How to get over the fear of being perceived (1 Viewer)

[dark_tranquility]

My autism is pretty weird as well
social situations and symmetrical is annoyng

 

[Day]

My autism is pretty weird as well
social situations and symmetrical is annoyng

I hope it gets better for us

 

[dark_tranquility]

I hope it gets better for us

I totally agree!

 

[litc]

I HATE being perceived.. do you guys think the solution to getting over this fear is to force myself out into it?
@litc I feel like you could provide some insight...

So, basically, I have idol dolls right? And recently I bought some keychain versions... I want to attach Sohee keychain to my backpack and carry him around at my college because I think it would give me strength (the doll is super cute) and maybe help my mood when I feel down or feel like a moron (which happens often).

Maybe this is just me and my autism but it's so hard to try and blend in but know that, no matter what I do, I never will. Never.

This is Sohee's keychain btw

Unrelated - SOEUN MY BABY MY LOVE MY HEART

<3 <3 <3

On topic - I'm not the right person to be asking, I don't even have high functioning autism, since I'm on medical leave I was able to get the testing and it's medically necessary since the doctor wanted it because of what I was like as a child anyway, and it's moderate autism. and I came home because I wasn't being able to do ANYTHING like be a normal human beingand I don't know if I'll ever be able to have a normal life

I couldn't mask even if I wanted to, I can't do basic things, and there's no way to say what I mean here without seeming pathetic and I don't exactly want to say on this thread where anyone on the internet can see

If you want to actually try to make things better for yourself, you'll have to try, I sent you a bunch of resources you have (and yes that included the testing)

The hardest thing for me to find is balance - but with every LITTLE THING - and it's not for lack of trying

Everything is one extreme or another for everything and I've been trying for everything

For this either I'm scared of everything, even stuff I have only good experiences with, or I have no fear including any sense of danger ... all the time ... it's always one of the two

Either I'm too uptight and can't relax or understand jokes or mess with people
Or I smile and laugh all the time and can't be serious, and the worst thing is the number one thing that makes me laugh is people being serious ... it's not funny, it's not fun

I liked doing something, next time, I'm terrified to do it again, things I LIKE
And I do it and like it and yet the next time I'm scared

Or I have no sense of danger, fear, panic, seriousness, etc.

It is messed up

But I try to do things to get better

And I've been failing

And every time it's "I'll do better next time :D"

But like I said, there are you things you can try in order to make things better ...

For Sohee, but him on your backpack. If you're worried about it after putting him on distract yourself with smth else like a movie

 

[Pirioca]

I'm hyperaware of how people look at me, the judgements they make, and that awareness - that "perception" - makes me very uncomfortable, scared, and forces me into a box that prevents me from doing many, many things in my life. I don't know what it means to live without the chokehold of perception on my being (see: autism masking) and that leads me to believe that I truly don't know who I am

Sounds like the Spotlight Effect.

 

[Yerichu]

I'm hyperaware of how people look at me, the judgements they make, and that awareness - that "perception" - makes me very uncomfortable, scared, and forces me into a box that prevents me from doing many, many things in my life. I don't know what it means to live without the chokehold of perception on my being (see: autism masking) and that leads me to believe that I truly don't know who I am

I can relate to this a lot, I don't like the glares that others give off or even what judgement could be made by what you like/wear/do
I can never walk out home, thinking that I can be confident but not too confident, just a sense of feeling where I can relax of what I'm taking such as a Pikachu keychain or other Kpop relate merch that can be taken to other places...and that's not the only thing that keeps me down, I am aware to when people give glances and stare odd upon one, I hate that I cant ignore that but I do happen to notice