Click this please!! (1 Viewer)

[Strawberry_Poppy]

 

[brekker]

Is that your work?

When I was 10 I wrote a story of a girl setting herself on fire. Beat that emo.

 

[Strawberry_Poppy]

Is that your work?

When I was 10 I wrote a story of a girl setting herself on fire. Beat that emo.

yes its for school.
I have many more I could show you but setting herself on fire--- wow.

 

[VillageIdiot]

Good start but neaten up that grammar and syntax

 

[Strawberry_Poppy]

Good start but neaten up that grammar and syntax

Its just the draft

 

[Strawberry_Poppy]

I'll show you guys when its fully done.

I have a customer so brb

 

[raymondchouku]

I'm not sure if you posted this to get constructive criticism or not. But if you did here are my thoughts [and if you didn't disregard my thoughts]:

Spoiler

Use of “only six” seems a bit wordy. “Your imagination” could be switched to “his imagination.” How did he know it needed to be stopped? What made him think it was bad? “And that’s exactly what he did” seems out of place. This could be inferred from the following sentences. “Went to rest” seems weird. “Took a nap or went to bed.” May be exchanged.

I am assuming this is a short writing prompt, so I won’t go into other things that could be added if this were supposed to be a full piece, as it seems to be something that is to be succinct.

 

[SHlNEE]

I'll show you guys when its fully done.

I have a customer so brb

On ks whilst at work
Respect