Have you ever dated an objectivly ugly person??? (4 Viewers)

[Hajima]

have you ever dated a person who was objectively ugly? And how was it like? I am currently in the process of ending this date because the person I met is ugly, he didn't look too ugly in pics but damn he looks ugly af irl..... and I feel bad about it. His personality is fine, he treat me well, but looks are almost everything.

 

[eclipsoul]

no, it's more likely that i would be the objectively ugly person in question

 

[Tickita]

I haven't. Looks are something to me, but not everything. Still if I am truly not into the dude, I wouldn't bother dating him.

 

[uhgr8]

yep , and he had zero redeeming qualities so I don't even know what I was doing. But I think when you really like someone enough for a while thats not something you'd notice as much... until the honeymoon phase is over; you remember they actually suck, and then you look at em like

 

[milk]

You should let them know you are not interested if you aren't attracted to them, since that seems to be important to you. You shouldn't feel bad, you like what you like. I wouldn't say I dated anyone "ugly". I make sure I am attracted to them. I don't give anyone the time of day if there is no attraction. Also I don't like online dating for that reason. People may not look anything like their photos irl. Maybe next time you can have a pre-date on video chat just to see them in motion? That is what I would do.

 

[SHlNEE]

have you ever dated a person who was objectively ugly? And how was it like? I am currently in the process of ending this date because the person I met is ugly, he didn't look too ugly in pics but damn he looks ugly af irl..... and I feel bad about it. His personality is fine, he treat me well, but looks are almost everything.

objectively ugly? so in other words, everyone and anyone would find this person ugly?

 

[Hajima]

objectively ugly? so in other words, everyone and anyone would find this person ugly?

Pretty much yeah, looks to some extent are objective, if you don't fit within the range of attractiveness standards then pretty much everyone would think you are ugly. Looks are subjective is a total bs, it just means taste, for example I will always date Mingyu, but I will reject Taeyong, both at the end of the day attractive, it's just what I find attractive. If you are ugly you are ugly. I am just being honest.

 

[Hajima]

yep , and he had zero redeeming qualities so I don't even know what I was doing. But I think when you really like someone enough for a while thats not something you'd notice as much... until the honeymoon phase is over; you remember they actually suck, and then you look at em like

So you dated and married an ugly dude who was terrible to you? I am confused....

 

[uhgr8]

So you dated and married an ugly dude who was terrible to you? I am confused....

never married omgg
but yeah he was trash lol
super gross to look at (and never put any effort in), was a decade older than me yet I was the bread winner.
legit all he did all day was sit on reddit, complain, and be useless... and thats the least bad stuff

 

[SHlNEE]

Pretty much yeah, looks to some extent are objective, if you don't fit within the range of attractiveness standards then pretty much everyone would think you are ugly. Looks are subjective is a total bs, it just means taste, for example I will always date Mingyu, but I will reject Taeyong, both at the end of the day attractive, it's just what I find attractive. If you are ugly you are ugly. I am just being honest.

i do not agree

calling someone ugly is an ugly thing to do
people should not be put down for their looks no matter what
but you and others like you will always continue to do so
the world is a terrible place to live cause of that type of stuff
but that is my opinion

just because the guy next door does not match the beauty standards that most kpop idols do
does not make this guy ugly
it just might make him less attractive to some than such kpop idols look like

 

[LadyXim]

i'm sorry that you had to go through that
no, i never have. if someone is ugly i cant stop thinking about it, so its too difficult for me

 

[LadyXim]

i do not agree

calling someone ugly is an ugly thing to do
people should not be put down for their looks no matter what
but you and others like you will always continue to do so
the world is a terrible place to live cause of that type of stuff
but that is my opinion

just because the guy next door does not match the beauty standards that most kpop idols do
does not make this guy ugly
it just might make him less attractive to some than such kpop idols look like

the thing is though, everyone has their personal idea of what is attractive and a person cant force themselves to find someone attractive if they dont. maybe the better way to phrase it would be to just say "i dont find them attractive" or "he wasnt my cup of tea" but no matter how its worded the meaning is the same. its a person that you dont find appealing, looking at them doesnt make you happy, and you dont want to get physically close with them

everyone wants to date someone that they like looking at and that they feel excited about touching and etc. it makes things so much easier

 

[LadyXim]

no, it's more likely that i would be the objectively ugly person in question

bingo! i'm the ugly one in ever friend group and in every relationship lmao

 

[LadyXim]

never married omgg
but yeah he was trash lol
super gross to look at (and never put any effort in), was a decade older than me yet I was the bread winner.
legit all he did all day was sit on reddit, complain, and be useless... and thats the least bad stuff

so how did he convince you to date him? what was his appeal?

