when i was younger, i went through so many different names trying to figure out which one i could resonate with which one could fit me and nothing worked nothing stuck and i hated it all, when it comes down to it i just hate being referred to. i denounce it all. somehow, i just feel bothered
so i always fretted over it, why cant i find a name? what if i hate it? i bypassed that in college by going by a nickname so it wasnt a "name" but a name people can still call me by without deadnaming me. but i still hated that i didnt have that sense of
identity, but i honestly think that i never will. i am sure i am incapable of having a sense of one. i am just
the entity.
but now, i have different people calling me by different names, rather nicknames i would say. and no solid name to go by and i am no longer bothered by it. i think it's awesome. call me dio, call me theo, call me sunny, call me buttons, call me roy, call me bread, call me whatever you want, as long as its masc or even an object, i dont care!!! i am free!! that is ME
to my younger self dw, going by a million different names is MUCH cooler than sticking to one.