What prevented you from focusing more on yourself in life? (1 Viewer)

[jasque]

(Or not if you always loved yourself)

For me I think it was mostly flirting with pretty girls

It was kinda worth it though, since they were pretty and being near pretties is nice right?

(In some cases I was just blinded by love, since I tend to fall for charisma more than looks)

But then the problem was more lack of talent, or not having patience to learn more about all the art involved.

Being a romantic, I had all that thing of caring more about being authentic than learning how to do it the efficient way from the masters of flirting, and thinking like that it'd be better if I focused on other stuff in life.

Still, pretty women are a blessing.



Just curious.

 

[Willow]

my failure in romance

 

[Belgizen]

SCHOOL

 

[dark_tranquility]

Recreational drug use, alcohol abuse, suicidal ideology,
parents, step parent, past relationships, sexual abuse,
physical abuse, being mentally institutionalised.

 

[jasque]

SCHOOL

For me college was worse

I wish someone had said to me " you won't like the people there anyway, so just choose something that you can finish fast and easy."

 

[Belgizen]

For me college was worse

I wish someone had said to me " you won't like the people there anyway, so just choose something that you can finish fast and easy."

With school I do mean college
I like majority of my class mates. I just get so many papers to write throughout the year and I have to try to study at the same time

 

[jasque]

With school I do mean college
I like majority of my class mates. I just get so many papers to write throughout the year and I have to try to study at the same time

Oh i c

I liked the theory a lot, but having to do group assignments wasnt very pleasing.

I somehow even ended helping others near the end though.

 

[Belgizen]

Oh i c

I liked the theory a lot, but having to do group assignments wasnt very pleasing.

I somehow even ended helping others near the end though.

We have a lot of group assignments but thankfully, ours are very well overseen

 

[SnowWhite]

@ OP ikr, I see so many people say they don't care about looks. Specially girls, but I am a HUGE visual person and can't help it. A tall blonde guy with blue eyes will catch my eyes immediately ugh.

What made me hate myself and forget "me"? Well.... Firstly I kinda flopped the last year of high school, a year that mattered a lot for my future. Second, I crushed on a guy who liked girls with certain looks. I didn't have it so, it ruined my life for years indeed. I tried to change myself and thought of drastic changes.,tho was too scared to do anything but well, so stupid of me.

 

[jasque]

@ OP ikr, I see so many people say they don't care about looks. Specially girls, but I am a HUGE visual person and can't help it. A tall blonde guy with blue eyes will catch my eyes immediately ugh.

Yeah, I think I became more like that. My more romantic side I direction more towards fiction nowadays (who said we wouldn't learn anything from @SkinnyJungkook right)

Not that dating was bad or traumatic, actually it was an amazing experience while it lasted, and it made me improve a lot on life at a time I was stagnated.

But it's more because I had it as a huge goal I think, and the person wasn't toxic (still isn't), so it's natural that it went like that.

I used to worry constantly about ending the year single, now I almost never think about that.
It's more like I may date again or may not, I prefer having more self centered goals instead.

 

[dark_tranquility]

Recreational drug use, alcohol abuse, suicidal ideology,
parents, step parent, past relationships, sexual abuse,
physical abuse, being mentally institutionalised.

This was all within 2009 too.
None of which happens in the now.
But the scars run deep and have never healed.

and some of that I've never even told my parents about.

 

[jasque]

This was all within 2009 too.
None of which happens in the now.
But the scars run deep and have never healed.

and some of that I've never even told my parents about.

Thank god it's better now then

 

[Tickita]

Spoiler

Spoiler

.