 

[SHlNEE]

the thing is though, everyone has their personal idea of what is attractive and a person cant force themselves to find someone attractive if they dont. maybe the better way to phrase it would be to just say "i dont find them attractive" or "he wasnt my cup of tea" but no matter how its worded the meaning is the same. its a person that you dont find appealing, looking at them doesnt make you happy, and you dont want to get physically close with them

everyone wants to date someone that they like looking at and that they feel excited about touching and etc. it makes things so much easier

of course we want a partner we find attractive and feel attracted to body wise
i agree, that is normal and human and we all want that
but there is a difference, in my opinion, in saying;
hey you are not my type , i don't feel myself attracted to you
than to right out say;
you ugly

by saying the first that does not even have to imply you stating they ugly
you just simply stating they will become more happy with someone else who will find them more attractive than you

 

[LadyXim]

of course we want a partner we find attractive and feel attracted to body wise
i agree, that is normal and human and we all want that
but there is a difference, in my opinion, in saying;
hey you are not my type , i don't feel myself attracted to you
than to right out say;
you ugly

by saying the first that does not even have to imply you stating they ugly
you just simply stating they will become more happy with someone else who will find them more attractive than you

to me its the same thing, one is just more polite than the other. the reason its the same thing for me is because i would never turn a decent looking man down for a date. even if he wasn't my ideal type or he wasn't the prettiest painting on the wall, i would date him because i wouldn't feel any reason to not try. if i'm saying no, he's ugly. periodt. i can say it nicely but the meaning doesn't change. there is something about his appearance or hygiene or both that is really putting me off.

i understand not all people draw the lines in exactly the same places and ways that i do, i'm just saying this is how it is for me

 

[SHlNEE]

to me its the same thing, one is just more polite than the other. the reason its the same thing for me is because i would never turn a decent looking man down for a date. even if he wasn't my ideal type or he wasn't the prettiest painting on the wall, i would date him because i wouldn't feel any reason to not try. if i'm saying no, they're ugly. periodt. i can say it nicely but the meaning doesn't change. there is something about his appearance or hygiene or both that is really putting me off.

they are not UGLY
they are someone who YOU not find attractive
period
or else, with your theory, a fak ton of people could also call you ugly, nothing more nothing less, since everyone cannot be attracted to every single human on the planet, you be fine with that? that must give you a boost of self esteem for sure

ANYWAYS

are you saying you would be dating an attractive man even though beforehand, before the date even starts, you get a huge vibe he is an asshole
because of the way he says things and acts around you before the date
you still be dating him?

 

[Hajima]

i do not agree

calling someone ugly is an ugly thing to do
people should not be put down for their looks no matter what
but you and others like you will always continue to do so
the world is a terrible place to live cause of that type of stuff
but that is my opinion

just because the guy next door does not match the beauty standards that most kpop idols do
does not make this guy ugly
it just might make him less attractive to some than such kpop idols look like

I am not saying it's OK to bully them, all I am saying ugly people who can't date do exist and putting the blame on them or their personality is a total bs, it's their looks. Stop blaming ugly people for their ugliness.

 

[LadyXim]

they are not UGLY
they are someone who YOU not find attractive
period
or else, with your theory, a fak ton of people could also call you ugly, nothing more nothing less, since everyone cannot be attracted to every single human on the planet, you be fine with that? that must give you a boost of self esteem for sure

ANYWAYS

are you saying you would be dating an attractive man even though beforehand, before the date even starts, you get a huge vibe he is an asshole
because of the way he says things and acts around you before the date
you still be dating him?

well i think what you're talking about is the difference between a general standard of beauty and personal taste. i see a lot of men that i think are smoking hot that do not rank high on the general standard of male attractiveness. they are two different scales

for me, if i say a man is ugly i mean he's below a 5 on the general standard of male attractiveness. now, what can put a man there? typically men below a 5 are shorter than average, rounder than average, feminine qualities, poor facial symmetry, weak jaw, receded chin, thin hair or no hair, bad teeth, bad skin, unflattering nose. So I'm not saying everyone will find that man ugly. many would still date him, but most women would pass.

people can call me ugly and i wont even fight them. i feel that i am far more attractive to myself and maybe i only find myself pretty because i'm so used to my face and because i interpret my face while knowing my personality as well. so i may see certain features like my horrible ass nose and think 'this nose is why my sense of smell is so accurate. the big ass nostrils be helping a bitch out" or i may feel its why i sing so well. so i may feel fondness about my honker but others may feel grossed out. thats really not about me, thats about them and their taste. my self esteem isnt about how men view me, its about how i view me. if i look in the mirror and i'm ok with it or i see at least something i like, i'll feel fine. thats my definition of self esteem.

on the general standard of female attractiveness i dont rank very high. i'm a 6 and thats after a LOT of effort. before i put on makeup and dress up i'm deadass a 3. i just try to keep that secret! But i'm not entirely without good physical features. i have pretty eyes, long legs, proportionate weight, small waist. if a man thinks i'm ugly i'm not gonna die over it. i'm gonna understand why he thinks that, but also understand that i'm not a swamp monster by ANY means. and where one man wont, another one will.

if you put me next to a female idol i look SO ugly. but if you just look at me by myself you wouldnt be repulsed. so that's the life of being a 6. you're not in the trash but a good handful of men still wont tap you.

will i date an attractive man that's an asshole? absolutely. i like mean people. i think its funny, and it can also be interesting to see how they view the world and interact with people. as long as they're not mean to ME, we'll be cool. but also most mean people are just putting on a front. underneath that there is a soft cuddly baby. so if some mega hottie wants to date me but he's a douche i'm gonna give him some dates and try to coax out the inner baby. make him go all soft on me. i've done it before. i have a knack for talking to people on a deep level. because they feel they can trust me, they show me sides they dont show others. so i wont reject a hot man until i've seen the side that no one else has seen. then i'll determine if he's trash or not

 

[Hajima]

i'm sorry that you had to go through that
no, i never have. if someone is ugly i cant stop thinking about it, so its too difficult for me

Lol it's not a big deal to me, I just blocked the person and moved on.