Are you a self conscious person? (1 Viewer)

[Ahsoka]

From a while ago

Spoiler: Bad

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maybe don’t comment tbh I’m shy

Spoiler: Don’t read

A loud thud resonated throughout the gym as the body slumped to the floor, felled by Millie's powerful kick. Other than Millie's shallow, yet rhythmic breathing, the room was in silence. Millie bent down and offered her opponent a hand as the silence was shattered by loud cheering. Joan accepted the help and stood up sheepishly, dusting herself off.

"Go Millie! Hey, that's my girl! What'd I tell ya? She ALWAYS delivers" yelled Millie's coach, overpowering all other sounds.

"Hey, good job. It was an intense match" Millie told Joan, trying to ignore her coach's booming voice. Joan met her eyes and responded with a small smile, and Millie countered with one of her own. As Millie turned around and worked her way through the crowd, her coach's boasting remained the soundtrack. Person after person congratulated her, faces and names blurring in her mind. Millie silently smiled and continued toward the door.

"Hey Millie, we're gonna win that basketball game tomorrow too, aren't we," a boy called after her. The sentence was met with loud whooping. The sonic distraction allowed her to escape, and Millie grabbed the door's handle and let herself out, leaving the celebration behind her.

She rounded the corner and knew what was about to happen before it started. This wasn't the first time. Millie sunk against the wall as her body fell victim to the shaking. She was shaking so much she could do nothing. Nothing except wait for it to pass.

"She always delivers." The words echoed in her brain, ping ponging against her skull. All the compliments, the congratulations gnawed at her like termites. She felt unworthy. Guilty. Undeserving of the praise heaped on her. She really wasn't that great, didn't they know? Why did everyone think so highly of her, if only they knew...

Millie was hyperventilating, taking fast breaths yet struggling to breathe. The words continued to loop through her brain. "She always delivers. She always delivers. She always delivers." Not just this match. Basketball. School with all her advanced classes. Didn't they know she was barely making it? Didn't they know she really wasn't as responsible, as hardworking as they thought? Didn't they know...

Millie closed her eyes tight as the thought trailed off, and the world began spinning, days passing in seconds. She wasn't in control. Millie was strong, and she knew it. Everyone knew it, and she even prided herself on it.

As her world continued on it's invisible carousel ride, Millie felt her body heating up, then just as quickly freezing, and the cycle continued. The thoughts continued to swirl in her head. She thought too much, she chastised herself. No wonder this happened. Millie wished there was a mute button for her brain, that she press and just not think. But there wasn't.

Being strong was tiring. Couldn't she be weak sometimes?

As the storm finally passed, Millie opened her eyes again, but panic set in once more. Joan was gaping down at her.

END

but I guess that’s better at explaining things than I could do, ofc the character isn’t me, I wrote a story based on the word strong and this is it

This reminds me a lot of imposter syndrome, which I’ve dealt with, especially being in an advanced school while also being told that I’m too stupid for it.

 

[litc]

This reminds me a lot of imposter syndrome, which I’ve dealt with, especially being in an advanced school while also being told that I’m too stupid for it.

Oh idk much abt imposter syndrome tbh

I hope you know you’re smart to be going to the school

it was based on the word strong, so in my mind was someone who was strong, everyone thinks is strong, but is sort of tired of it. Although she likes being strong wants to be weak once in a while, but she just isn’t. Then also all the pressure, and the anxiety too along with self- doubt

 

[Ahsoka]

Oh idk much abt imposter syndrome tbh

I hope you know you’re smart to be going to the school

it was based on the word strong, so in my mind was someone who was strong, everyone thinks is strong, but is sort of tired of it. Although she likes being strong wants to be weak once in a while, but she just isn’t. Then also all the pressure, and the anxiety too along with self- doubt

Imposter syndrome is basically when you think you’re not good enough at something and think others will find out that you’re not good enough afaik. Your story reminded me of it.
And thank you, I’m not learning anymore since I graduated but I still deal with it but I’m trying to get over it

 

[litc]

Imposter syndrome is basically when you think you’re not good enough at something and think others will find out that you’re not good enough afaik. Your story reminded me of it.
And thank you, I’m not learning anymore since I graduated but I still deal with it but I’m trying to get over it

Oh right I forgot you graduated

 

[Mew]

With my appearance yes, but it's not based on what others think of me but what I think of me so it's hard to combat since it's my warped perception that's causing the issue.

With my personality and how I interact with people, no. I have confidence in my personality, so people tend to be surprised that I have a problem with my appearance cause I don't feel the need to talk about how I dislike my appearance really.