Long time no see? Birth of self... (1 Viewer)

[Myth]

Hi it's been awhile...

Today is my birthday... kind of, one more hour in my timezone... but I share it with P1harmony Theo... kind of cool to share something small like that with your ult group. However small it may be.

I wish not to get into it. But I felt like I was carrying such a huge weight. Something inside me broke. I had to retreat to myself. Real life tastes dull, digital life tastes dull, I wanted to get some space to myself.

Spoiler: more mental health stuff and crap

And tbh, Idk if I am better. I still feel this pain deep inside me. It bubbles up every once in awhile making me falter. It's like a weight I am stuck carrying forever and ever. It reminds me of a writing by the philosopher Camus... he compared life to the myth of Sisyphus... a Greek legend in which the main character Sisyphus is condemned eternally to roll a bolder up a cliff... only for it to roll down once again, causing this cycle of pushing the bolder up and up to repeat. There isn't an endpoint... there might not even be a point. There's just this repetitive action. That might be life. Not having one big point to it all but you keep going, you keep pushing through it.

... That sounds bleak doesn't it? It doesn't have to be though. Even if there isn't a grand point to what you're doing, what we're all doing, we can still find happiness in life. The small things, positive experiences, friends, family,... we can even make it less miserable for each other. I want to believe in that. I want to believe that I can keep going and feel slightly better and things to be happy about. Even if this scar stays within me and the painful memories echo throughout the caves it carved in my heart. That pain merely lives in me but it doesn't define me.

But that is to say... I want to keep going and I think I have the strength to be here again. I am sorry I can be negligent and unresponsive... maybe I still will be to an extent but one step at a time I can be better. It's a little everyday.

Sorry for writing something so long and heavy. There's many thoughts I have on this day and I felt I needed to get something like this out to the people who have been thinking of me and have been quietly sending me love and support. Thank you for that. I am happy to say I am going to be more active again and will do better to interact with all the lovely people as much as possible. I do treasure this community even through moments where I am a little underground and out of sight.

- Eden / Myth (Mandubun)

 

[Myth]

Friends...
@mahiya @velvet @MK3AMisSleepy @Jungwonie @YouChanTheSheep @fairyOfshampOO

 

[athenaaa]

First off happy early birthday. And secondly I am happy to see you back

You have always been such a positive person on this forum (and other places in the past) and am happy you have decided to come back. But even if you hadn’t, I would’ve still continued reach and wish you well. Keep your head up, you’re doing well, Eden

Please remember that you are loved and cherished by so many people. Ily

 

[fairyOfshampOO]

Welcome BACK .

 

[velvet]

AHUGEFVGHIU32`IRHVGRI3U19IRUHBVRWHIJOIEJFBHRJWHIOFGREHVIUFRIHBHIFRWHTJBK BITHCIHOU R3I9BH JR4I209RIBHJR42OI0BJETGRWPOIFDERWJPOICDFJBRE THU9ETIDFJGBTRHGIUVIFBJHWRU9VISJBREHGUVIHFJSBHTEIGUFIVJHFBNJR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHVG BVBHFIUOIDVHFJBER80V JHVRGUFB80VFHJRBTGUFB8VHJRWTGFUVCIADHJVWRGFUFEIHJGVUCUIEWHJGFUV9 OJDHEVFIHRJBHFIEROJHBHVFIRHGJFBFJEROIGBVFKJHERUOIGFJBVFEROIGFVBHFJHEIFHVB

WE CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[velvet]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EI9FURHVHBIEHJEOI2GBRJEOJGBJEOIGBBJEOIGBHBJEKIOHBJRIE IM SO HAPPY YOURE LIKE BACK AND SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MATTER IF THE WEIGHT COMES BACK OR NOT WE'LL ALWAYS BE HERE CHEERING YOU ON, WITH NOISE, ON MUTE, NO MATTER WHAT!

 

[kimsguardian]

happy birthday

i wish you'll get a new start, a better life in your new age

 

[Jungwonie]

Happiest birthday to you!!! I'm really happy to see you back, I've missed you so so much I've always loved our interactions, whenever we would talk, it would make me happy and make my day! You're a beloved friend of mine that I would never ever want to lose, I hope you know that No matter what happens, we'll always be here for you okay?

 

[RandAlThor]

Happy Birthday!!

Welcome back!!

 

[MK3AM]

HBD!! I HOPE U have an amazing day <33
I'm glad you're back and I hope you know that we are all here for you when you need it <3 we love you :DD

 

[Yerichu]

Happy Birthday to You and may you be gifted with a new beginning and freshness
It's times like these we go away for the time needed and sometimes we feel sorry leaving sometimes but we cherish the moments we created here

 

[Michael]

 

[Yelena_Belova]

Happy belated birthday! I missed you a lot. It’s okay to struggle and not feel great some days. Just remember that we all care about and love you a lot. You can always come to any of us for support if you need it, including me.

 

[motorp77]

happy birthday

 

[dark_tranquility]

Happy Birthday and great to see you again.

 

[Selfmate]

- Eden / Myth (Mandubun)

you changed your username again??? lol

if you need to talk DM me my friend

 

[Myth]

you changed your username again??? lol

if you need to talk DM me my friend

Let's not talk about that. It irritates me. :)

also, I thought about it, and talking with you about stuff that stresses me out doesn't help much. I need space. But thanks for the offer.

 

[Selfmate]

Let's not talk about that. It irritates me. :)

also, I thought about it, and talking with you about stuff that stresses me out doesn't help much. I need space. But thanks for the offer.

noted I won't bring it up again

noted - take as much time or as little as you need my friend - all the best to your mental health mate