 

[lalaloving]

college among personal things like eating disorders, social and generalized anxiety that make the experience even worse and now longer seeing i am not graduating in four years

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler: long and dark I guess but hey you asked :P

well, firstly, I am a very sensitive person by nature. Another thing is that mental illness runs in my family but even without it, I'm sure I would have developed such issues based on the events in my life.. I've experienced some forms of neglect and abuse from my closest family as well as bullying by my "friends" and others starting at a young age, followed by being used and thrown away by men I wanted to believe in as well after becoming an adult..... Instead of thoughts of the future and a career or whatever, my head was only full of very dark thoughts and it's been that way since I was a kid, so ofc I dropped out of college which was also hell for me.. basicallly, the foundations of my life were always very shaky as the adults in my life have failed me early on, so I grew into a messed up person who still has no clue who she is or should be.. since I left school, I got this job that I've been doing for the past few years and it's pretty crappy but yeah, I won't get too into all that lol.... but in the end ofc, the person most responsible for all my failure is myself. I am grown but still haven't let go of that little girl I once was, she still follows me around, wanting something... I'm probably just hiding behind my excuses and blaming it all on this and that and it's all useless. No one will apologize to me, no one even noticed lol. If I don't snap out of it and make big changes, it will be too late for me soon. Tbh, I am both a hopeful and a hopeless person at the same time, kinda weird heh..

 

[jasque]

Spoiler: long and dark I guess but hey you asked :P

well, firstly, I am a very sensitive person by nature. Another thing is that mental illness runs in my family but even without it, I'm sure I would have developed such issues based on the events in my life.. I've experienced some forms of neglect and abuse from my closest family as well as bullying by my "friends" and others starting at a young age, followed by being used and thrown away by men I wanted to believe in as well after becoming an adult..... Instead of thoughts of the future and a career or whatever, my head was only full of very dark thoughts and it's been that way since I was a kid, so ofc I dropped out of college which was also hell for me.. basicallly, the foundations of my life were always very shaky as the adults in my life have failed me early on, so I grew into a messed up person who still has no clue who she is or should be.. since I left school, I got this job that I've been doing for the past few years and it's pretty crappy but yeah, I won't get too into all that lol.... but in the end ofc, the person most responsible for all my failure is myself. I am grown but still haven't let go of that little girl I once was, she still follows me around, wanting something... I'm probably just hiding behind my excuses and blaming it all on this and that and it's all useless. No one will apologize to me, no one even noticed lol. If I don't snap out of it and make big changes, it will be too late for me soon. Tbh, I am both a hopeful and a hopeless person at the same time, kinda weird heh..

I see people here had such a harsh life...

My life was relatively easy compared, even with some family and mental health issues in the past

Most of things that got wrong with me were my fault and not say... People around me being mean for no reason.

Of course there were some cases here and there, but few that affected me a lot.

I hope you all get to achieve a peace of mind and way of life, and that the past stays behind

 

[Mew]

Responsibility of other people lives, my mother, my siblings..mental illness Upbringing, a lot of bad shit... Survival kinda outweighed the let me love myself thing., had not time to sit there and focus on myself if everyone around me I love is dying you know even if they didn't care as much for me.
However that didn't stop me loving and giving my all to people that I wanted to love and were willing to love me..relationships are easy when you're not looking for them.
Trying to figure out how to love yourself when you've never really thought about or have hated yourself is pretty difficult tbh.

 

[yeji]

most romantic guy ever.

Spoiler: about me

I think it’s always my insecurities that prevent to follow through. I tend to not be lucky and to get in situations that end up
hurting me. I always question if people around me really care and that is preventing me to see things for how they are and to be happy. I also te to have no focus and can’t even watch a normal video without checking completely out towards the end. My thoughts and feelings are a mess and I wish so much to sort that out but I can’t for some reason. I should love myself more but some days it’s a struggle.

 

[LeeriaYa]

Spoiler

I have been sexually abused for 16 years and have developed a habit of sleeping where I've gotten sleep paralysis. I just don't focus on myself because I run off and keep to myself. But not for my benefit. More for the use I believe i only possess is helping others. I believe everyone is annoyed with me so i act this way more because people seem to enjoy it

But tbh. Aside from that damage. I'd have to say I put my studies way before myself. I also learn things to help others with. I just never have myself as a priority.

 

[NASA]

Unrequited love and feeling like a failure with school/college