How do you feel about those people who are never single? (1 Viewer)

[Day]

I find it so weird and uncomfortable.

Whenever I talk to that person they're telling me about a new person they're talking to and I just can't help but think "are you so insecure as a person that you always need male validation?" and "why do you seek out these kind of relationships that always fall through and then you get hurt and cry about it but the pattern keeps repeating?"
I need someone who's not aroace to explain this to me Do you know someone like this? Why do they do it? I don't get it!

 

[uarmyhope]

one of my cousins are like that... and they be the worst men to ever exist.

 

[Day]

one of my cousins are like that... and they be the worst men to ever exist.

I don't get it bro. NOT AT ALL

 

[uarmyhope]

I don't get it bro. NOT AT ALL

me and my sister was talking about this and we couldnt understand either. our family always asks us if we have a significant other, and our answers are always the same. "no"

like im perfectly okay with being alone stop asking

 

[Day]

me and my sister was talking about this and we couldnt understand either. our family always asks us if we have a significant other, and our answers are always the same. "no"

like im perfectly okay with being alone stop asking

Woah woah woah we are connecting on another level now

Spoiler: AMANDA-

my family does the same annoying thing where every single time I see my extended family they ask if I have a S/O or whenever my dad comes home it's "do you have a boyfriend? or girlfriend? it's okay if you have a girlfriend" and every time i want to ring their necks because why can't I just be MYSELF. why is being MYSELF not enough for you? why do I have to be someone's S/O? it gets me so triggered

 

[athenaaa]

Imma be straight up honest I used to be that person. I didn’t feel valued unless someone loved me

 

[Day]

Imma be straight up honest I used to be that person. I didn’t feel valued unless someone loved me

I'm really sorry you experienced those emotions and feelings. I hope that you've been able to see yourself as I see you - as an amazing person - since then

 

[uarmyhope]

Woah woah woah we are connecting on another level now

Spoiler: AMANDA-

my family does the same annoying thing where every single time I see my extended family they ask if I have a S/O or whenever my dad comes home it's "do you have a boyfriend? or girlfriend? it's okay if you have a girlfriend" and every time i want to ring their necks because why can't I just be MYSELF. why is being MYSELF not enough for you? why do I have to be someone's S/O? it gets me so triggered

i relate to this so much. it's very annoying. im just trying to get thru college, like i have no interests in dating. ask me about how my degree is coming along damn..or something other than dating. please im begging

 

[athenaaa]

I'm really sorry you experienced those emotions and feelings. I hope that you've been able to see yourself as I see you - as an amazing person - since then

Thank you I definitely had a self love journey since then and I don’t attach myself so much with the need to please people. From my personal experience, it took me being at my absolute lowest to understand that a relationship is nice but it shouldn’t define my entire existence. I understand that my value now comes from friendships too, and what I put into my life

 

[Ahsoka]

Well I think that covers a large group of people so I can’t really say imo. If the relationships are constantly a problem for them then yeah I guess that might not be the best choice but if they’re not and they just happen to be happy being in relationships a lot of the time then I don’t see why that should be an issue to anyone else. After all, some people are never in relationships and you could make generalizations about those people too, but they wouldn’t be true all the time either. To me you do you unless you or sometime else is hurting because of your actions and this applies to either extreme for relationships.

 

[doll]

im never single because i like have a boyfriend
but i know someone like this, and i dont understand why she is degrading herself for male attention

 

[GOJOSWIFE]

I find it so weird and uncomfortable.

Whenever I talk to that person they're telling me about a new person they're talking to and I just can't help but think "are you so insecure as a person that you always need male validation?" and "why do you seek out these kind of relationships that always fall through and then you get hurt and cry about it but the pattern keeps repeating?"
I need someone who's not aroace to explain this to me Do you know someone like this? Why do they do it? I don't get it!

not aroace and this could be for a multitude of reasons:
- mental health issues such as bipolar disorder or bpd
- deep insecurity of self
- lack of a parental figure during important phases of their life
- fear of being alone

the list goes on

 

[Day]

Well I think that covers a large group of people so I can’t really say imo. If the relationships are constantly a problem for them then yeah I guess that might not be the best choice but if they’re not and they just happen to be happy being in relationships a lot of the time then I don’t see why that should be an issue to anyone else. After all, some people are never in relationships and you could make generalizations about those people too, but they wouldn’t be true all the time either. To me you do you unless you or sometime else is hurting because of your actions and this applies to either extreme for relationships.

My problem is with when that person confides to you about every single problem that happens with them and even though you advise them to stay single and learn to love themselves they keep getting hurt time after time and your words to them fall on deaf ears every. Single. Time.

 

[Ahsoka]

My problem is with when that person confides to you about every single problem that happens with them and even though you advise them to stay single and learn to love themselves they keep getting hurt time after time and your words to them fall on deaf ears every. Single. Time.

There’s definitely people in that position or who constantly date because of negative reasons or whatnot. But I don’t feel like dating a lot says much about a person, it’s the other problems that do. Pinning it down on just that would be like saying that because some people are scared to date and always single because of negative thoughts about themselves for example, and then saying that people who are single need help with self esteem when that only applies to some. So basically my issue is just the wording of your thread sort of implying/expecting answers saying that all people who date a lot would be better off if they dated less, by referencing people with issues exacerbated by constantly dating. Or at least there’s no narrowing down of groups past everyone who dates a lot. Also my brain is starting to go crazy from typing date a lot/dates a lot/ect over and over

 

[dark_tranquility]

I feel annoyed, when they go on about themselves.
We know you're a couple. stop flaunting it.

makes me so pissy.

 

[motorp77]

i know someone who is lets just say obsessed with women and they had an existential crisis when they were not in a couple for like a month. Can be a good dude but sometimes i feel like they are a little bit psychopatic

 

[Pirioca]

I find it so weird and uncomfortable.

and "why do you seek out these kind of relationships that always fall through and then you get hurt and cry about it but the pattern keeps repeating?"
I need someone who's not aroace to explain this to me Do you know someone like this? Why do they do it? I don't get it!

It seems that many people have a general problem with change. They are afraid of the unknown. So they just try to swap the same type of partner instead of breaking new ground. There are also many men and women that are vulnerable to specific manipulations and trigger stimuli. That's often the reason why even physically hurt women stay with their partners and also stay in their 'victim role'.

 

[Selfmate]

different strokes for different folks my friend

love and affection and friendship and attention and whatnot are some of the basic needs of a human being
some people get that through family or friends and some people get that from dating or a partner