc. I always played as the strong friend that never cried because I wanted my friends to feel like they could be sad and upset around me and I would be strong for them. I was happy that I could help them and fortunately none of them ever had depression as serious as that.
However it did end up taking a toll on me where I found it shameful to cry for a long time and I hated crying, I had conditioned myself into shutting out my own emotions.

Recently in the past few years in college I have started to take care of myself more. Now I feel a lot better about my own mental health and I can help others while still preserving my own emotional health.

helping others takes a lot of energy, you gotta have balls for that. taking care of yourself allows you to take care for others. if I thought you have cool taste in music and yadada, you sound like a wonderful human being ♥.

 

[Yili]

helping others takes a lot of energy, you gotta have balls for that. taking care of yourself allows you to take care for others. if I thought you have cool taste in music and yadada, you sound like a wonderful human being ♥.

thank you <3 i still have my days where i slip up but what matters the most is you keep getting up and trying to be better and happier every time

 

[Ahsoka]

They didn't used to know a lot because my family made me feel ashamed to admit I had any issues. I've gotten better though and now my closest friends know a lot of what I'm struggling with, especially my online ones like @lexus and @Panda. Irl they don't know absolutely everything, but they know the gist of it.

 

[brekker]

What I meant was more objective? Like how to talk to a person.
For example, I hate when people say stuff like "don´t be angry, don´t cry" WHY THE HELL NOT? I HAVE EMOTIONS so I´m cry when I feel like it, be angry when I feel like because not allowing your emotions out causes FRUSTRATION and makes people emotionally constipated. Just tell me what you need!
Please, never tell a child "don´t cry and don´t be angry" let them calm down and ask them what´s wrong :D.

 

[Saryu]

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[brekker]

First, I wish I had friends

About mental health, I do think it is important to remind that depression is serious illness and it should always be taken seriously.

I don't like talking about myself on public forum, and in addition my English is terrible but anyway. lol I just want to tell to anyone that even if my difficulties may be invisible, it doesn't mean they don't exist. I'm tired to always have to explain how is it to deal with social anxiety + ADHD. What can I add more than : this is hell guys (and girls).

My main advice : tell your friend to EDUCATE themselves about mental health.... in particular yours.

Ok, bai. @yellowcoat

I wish I had friends ..... wtf, N. ? like ..... unfollow me on instagram as it is friends-only, please.

as for educating yourself that is relatively easy, but what is harder is knowing what reality is!

 

[Tickita]

What friends?

People in general, don't shoot mental health down to just a simple emotion. It's not a simulation game (i.e. "You're like this, so you just need that and you'll be fine").
It's okay to ask questions, but please take time to use the internet. We don't know everything ourselves.
It's okay to not know what to do if you encounter someone who's struggling. There's research for that too.
You don't have all the answers, and we don't need you to. Ask us what we need. Sometimes it's a hug. Or for you to listen. Or for you to leave us alone for a bit.
Yes, we love you. But taking care of ourselves will always be more important.
Getting healthy will take as long as it needs to. Trying to rush the process is pretty insensitive and disrespectful.

Just please, please educate yourself. If you can't do that, I don't see the point of a conversation with you.

 

[Saryu]

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[brekker]

To me. the song Hikikomori from Bang Yong guk explains very well what is the reality of social anxiety. I can relate to the entire lyrics. Maybe it's a way to make others people understand ? But as Yong guk wrote in the lyrics :

"If you're full of prejudices and arrogance I'm not the one who's able to reach it."

Some people won't even try to understand another reality than their own... I suppose I don't have time to loose with such people (as do BYG too).

What would be more helpful would be, maybe instead of telling people to go and read a book. Explain this:

Is it ok to talk to you when you are having a panic attack?
What calms you down?
Is there something that annoys you when people keep telling you? Maybe some phrases like "it will get better" etc.
Is there a game we can play that helps you? Maybe "this or that" or planning a trip that we would never go to.

I´m sorry that people have taken it all the wrong way and most answers are just "go and educate" yourself.
I was simply trying to be helpful, but it got turned out the wrong way.

Since you are quoting Bang Yongguk.

No one held your hand
They all turned away
Everyone twisted your thoughts and words
You cried so much

 

[Saryu]

Sorry I do not know how I can delete my messages because I don't want to be involved in a useless drama, that's the reason why I edited my previous messages.

 

[lunaria]

one thing is that sometimes if people tell you they need a break and don't talk to you for awhile it's not because they don't want to be your friend, it's because they're really struggling and need space my friends often think i'm not interested in them and their lives when i need a break, but it's because my head isn't making socialization easy for me at the moment. good thread idea !!

the other users in this thread said some really important things, too !!

 

[lunaria]

also, are you alright ??

did something happen in the thread ?

 

[lexus]

I don't have friends in real life, but if I did I'd want them to know that whenever I'm going to through something (like depression), I usually want to be left alone. It doesn't mean I don't want anything to do with or you, or that I'm mad at you. I just want time for myself so I can cry my eyes out, and get my thoughts together until I feel slightly better