Sensitive The conflict in my head is ridiculous. (1 Viewer)

[Jewel]

I'm still VERY upset and torn up from losing Binnie. I'm going on vacation to the beach Sunday. I am a bit excited but then realize Binnie is in the stars and come crashing down. I keep thinking of him and looking at pics of his beautiful smile. Hearing his voice shakes me up badly. I need to know the cause of death. I just, it doesn't feel real. On top of all this my health is being a ass. Me being able to do simple day to day things is becoming harder. I'm praying I get approved for a life changing medicine. God, I just wanna have a good quality of life.​

 

[BlingyBlinger]

I'm in the same boat *hugs* trust me that you aren't alone in feeling this way. It takes time, sometimes a lot of time, but slowly things will get easier

 

[Jewel]

I'm in the same boat *hugs* trust me that you aren't alone in feeling this way. It takes time, sometimes a lot of time, but slowly things will get easier

 

[frocho]

I'm feeling the same way, it's just not you. I was watching "Candy In My Ears" with him and Moon Sua and instead of smiling at it as I did before, I was breaking down in tears. This shouldn't be hurting me this much since I don't know Astro or him that well but for some reason, it does. I always thought he had a beautiful smile and a golden personality though. Part of me just wishes to see that he died from some sort of natural cause because it hurts too much to know he might have died this way. I can't focus at all when I'm at school because my mind keeps going back to him. I almost cry whenever I see a YouTube suggestion for one of his videos. I can't imagine what Sua is going through right now. I was watching some sort of episode with him and Sua and it hurt when she said that she calls him when she's stressed but he doesn't always pick up but now he'll never pick up again forever. Thinking about that hurt me a lot. This was the first idol that died since the others died when I wasn't a K-pop stan so maybe that's why it hurts a lot. I struggle with depression and bad thoughts myself so maybe that's another reason. He just always seemed so happy and seemed to always have people around him but I guess deep inside, he was lonely. I just wonder if he had waited some more or if someone had come into his life, could he still be alive? It's still unbelievable that this happened. It scares me as well because this could happen to more idols in the future when they seem so happy right now. I hope he's happy where he is right now but I wish he had stayed on this earth. We lost a wonderful human but the sky obtained a bright, beautiful star. I hope he rests in peace wherever he is.

 

[ChiaraStar169]

He was my bias wrecker when I stanned Astro, and I was considering re-stanning... but now I won't be able to bc Moonbin is gone! I mean, I could always support OT5 if they plan to continue, but it just won't be the same. I guess we cxan help each other cope.

 

[Jewel]

Part of me just wishes to see that he died from some sort of natural cause because it hurts too much to know he might have died this way

This is what I'm thinking. And things don't add up for it to be suicide. I'm thinking health or accident. They won't do the damn autopsy DAMMIT

 

[Jewel]

He was my bias wrecker when I stanned Astro, and I was considering re-stanning... but now I won't be able to bc Moonbin is gone! I mean, I could always support OT5 if they plan to continue, but it just won't be the same. I guess we cxan help each other cope.

Yeah he started as my wrecker and I was just a casual now and then fan. And then Moonbin overthrew Eun woo as my bias

 

[Abeamus]

This is what I'm thinking. And things don't add up for it to be suicide. I'm thinking health or accident. They won't do the damn autopsy DAMMIT

He had an autopsy done on him but the results have not been published yet and the only other thing the police have said since they suspected suicide is that Moonbin left no suicide note.

Only other things I've seen is Dispatch put out that after the Bangkok concert with Sanha on the 8th Moonbin said he wasn't feeling well and was trying to get better.

And then some unknown source so this part isn't confirmed saying Moonbin had high blood pressure and heart problems recently and had a stroke but don't take that as fact it's just weirdly detailed for something random.

 

[Jewel]

He had an autopsy done on him but the results have not been published yet and the only other thing the police have said since they suspected suicide is that Moonbin left no suicide note.

Only other things I've seen is Dispatch put out that after the Bangkok concert with Sanha on the 8th Moonbin said he wasn't feeling well and was trying to get better.

And then some unknown source so this part isn't confirmed saying Moonbin had high blood pressure and heart problems recently and had a stroke but don't take that as fact it's just weirdly detailed for something random.

Yeah, I saw the bit about his health. That's what I generally think it is. Because he's had a lot of trouble in the past where he had to be on hiatus because of it.

 

[Abeamus]

Yeah, I saw the bit about his health. That's what I generally think it is. Because he's had a lot of trouble in the past where he had to be on hiatus because of it.

