I dont really feel anything ... (1 Viewer)

[seungfloral]

My sister in law and brother gonna have another baby! It's good news, but i kinda don't feel anything.

I don't know why i'm not enthusiastic as other people would be. I know i personally don't like small kids, i'm just anxious around them. But i have been thinking and it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah my nephews or nieces will be spending some time with us since my nephew has been with my mom for a year now while my sis in law was working. But the boy always went home before i got home from work. So it's not like i have to take care of the kids.

I just don't understand why i'm not wired like other people. Why i'm not over the moon when i see a small baby and don't cooo at them like other people. I thought it was cause i was lazy taking care of them, which i am , i am always lazy. But then why this fright over any baby, and why can't i find them cute? Ex. My coworker showed me pics of his small child, and i was standing there nodding my head. Compliemented the child, but it felt like a rehearsed response in my head. I was thinking " what should i say? What do u say about this baby walking?"

 

[seungfloral]

For example i love animals and coo at them but not at babies

 

[StirFriedPanda]

The problem isn't that your not excited about babies. The problem is your comparing yourself to others. It's OK not to be thrilled with babies while others are. It's OK to be you. I don't find babies even slightly cute. I do the polite, "Yeah, sure... cute kid" All the while mentally rolling my eyes. Just because your female doesn't mean you have to love kids. It's not a supernatural automatic feeling that is automatically instilled in every woman. Don't strive to be like others, strive to be you and the best you possible. Even if that you isn't big on kids. I hope this helps. If not, ignore me.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Also, not feeling anything is sometimes a way we avoid emothions we're scared of, overwhelmed by ,or simply don't know how to process.

 

[kimsguardian]

Also, not feeling anything is sometimes a way we avoid emothions we're scared of, overwhelmed by ,or simply don't know how to process.

aaaw look at you being so warm

 

[StirFriedPanda]

aaaw look at you being so warm

 

[seungfloral]

The problem isn't that your not excited about babies. The problem is your comparing yourself to others. It's OK not to be thrilled with babies while others are. It's OK to be you. I don't find babies even slightly cute. I do the polite, "Yeah, sure... cute kid" All the while mentally rolling my eyes. Just because your female doesn't mean you have to love kids. It's not a supernatural automatic feeling that is automatically instilled in every woman. Don't strive to be like others, strive to be you and the best you possible. Even if that you isn't big on kids. I hope this helps. If not, ignore me.

Thank you, this really made me look at it from another perspective.
I live in a very conservative place so ppl do expect women to have a husband and kid, and the white fenced life , ya know the whole shabang.

While a partner would be great, i am scared of taking care of a kid and don't see myself as a parent figure yet. Probs why i can't find them cute either... They're just ... there xD

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Thank you, this really made me look at it from another perspective.
I live in a very conservative place so ppl do expect women to have a husband and kid, and the white fenced life , ya know the whole shabang.

While a partner would be great, i am scared of taking care of a kid and don't see myself as a parent figure yet. Probs why i can't find them cute either... They're just ... there xD

I know exactly how you feel living in a conservative place. I imagine it's a lot worse for women living in a place like that.

 

[StirFriedPanda]

Honestly, what with climate change, overpopulation and a host of other problems, it doesn't even make sense to have children. Okay, sex is great, woohoo. Put a damn condom on and shut up, to those people. Adopt children, there's plenty of those to go around who all need a good home. If we ever manage to make this world a better place, then having kids might be beautiful again . . . but right now, it just seems selfish and bleak.

I couldn't disagree more about the having kids part but I acknowledge how you feel. We can't stop living while we wait for the world to be better. We have to live and work towards a better world at the same time. Your right about kids needing homes and families but wrong about having your own being bleak and selfish.

 

[seungfloral]

I know exactly how you feel living in a conservative place. I imagine it's a lot worse for women living in a place like that.

Yeah i get pushed men for me to marry. Which u know how it feels when u are made feeling guilty for being single and then presented in front of u a guy "Okay NOW fall in love" like how that probs doesn't really work like that xD.

 

[seungfloral]

Honestly, what with climate change, overpopulation and a host of other problems, it doesn't even make sense to have children. Okay, sex is great, woohoo. Put a damn condom on and shut up, to those people. Adopt children, there's plenty of those to go around who all need a good home. If we ever manage to make this world a better place, then having kids might be beautiful again . . . but right now, it just seems selfish and bleak.

To be honest i hear this a lot from single friends. "Why would we have kids when i'm not even sure the world will last til i die?"
Which is really pessimistic but valid. I just hope the next generation won't have to live through ww3 or smth...

 

[seungfloral]

I couldn't disagree more about the having kids part but I acknowledge how you feel. We can't stop living while we wait for the world to be better. We have to live and work towards a better world at the same time. Your right about kids needing homes and families but wrong about having your own being bleak and selfish.

Also valid for parents and everyone around us. We can work on it to be better

 

[Hoemantic]

You aren't alone! I'm rarely excited, I'll just go like "Oh, congrats!" and move on. Why should I care someone got a crotch gremlin anyway?

 

[seungfloral]

You aren't alone! I'm rarely excited, I'll just go like "Oh, congrats!" and move on. Why should I care someone got a crotch gremlin anyway?

XDDDD well that's ... I .. can't even respond

 

[Selfmate]

well my friend maybe you're an animal person and not a babies person

 

[motorp77]

"another human" seungfloral be like

 

[Nina]

Let’s add a different twist to it to justify not being excited about tiny humans.

Grown humans cause destruction to the world. While the small human may not understand yet, they will grow up and probably be part of the problem.
So it’s understandable not to be excited about another earth destroying being
I don’t always go crazy over babies. Sometimes they look like aliens.
dogs on the other hand love them.

 

[ani07]

if that makes you feel better. I dont care about ppl in general.
I just learned to fake so ppl leave me alone.

 

[seungfloral]

well my friend maybe you're an animal person and not a babies person

That's 100% sure

"another human" seungfloral be like

Pfffffdtt on point

if that makes you feel better. I dont care about ppl in general.
I just learned to fake so ppl leave me alone.

I mean yeah, i'm just in a blah move as a human

 

[seungfloral]

Let’s add a different twist to it to justify not being excited about tiny humans.

Grown humans cause destruction to the world. While the small human may not understand yet, they will grow up and probably be part of the problem.
So it’s understandable not to be excited about another earth destroying being
I don’t always go crazy over babies. Sometimes they look like aliens.
dogs on the other hand love them.

Oh i do find them sweet when they are older. Like 5 and up. Cause i can like talk to them and actually u know make jokes and interact.
Well hope the world still holds on , fringers crossed