Is it a red flag if your friends husband slids in your dms? (1 Viewer)

[seungfloral]

Okay, as a prefice i wanna say that i don't mind if married people wanna make friends outside their marriage. It shouldn't be a problem, unless your significant other doesn't have a problem with it.

The person who texted me is the husband of my acquintance, they moved away a long time ago, and have 3 kids. I never personally talked to my friend's husband, we only exchanged a quick ''hi'' whenever they visited. He just randomly texted me one day tho, after i accepted his friend request on fb. His profile picture was of him and my friend, so i was sure it was him and he had posts with his family. He didn't start flirting , just asking me about work, about trivial things, he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work... These kind of stuff.

On one hand i thought maybe he wants to introduce me to someone, but he didnt mention it. I didnt talk to his wife either ever since they moved away. So why message me? A friend of his wife, who lives in a different town and hasn't ever spoken to you more than 5 words?

Am i reading too much into this?

 

[Willow]

It sounds a bit weird

 

[litc]

Okay, as a prefice i wanna say that i don't mind if married people wanna make friends outside their marriage. It shouldn't be a problem, unless your significant other doesn't have a problem with it.

The person who texted me is the husband of my acquintance, they moved away a long time ago, and have 3 kids. I never personally talked to my friend's husband, we only exchanged a quick ''hi'' whenever they visited. He just randomly texted me one day tho, after i accepted his friend request on fb. His profile picture was of him and my friend, so i was sure it was him and he had posts with his family. He didn't start flirting , just asking me about work, about trivial things, he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work... These kind of stuff.

On one hand i thought maybe he wants to introduce me to someone, but he didnt mention it. I didnt talk to his wife either ever since they moved away. So why message me? A friend of his wife, who lives in a different town and hasn't ever spoken to you more than 5 words?

Am i reading too much into this?

Since you haven’t talked to the wife in a while, yeah it’s weird, ask how she is

 

[Magician]

it is weird and I would probably not respond to him

 

[Tickita]

he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work

....okay. Pretty weird.

 

[seungfloral]

I agree with everyone above, it's sus...

Maybe i was liking some pics on accident on fb, idk. But after i said goodbye he suddenly wrote ''you can't sleep?''

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Okay, as a prefice i wanna say that i don't mind if married people wanna make friends outside their marriage. It shouldn't be a problem, unless your significant other doesn't have a problem with it.

The person who texted me is the husband of my acquintance, they moved away a long time ago, and have 3 kids. I never personally talked to my friend's husband, we only exchanged a quick ''hi'' whenever they visited. He just randomly texted me one day tho, after i accepted his friend request on fb. His profile picture was of him and my friend, so i was sure it was him and he had posts with his family. He didn't start flirting , just asking me about work, about trivial things, he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work... These kind of stuff.

On one hand i thought maybe he wants to introduce me to someone, but he didnt mention it. I didnt talk to his wife either ever since they moved away. So why message me? A friend of his wife, who lives in a different town and hasn't ever spoken to you more than 5 words?

Am i reading too much into this?

Definitely sus. The true test is does the wife know. I'd call and say how thoughtful it was for her husband to text and say hi. If the shit hits the fan you know something is up.

 

[seungfloral]

Definitely sus. The true test is does the wife know. I'd call and say how thoughtful it was for her husband to text and say hi. If the shit hits the fan you know something is up.

Wow i'm not actually ballsy enough to do that. I might if he asks something flirty. But i muted him for now.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Wow i'm not actually ballsy enough to do that. I might if he asks something flirty. But i muted him for now.

I'd do it for 3 reasons. 1. The wife has a right to know. 2. There is no excuse to cheat. Ever. 3. I'm an asshole and there's to much entertainment value in watching him get his ass reamed to pass up.

 

[PloryWinxyMYBlnk]

Okay, as a prefice i wanna say that i don't mind if married people wanna make friends outside their marriage. It shouldn't be a problem, unless your significant other doesn't have a problem with it.

The person who texted me is the husband of my acquintance, they moved away a long time ago, and have 3 kids. I never personally talked to my friend's husband, we only exchanged a quick ''hi'' whenever they visited. He just randomly texted me one day tho, after i accepted his friend request on fb. His profile picture was of him and my friend, so i was sure it was him and he had posts with his family. He didn't start flirting , just asking me about work, about trivial things, he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work... These kind of stuff.

On one hand i thought maybe he wants to introduce me to someone, but he didnt mention it. I didnt talk to his wife either ever since they moved away. So why message me? A friend of his wife, who lives in a different town and hasn't ever spoken to you more than 5 words?

Am i reading too much into this?

No, you are absolutely right to be suspicious. Especially since you both have barely even spoken to each other whenever they visited you.

I think you have to tell your friend this as well, the sooner the better, so this issue can be resolved quickly.
And those random questions he's been asking, what the hell is up with that??? That's two red flags in my book.

I'm sorry, but, simply put, he is being a creep. Again, you Must squash this as soon as possible.

 

[seungfloral]

I'd do it for 3 reasons. 1. The wife has a right to know. 2. There is no excuse to cheat. Ever. 3. I'm an asshole and there's to much entertainment value in watching him get his ass reamed to pass up.

idk if this classified as cheating tho

 

[StirFriedPanda]

idk if this classified as cheating tho

If she knows or is ok with it then it's not. If she doesn't and is not ok with it then it is. Actually cheating and looking for someone to cheat with are the same thing. If I wanted to txt my wife's friend that we don't talk to any more rest assured I'd make sure my wife knew and was ok with it. That's common sense and respecting your partner.

 

[seungfloral]

If she knows or is ok with it then it's not. If she doesn't and is not ok with it then it is. Actually cheating and looking for someone to cheat with are the same thing. If I wanted to txt my wife's friend that we don't talk to any more rest assured I'd make sure my wife knew and was ok with it. That's common sense and respecting your partner.

Hmm maybe a check up on the wife wouldnt be bad, or asking the husband about my friend

 

[Skorge]

 

[ChiaraStar169]

not if he was just being friendly. But considering the entire OP, I'd say yes, it's a HUGE red flag. You should definitely tell her about this if you haven't already.

 

[seungfloral]

not if he was just being friendly. But considering the entire OP, I'd say yes, it's a HUGE red flag. You should definitely tell her about this if you haven't already.

Will do tomorrow

 

[GOJOSWIFE]

He didn't start flirting , just asking me about work, about trivial things, he asked me when i usually wake up and around what time do i work... These kind of stuff.


unfortunately, loser men don't know how to flirt these days. so that's probably what he was doing actually. either way that's creepy as hell i would screenshot and screen-record proof and block. like it sounds like he's planning a fucking break-in or some shit. i hope you either lied to him or didn't give him that info.

 

[dark_tranquility]

strange. I would block if it were me.

 

[Jewel]

I'd mention it to the wife that he chatted and along the lines of like someone said mention how it was thoughtful of him to say hi. That's usually a good route if you do wanna get into the mystery

 

[Selfmate]

context matters
what is he asking and why is he asking it
maybe he's just trying to be friendly, maybe he is a creep