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then the issue isn't popularity per se right? your argument was "So virtually any song and style can be K-Pop if it's popular enough in Korea." well technically just because a song is popular in SK doesn't make it kpop per se...If Mariah Carey would live and work in Korea, then 'All I Want For Xmas' would be a K-Pop song (probably parts of the lyrics would be in Korean language too). For the Korean market, the song would probably sound different too.
An example for a Western artist that is a K-Pop idol: AleXa. Alexaundra Christine Schneiderman, born in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She lives in Korea now. Of course, if she would still live in the US and release her songs there, she wouldn't be a K-Pop artist. On the contrary, there's Rina Sawayama. Born in Niigata, Japan. She lives in London, works in London. Would you call her songs J-Pop?
Yep, I don't like categorizations in music. For myself. On the other hand, if a friend tolds me something about Brit Pop, I know how it might sound. If a friend talks about K-Pop, I know that this music most likely sounds different than Brit Pop. Such sorting of musical genres helps to describe a specific music style. But in my private, when I'm alone and I want to listen to music, I don't think: "I want to listen to K-Pop now, then I want to listen to US-Pop, then I want to listen to J-Rock!" Instead I think: "I want to listen to aespa, Lana del Rey, King Gnu."
I would agree that some connection to SK is warranted - whether that's living in SK? promoting in SK? having trained in SK? produced by a producer in SK? managed by a company in SK maybe? ie. some connection to SK is needed
the only categorization I have is when I want to listen to something western vs kpop vs Chinese lol
so for me it's language based