It was also his mothers birthday so doesn't sound like a day someone would make that kind of decision without having big family issues

 

[Jewel]

It was also his mothers birthday so doesn't sound like a day someone would make that kind of decision without having big family issues

YESSS that's what I'm thinking.

 

[Abeamus]

YESSS that's what I'm thinking.

There really isn't anything to think it was suicide if you ignore preconceived notions like he wanted to be a father as well but only thing that can really be done is waiting on the autopsy

 

[litc]

There really isn't anything to think it was suicide if you ignore preconceived notions like he wanted to be a father as well but only thing that can really be done is waiting on the autopsy

If the autopsy is done and turns out to not be suicide I think the people saying or acting or assuming like it is are being harmful …

i can’t expect it’s good for the mental health of his family and others who actually knew him personally for if he died from a health condition or something accidental with all this “how can he have been so sad and no one noticed” “he was so unhappy” using him as an example of “oh the idol industry is bad look he died too”, etc, blaming netizens, saying what if ppl close to him (specifically sua) do the same

until they say what the cause of death is if they do ppl need to stop assuming…

 

[Abeamus]

If the autopsy is done and turns out to not be suicide I think the people saying or acting or assuming like it is are being harmful …

i can’t expect it’s good for the mental health of his family and others who actually knew him personally for if he died from a health condition or something accidental with all this “how can he have been so sad and no one noticed” “he was so unhappy” using him as an example of “oh the idol industry is bad look he died too”, etc, blaming netizens, saying what if ppl close to him (specifically sua) do the same

until they say what the cause of death is if they do ppl need to stop assuming…

I did see some posts and even an article grouping Moonbin with Jonghyun, Hara and Sulli which isn't helped by the fact the police put out it was suspected suicide then they put out another thing to say they couldn't find no suicide note and said "we believe Moonbin made an extreme decision" like it seems like they just looked at him being alone when he died and having ruled out murder they just went with suicide because that's what they are used to seeing.

The other thing with people suspecting suicide though is they always go to that the person must've been so unhappy on the inside when some cases of suicide aren't directly because of mental wellbeing but more due to physical wellbeing that will make living more difficult for you from being in physical pain constantly that you believe you're just going to have to live with this from now on.

I did see a fan mention that Moonbin would just get nosebleeds, a stomachache or chest pain during lives which getting chest pain is usually a major red flag and with what he said after the Bangkok concert about being ill but saying he's fine and promising to get better if he thought it'd pass if he took it easy but it was a more severe condition as Dispatch likely pointed it out for a reason but the wording doesn't really go either way on its own.

I agree that overall people should just stop grouping him in with things when we as fans have no idea what he died of and at this moment should just focus on supporting the idols who need it in the ways that we can and appreciating the good times Moonbin gave us.

 

[ChiaraStar169]

I did see some posts and even an article grouping Moonbin with Jonghyun, Hara and Sulli which isn't helped by the fact the police put out it was suspected suicide then they put out another thing to say they couldn't find no suicide note and said "we believe Moonbin made an extreme decision" like it seems like they just looked at him being alone when he died and having ruled out murder they just went with suicide because that's what they are used to seeing.

The other thing with people suspecting suicide though is they always go to that the person must've been so unhappy on the inside when some cases of suicide aren't directly because of mental wellbeing but more due to physical wellbeing that will make living more difficult for you from being in physical pain constantly that you believe you're just going to have to live with this from now on.

I did see a fan mention that Moonbin would just get nosebleeds, a stomachache or chest pain during lives which getting chest pain is usually a major red flag and with what he said after the Bangkok concert about being ill but saying he's fine and promising to get better if he thought it'd pass if he took it easy but it was a more severe condition as Dispatch likely pointed it out for a reason but the wording doesn't really go either way on its own.

I agree that overall people should just stop grouping him in with things when we as fans have no idea what he died of and at this moment should just focus on supporting the idols who need it in the ways that we can and appreciating the good times Moonbin gave us.

Yeah, I agree. Not every sudden death is a suicide, sometimes it's a natural cause. Hell, my gramma died suddenly in 2012 of a ruptured varicose vein in her leg, and she lived alone and had nobody over when she passed. Assuming just makes us foolish jackasses.

And yes, people need to stop writing Moonbin off like he was just another victim of the K-industry. Like you pointed out, we won't know the cause of death until the autopsy results are revealed. And we didn't personally know him, so we couldn't possibly know what the circumstances were.

Lastly, I also agree that we should just appreciate the good times instead of mulling over what he could've died of. That's one of the best ways to deal with any kind of loss, remembering happy events surrounding that person or animal or what have you. Yes, he died way too young, but that short life of his was a very good one. He was talented, had a huge fanbase with Astro, had a great personality... just be grateful he got to live his dream!